How can I stop lying?

Question

I want so bad to just stop lying. I've always done it. I lie about things I don't even have to. Maybe I do it too seem more interesting, maybe I just want to fit in. All I know is that I can't stop doing it. I've kept lies going for years and am afraid that if I reveal the truth, I will lose those I love most. Should I continue the old lies and stop making new ones? Should I just lay it all on the table and deal with the consequences? Will I ever be trusted again?

Answer 1

I understand how you feel. It’s painful because you lie so that people like or love you more, but it only makes you unhappy. And others don’t trust you! Because they know – even if they don’t tell you…

Follow These Seven Steps To Stop Lying

1) You cannot stop lying if you have not admitted to yourself that you have. Staying in denial state of mind only prolongs your pain and reinforces behaviors that make you unhappy with yourself. Therefore – admit and accept responsibility.

2) Make a list of all the resources you already know that works for you. List the strategies that have worked for you in the past, in all areas of your life, to achieve any type of goal. (For example: I stay motivated by listening to motivational tapes and reading books.)

3) Keep a list of your lying slips – the times you fall of the wagon. Ask yourself: “Hey, what happened? (For example: I was feeling insecure about my actions, so I lied , because it make me feel better.)
This exercise is important because learning takes place when you start asking questions.

4) List the reasons why your lying did not address your problem. Ask yourself: “What didn’t work here? Why not?” ( Example: Lying did not make me feel better; in fact it made me feel worse about myself – later.)

If you can learn as much as you can from one lie, then the next lie isn’t quite so traumatic. Remember, it’s more important to think of progress rather than perfection.

Or past lies and behaviors are only information. Use it to correct and improve your present and your future. I read somewhere, “If life is worth living it’s worth recording.”

5) Invest in an expensive diary and start recording your actions. Record your reasons for lying. And start a dialogue with yourself.

6) Recording your actions make you aware. And you need to develop the skills of awareness. You may be too critical of your self. Are you? When you tried to stop lying for one day and you failed, do you feel guilty? Do you play the negative images repeatedly in your mind?

Remember: you are not your behavior. When you feel bad and find fault with yourself, you empower your lying habit. The best solution is to become aware of the lie, disassociate yourself from it – because you are not your behavior – and record how it made you feel.

7) The next step is to become an effective risk taker, because progress in life is always going to involve risk. I had many fears and bad habits and I knew I had to take action.

Answer 2

Lying is never the way to go. The truth always catches up to you, one way or another. Maybe if you had to lie to get the friends you have, you didn't deserve them in the first place. Tell the truth. You may lose friends over it. But, that is the price you pay for lying. The more you lie, the harder it is to find the truth. And, there is a good chance a lot of the people you know will never trust you again. Trust is something you haven't earned from them though. You lied to get it. You broke that trust on your own. No sympathies honey.

Answer 3

Everyone lies. You just admitted to your lies and face it. The consequences may be bad or they may be better than you expected. Just tell the truth and get it off your chest. Besides i f you lay it on the table know you want have to go through the confusion of keeping up with the old ones.

Answer 4

Lying is a hard habit to stop. It wil take a lot of perseverance, but I am sure that if you step up and tell the truth, you loved ones will appreciate it in the long run and will continue to love you. Love is unconditional. People are human and make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes and do something about them before it is too late.

Answer 5

If you lie you have to tell another lie to cover up the first lie, then another to cover that, the truth is soon you are going to get caught out & you will feel sooooooooooooooo bad.......best to clear things up now & start fresh, no l;ying a day ata time, sounds to me like you might need to work on your self esteem too, then you wouldnt need to lie to fit in, you would feel accepting of yourself.....good luck you have much work to do!!

Answer 6

All you need is self confident & determination that you will stop lying to people you care. You know all the lies will hurt you & the one you care. That's mean you are aware of the consenqueces of you lies. So, you got to be strong enough to stop telling lies when you planning to do so. Good luck!

Answer 7

no one is perfect...
people do commit mistakes at times but it doesn't mean that you're the worst person...
if you know your mistake...well then correct it..
you don't have to worry about telling the truth...
in the first place is, you've done it and you should be brave enough to face the consequences...second,people who love you won't ever go away and leave you behind 'coz they love you and if ever one does leave, he or she is not really loving you...
if they really love you, they would accept you for whatever you are..and lastly yes you can still be trusted if you just show them your sincere sorry.Don't loose hope...:)

Answer 8

You need therapy. If you have been keeping lies for that long, you are not going to be able to resolve your problems just by deciding you don't want to lie anymore. You need someone supportive to help you through it, realize why you do it and how to stop.

People will be hurt to find out you are lying to them and they will not be able to trust you well in the future. Keep that in mind.

Answer 9

habits die hard. you can't count on anyone else but yourself to change it for good. at least you realise what you have done or are doing is not right which not many people would not want to face the real side of life at all. i hate people cheating on me and honestly i will never trust cheaters for a second time. my golden rule in life is always trust no one but myself. hope these tell you a lot.......

Answer 10

i think the best thing is to be honest with yourself as with your friends..... just tell them the truth... i know it's i went through it too... i thought they would only kick me out of their clique.... but instead they accepted me for who i really was and am.... you should give them a chance and see what happens.... if they abandon you.... you would know what they were after.... you or the things you told them..... the true friends will stick around forever no matter what.... that is what I've learned.... think about it.... you'll come up with the best solution - i hope.... God Bless....