please, please help me?

Question

well this is the end of it all. last night shawn came home drinking and he was mad about my roomate driving our car. he had been drinking and was very irrational. he grabbed our 8 month old in her carseat and threw her back in our jeep. then i got her upstairs and yes, once again he said he was walking out on me an our family, i know i know big surprise huh? well he slammed me in the neck and went down to the jeep and i followed him to get my stuff out of the jeep. he broke my 200.00 cell hone and as i leaned in the drivers side, he drove off and drug me about 10 feet and i got thrown out. my knee is hurt and my arm is bruised as well. i didnt press charges because i love him but i didnt have a choice and was arrested. i cant bail him out, his family is mad at me and wont talk to me. i didnt do anything wrong and i dont get why my daughter and i have to get the brunt of this. he is charged with a felonious assult and a domestic violence and i am scared his bail will get set too high

or he will have to stay in jail. i know it is stupid but out daughter was brn sickly and she loves her dad and i dont want him to walk out of our life..by the way shawn is my fiance

Answer 1

he hurt me and cause me harm and did care about his daughter getting hurt whil he was driving drunk. but he is a real nice guy. yeah right why are you addcited to this guy. he is your heroin isnt he. time to go cold turkey either shake this addiction or you will be chasing that high till you get hit and dont get up.

Answer 2

It's to your advantage that Shawn's bail be set exceptionally high until the Prosecution can build it's case against him. He not only abused your daughter, but he abused you. You recognized that you haven't done anything wrong, but are being persecuted by his parents. Your responsibility is to make sure that your daughter is NOT a victim of Shawn's abuse and abuse by his parents because of their opinion that 'you've' done something wrong to 'their' son. Their son committed an act that is unacceptable and against the law.

Hoping that Shawn will be able to return home because your daughter loves him and is sickly and you want the family intact is perpetrating the abuse. This isn't a question of whether Shawn will abuse you and your daughter again, it's a question of WHEN he does.

I urge you to immediately contact your local Crisis Center (usually a 24hr support line) or a Domestic Violence Task Force in your area to seek the help that you truely need and to garner the protection that you and your daughter need. The cycle of abuse is one that continues and escalates when it is not addressed. You and your daughter are not exempt from danger. Shawn must recognize that he needs help with his abusive behavior. His 'being in the system' now under the domestic violence category will present to him the opportunity to make the vital changes that are necessasary to having a domestic violence free home. But, HE must be willing to admit that he has a problem in order to get the help that he needs.

In the meantime, your position as a woman and a mother, is to protect yourself and your daughter first. You owe that to your daughter, you owe it to yourself, to seek Domestic Violence help. Don't let yourself become a victim again. You may not be around to protect your daughter if you don't do something NOW.

Answer 3

You ought to be VERY scared the bail will get set too low!!!!!

What are you thinking? You are exposing your baby who is entrusted to you to see her through this life safely using the good sense God gave you! Little one, get out of there and DON'T leave your whereabouts known until you get an attorney who can get a restraining order and also that he is ordered to get ALL the help he needs. He also needs to prove himself for years before you even consider letting him visit, and then it MUST be in the presence of some big burley brother or friend (you get my drift)

This is an abusive, abusive, controling through fear relationship. You live in fear and walk on eggshells because if you say or make the wrong move, you don't know if you are going to wake-up in the morning. I was in the same type relationship and when I got my children SAFE, I fell apart; I couldn't remember what I did or didn't like, didn't know how to think straight (the doctor said it was as if I'd been in a war and had post traumatic stress syndrome) I had to lay my clothes on the bed to figure out the front from the back! How dare anyone take your life from you, a feeling at a time!!!!!

Please, before your family is making funeral arrangements for you and your baby, GET OUT!!!!!

His family is mad because they are coming face to face with what they created!!!! They are all part of the sickness, so their reality is all skewed; they must not love any of you very much to lash out at you when they should be running to help you.

Please, don't just file this, please take the steps you need to, even if you are weary, and get yourselves out of there!!!!!

Answer 4

read your question and answer it yourself!Would you tell someone to stay with a guy like that? Do you really want your daughter to live in that situation? Let her grow up loving her dad, not in the hospital because of him or worse, in a grave. Let him go and save yourself and your daughter! Maybe he will get the therapy he needs while he is in jail and can love his daughter the way she needs to be loved...but still, dont marry the guy.

Answer 5

Honey, you need to get OUT of this relationship right now. Not tomorrow, right NOW. You deserve way better than this. The guy is violent and abusive and you have a child to think about here.

Call lifeline, helpline, whatever it takes to get you and your daughter to a better life.
USA
Domestic abuse hotline (national) 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Battered women Helpline 1-561-659-6900

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm

UK http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
0808 2000 247

Good luck to you honey

Answer 6

Gen ..... growth, personal growth ..... you need some.....trade up....any one who would treat the mother of his child with such disrespect and abuse needs alotta time with a harry man named Mel in a small cell for years to learn from his huge mistakes.....
You have one huge good furtune here ... you didn't marry the idiot.

Send you babys daddy packing ....send his crapt to the local jail !!

Move, take a shower, start over ... good riddence to bad rubbish!

If you don't fix it now it will only get worse.

Be safe, be smart for your child!

Answer 7

You need to let him go! The next time he drinks to much he just might kill you and then who is going to be there totake care of your daughter! As hard as it may be, leave him and tell him to get help or you will NEVER go back to him! Don't let his family get you down! They were not there and will always support him! Tell them to pay his bail!
Good luck!

Answer 8

I am SORRY. I do not know you. But based on what you have said here, and I could not read it ALL. I just seen one thing that crawled underneath my SKIN.

You are FLAT out ****** STUPID if you get him out of jail. If this is his FIRST arrested. MAYBE it will do him so good. LET HIM STAY THERE.

Answer 9

wow,where do women like this live,, my wife forgets who i am and is very violent,, but you seem to be a good woman,, if you wish to continue with this man,, have yourself a nice life insurance policy, and /or medical,, thats the only road your going to go down with this scum,,

Answer 10

you know what to do..just do it!!!!!! dont put your daughter in harms way, he has showed you what he is all about...and to him even your daughter doesnt matter or he wouldent have did what he did. leave him to deal with getting out of jail...move on...