Three weeks ago, a crush of mine (2 years long, but he denied being gay/bi) came out to me and told me that he liked me and that he's liked me for a long time.At the time,I had pretty much gotten over him and I didn't really feel much for him.However,I let my self build up my feelings for him and we started our relationship.In the beginning,he told me I had to keep it secret,and I thought that would be fine.As time went on,I realized that would be pretty hard since I'm completely out and he has this image being an extremely religious catholic(which he is),so us being together at school would be suspicious.Unfortunately the only time either of us had to see each other was at school.I couldn't bear to keep it secret,so I asked him if he was ready for this.He told me he wasn't sure.Now out of nowhere he is ignoring me and the last thing I heard from him was "There's someone else..it's god" through a text message. How can I explain to him that us being together won't get him sent to hell?
2006-10-07 17:16:07 · 8 answers · asked by la_z_boi68 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
His grandfather is a pastor so he's pretty much been brainwashed since Day 1, but this isn't the only time he's questioned his 'sexuality' and the last he did the same thing...ran back to the thought that being 'pure' and 'faithful' to god will make him straight. I know about the first incident because about a year ago when I told him I liked him, he told me that at one time he thought he was gay but he 'turned to god' and god saved him. I can't bear to see this guy be in denial :(
2006-10-07 17:31:25 · update #1
Geez this is really painful for you, I'm sorry. Ok, here's reality. You can't help. Not at all. This situation will only bring negativity and pain in your life. You need to distance yourself from him and his denial.
He's going to live with this all his life, until he is able to find a way to cope. Your choice is to fight a losing battle, and take the chance that he will carry you down with him.
I know that its not what you want to do as a friend, but this is one of those situations of personal hell that you cannot fix for him. Tell him that you love him, that you are his friend, and that if he ever needs to talk, you will be there for him. Do NOT ever have intimate contact with him again, he will turn on you in his pain, like a dog turns on its owner when hurt. You don't need that in your life, and it will get in the way of your own happiness.
Good luck, be strong and be happier.
2006-10-08 02:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with that, those friggin fundies got their claws into him?
You could show him how many children got slaughtered in the Old Testament by god abd his agents. There were THOUSANDS of kids killed, Check it out.
Exodus 11:5 And all the firstborn in the land of Egypt shall die, from the first born of Pharaoh that sitteth upon his throne, even unto the firstborn of the maidservant that is behind the mill; and all the firstborn of beasts.
11:6 And there shall be a great cry throughout all the land of Egypt, such as there was none like it, nor shall be like it any more.
11:7 But against any of the children of Israel shall not a dog move his tongue, against man or beast: that ye may know how that the LORD doth put a difference between the Egyptians and Israel
2006-10-07 17:19:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
la_z_boi68,
I'm sorry you had your heart broken like that. It's always sad when that happens.
But look, this guy is no good for anybody. Not a girl either. He's in conflict AND denial. You will only get hurt again if you ever let it happen again.
Please, you have to stop looking at his life. It's yours that I am worried about. He is only pain. The woman he ends up with, if he does, is going to have to deal with the same tendency of denial.
If you are ever with him again, tell him what I said. I am not judging him, I'm looking out for you.
2006-10-07 18:02:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is true that being together is not a sin. but i think this kind of things can not be forced. maybe you can try taking it slow, telling him that God won't blame him for it. i myself had this kind of problems before, i guess its just up to him whether or not he can accept being a bi. it needs time, good luck!
2006-10-07 17:20:50 · answer #4 · answered by vlmt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ber grateful he is not pestering you top join him in his conversion.
There is nothing wrong with this if you truly wish to do so, but remaining true to yourself is the best thing.
May your days be bright and pleasant, Rose P.
2006-10-07 17:33:24 · answer #5 · answered by rose p 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the bible thumpers got to him first. Just let him be, he will come along. If not he will live a very unhappy life.
2006-10-07 17:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by JR 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well people are gonna have thier beliefs, in my opinion it is best be around people that have something in common with you, it is best to just move on.
2006-10-07 19:08:14 · answer #7 · answered by sillylance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He made his choice. He chose "God".
Forget it. Unless, you're willing to wait a decade until he figures himself out.
2006-10-07 17:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by it 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋