I have always thought it would be awesome to have a gay kid, and now I have a gay god-child. My question is, how do I help and guide her without giving her the impression that if she decides to like men later on, it would disappoint me? I don't want to have such a reaction that she feels that she has to stay gay to keep me loving her. Do you know what I mean?
Besides, since she is 13, this may just be an experimental phase. Or, this may not. Who knows? I just want to be as supportive and involved as I can. Any suggestions? BTW, I am straight, and my household is Pagan (I live with my god-daughter's parents. We pooled our resources and got a house.)
And, no input from the Bible-thumping Chrisitan Nazis who encourage individuality through conformity. You're going to heaven, no one else is, yada yada yada. We're all very happy for you. Now shut up.
2006-10-07 16:57:05 · 14 answers · asked by Bastet's kitten 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Perhaps you are asking the wrong people you have all the right questions, but you should probably be saying this to her. You already have your answer she trusted you enough to tell you so she loves and knows you will not judge her by what she is. Just tell her about the same thing you told us. Example (you figure out how you will say it though) I would like to talk to you, Can you tell me why you think you are gay I just want to know. And no matter what your answer is I will still love you. Let her answer. Then when she's through whatever the answer is just be supportive and tell her that you don't change her or how she thinks but this is what you think and tell her the truth about what you think. Have a good talk things will still be the same when you are done and you should probably tell her this was a good talk we should have more sometime and give her a hug. And that is how I see it.
2006-10-07 17:14:20 · answer #1 · answered by rahlyd swamp muffin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very possible it's NOT a phase. I knew I was gay before the age of 13 and I'm in my mid-30s now!! I never once went for a man. My point is, the only talk you need is the one where you tell her you love her as-is and you want her to be happy, and she doesn't need a man in order to achieve that no matter what others may tell her. Tell her not to fight or repress herself, and don't let anybody tell her she's wrong or going to hell or it's just a phase before she discovers boys. If she says she's a lesbian, then leave it alone. Don't call her bisexual and don't assume it's a phase. Let her be herself and love who she is.
2006-10-07 16:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm, it particularly is exceedingly confusing. i'm 15 years previous and on the instant so my suggestion would possibly not be that lots of help yet i will try. in my opinion i don't think of it to be a experimental degree on account that i think that human beings who're gay are born with that sexual orientation. yet she must be in a difficulty the place she would experience some appeal to women, IF she replaced into on the instant. yet you're saying she is gay. i might say be supportive of her being gay and don't possibly complication too lots approximately it. i'm particular she's a clever female and could understand you will possibly continuously love her. If i had a newborn who replaced into gay and informed me so i think of that i might sweetly say that it is totally properly and no remember what his or her intercourse selection replaced into i might particularly like her or him each and every of a similar no remember what. only asserting which you adore her is stable sufficient. and if she does say in a while in existence that she's definitely on the instant and not gay i in my opinion might in all possibility say "ok. It particularly does not remember using fact i admire you the two way." Like I mentioned, only tell her you adore her lots and only instruction manual her by existence as though she have been on the instant using fact there is not any distinction between guiding a on the instant newborn or a gay newborn. desire that enables. :3
2016-10-19 00:19:38 · answer #3 · answered by turrill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister is gay and she waited until she was in her late twenty's to come forth with it, even though we already knew it. As hard or as easy it is to accept your god-child's sexuality, you must remember her feelings. Be glad she is comfortable in herself enough to where she can be herself in front of everyone. A phase or not, that's just something she has to figure out for herself. Whether she decides to be gay or change her mind should not affect how you feel about her and I certainly wouldn't push her to go one way or the other. Doing this could cause her to shut you out and I know you don't want that. She is only 13, and has a long way to go, so just be there for her and support what SHE decides to do. It's funny how things have a way of working themselves out.
2006-10-07 17:21:42 · answer #4 · answered by Fuel632 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't she at a time when most adolescents are forming the strongest bonds with friends of their own sex? And my experience is that many girls about that age experiment with sexual sensations with each other.
So it may be an experimental phase. It's not something to make a big deal about. I have taught eighth graders, and they are the great masters of Pronouncements about Life.
"I'm going to be a general in the army."
"I'm bleeding to death!"
"I have ruined my life!" (About a 'D+' on a social studies test.)
...and so on. So I think it's a bit too soon to tell. Let her talk it out, and be careful about encouraging her to think either way.
2006-10-07 17:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by aviophage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a Christian, I'll spare you what you expect, and just because I'm a Christian, I'm not a Nazi, a party in which I deeply disagree. However, I do believe that we are each to love from our soul and that you should probably not encourage or discourage at this time, but that you should reassure her, that whatever choices she makes in life, she has YOUR unconditional love. That's ultimately what she's seeking from you in sharing with you a choice she believes she has made at the age of 13.
2006-10-07 17:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by dph_40 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you can be supportive of your god daughters decisions, but she is only 13...so why are you letting her go out and experiment...shes 13 and just a kid.
2006-10-07 17:10:45 · answer #7 · answered by pritty_princess_c 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are worrying too much. She just told you. Leave it rest for a while. You'll know what to say if/when the time comes for direction. Just stay cool .. and her friend. Good Luck! :)
2006-10-07 16:59:29 · answer #8 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't expect here to make a decision yet. Just let her know your there for her.
2006-10-07 17:04:05 · answer #9 · answered by hopeless 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing about it right now. She's 13. Tell her no matter who she loves you'll love her as you always have.
2006-10-07 17:01:20 · answer #10 · answered by JiveTurkey 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋