How do you deal with cancer? Please read below.?

Question

I'm taking care of my father and I'm so tired but I feel as though I have to be there for him. How do you deal with the emotional draining experience?

Answer 1

Yes is can be very emotionally draining experience. And on so many different levels. I commend you on being there for him. Remember if/when something happens to him that you know you have done your best for him.

It is very easy for people whom have not gone through this to be flippant about it. But you have as much emotionally to deal with as he does even though he is the one with cancer. The two of you are on a different levels.

There is no easy answer to dealing with the emotional drain of it. I have a few suggestions. You may already be doing some of these but I though they might help you.

1.Have you checked to see if there is a support group at your church or religous organization? At the hospital he goes to for treatment? In our local paper, there are listings of community groups which include support groups. This type of group gives you chance to talk about your fellings with other people on same journey you are on.
2. If he has insurance, call them to find out if he qualifies for home health care or hospice care. If he does then find out exactly how you go about getting it started and or paperwork that needs filled out. You will most likely need to talk to his doctors with help with paperwork.
3. IF you are able to get home health care for him, you need to get away from the house even if it is only for a couple of hours a week. You need a chance to be around other people.
4. IF he is well enough, can you take him on simple outings like a walk in the park or to church? It will get both of you out of the house.
5.Ask people at church if a couple of them could come sit with him for a couple of hours each week so you can attend support group meetings.
6. Eat healthy meals each day. Don't negelict your dietary nees.
7. Get as much rest/sleep as you can.
8. Read a book you enjoy
9.Take a long bath or shower when you can
10. Work a puzzle together. Build good memories to go along with the less pleasant ones.
11. IF you have siblings, ask them to help out some if they live close by.
12. Find things to laugh about. By yourself and with him
13. Cry once in a while. By yourself and with him
14. Record or write down any oral history he wants to share. Because just like you already know, when he is gone so are his personal history/memories also. There may be family stories you want to remember for future generations.
15. Pray
16. Talk to your clergy or mental health care professional

Best wishes. If you need someone else to talk to email me.

Answer 2

You are a very giving very loving person. Bless your heart,
It is not an easy thing you have chosen to do. I take care of
both my parents. Niether one has cancer. My parentrs have
Home Health Organization, the girl comes by twice weekly,
vaccuumms, mops and dusts. They also help with bathing
and personal care.The Home Health Nurse comes once or
twice a month as needed drawing blood and checking vital
signs. They are most helpful, and you have a support group
in them which proves to be most valuable.
You also need to take time for you, get your nails and
hair done go to lunch, or a movie, Or just lie down and take
a nap. You definately cannot do it by yourself. I know
family members are hard to come by to help, and If you can
get them to help take advantage of that relative. Take care of
yourself so you can be at your best for your Dad.

Answer 3

I have been there with my father. In order to maintain your health, I would recommend respite care where a nurse will come to the house to take care of your father. There are also groups that are for helping those in need while caring for a cancer patient. Check out this website, hope it helps: http://www.aboutmyhair.com/resources.html

Answer 4

It is an extremely emotionally draining experience for both you and him. I would suggest hiring a nurse one or two days a week. It would give you a break away from it all. Sometimes insurance will pay for it also.

Seek out help from his hospital. They will sometimes offer assistance or counseling. Check with a local church (or your church if you go to one).

When I was ill with my bone marrow disorder, our religious faith is what kept us strong. It was hard to not get stuck on "why me", but remaining positive is important.

Answer 5

Look in the phone book under Hospice Care. Those people are wonderful. They will help with your dad and give you time to do things for yourself. You would not believe how great they are. And, the best thing is, they do not charge you one red cent. My grandmother has hospice care and they are wonderful to her and to us. Give them a call. It can't hurt. Good luck.

Answer 6

you must, for your sake and your fathers have at least one day off a week, if he is terminal then hospice might be able to give you a free break, otherwise you might want to look for an in-home caregiver in your area. They might be expensive, but it is worth it, you cant be getting sick while a sick person is relying on you u must have breaks. I understand.

Answer 7

try to look at it from the other side you'll see you don't haveit that bad. Perhaps you should get someone to help you