I have always thought it would be awesome to have a gay kid, and now I have a gay god-child. My question is, how do I help and guide her without giving her the impression that if she decides to like men later on, it would disappoint me? I don't want to have such a reaction that she feels that she has to stay gay to keep me loving her. Do you know what I mean?
Besides, since she is 13, this may just be an experimental phase. Or, this may not. Who knows? I just want to be as supportive and involved as I can. Any suggestions? BTW, I am straight, and my household is Pagan (I live with my god-daughter's parents. We pooled our resources and got a house.)
And, no input from the Bible-thumping Chrisitan Nazis who encourage individuality through conformity. You're going to heaven, no one else is, yada yada yada. We're all very happy for you. Now shut up.
2006-10-07 16:52:37 · 14 answers · asked by Bastet's kitten 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Simple. You obviously have a very good and open relationship with your god-daughter, so what I suggest is to sit down with her and explain to her how YOU feel. Tell her that if it's a phase she's going through it doesn't matter if she starts liking men instead. And make it clear to her that no matter what she does you will always love her. Hope I could help and good luck!
2006-10-07 16:57:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm, that is pretty difficult. I'm 15 years old and straight so my suggestion might not be that much of help but I'll try. Personally I don't think it to be a experimental stage since I believe that people who are homosexual are born with that sexual orientation. But she could be in a situation where she may feel some attraction to girls, IF she was straight.
But you say she is gay. I would say be supportive of her being gay and don't really worry too much about it. I'm sure she's a smart girl and will know you would always love her. If i had a child who was gay and told me so I think that I would sweetly say that it's alright and no matter what his or her sex preference was I would love him or her all the same no matter what. Just saying that you love her is good enough. and if she does say later on in life that she's actually straight and not gay I personally would probably say "Ok. It really doesn't matter because I love you either way." Like I said, just tell her you love her a lot and just guide her through life as if she were straight because there is no difference between guiding a straight child or a gay child.
Hope that helps. :3
2006-10-07 17:01:43 · answer #2 · answered by Haruka-chan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she know you'd love to have gay kid before she told you? That could be one of the few reasons, if any, why she may have said that esp.if she looks up to and adores you. I think that you are available for her and that she feels comfortable enough to confide in you at such a young age is a testament to how supportive you are. She'll figure it out as she grows. I would just keep any judgmental or negative comments one way or the other out of conversations. We don't, or can't for long, go against our primal natures--if she is straight teenage hormones will make that evident. And if not, teaching her self worth and confidence never hurt...
2006-10-07 17:03:40 · answer #3 · answered by devilmaycare 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'll love her no matter what. She's only 13 and really is just exploring. She could even be exploring YOUR reaction since you're a close relative. Chill either way -- if you make a big deal about it she could over think it. Giggle with her and tease her about boys AND girls that come around and a few years from now you'll laugh at yourself that you were so worried :P
2006-10-07 16:57:52 · answer #4 · answered by PinkPrincessNerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a lesbian myself, im sure its not a phase you know at an early age if your Gay. Specially if she's willing to come out so young. just be supportive in any way you can, that is the best thing, that way she will always feel she can come to with advice when she needs it, she's lucky to have someone as supportive as you.
2006-10-07 16:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by jbabybulldog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you that this may just be experimental. i personally think that at 13 she may be to young to kno what she wants, but if she does, good for her, either way she goes. I'm not really sure about guidance but im sure there are hotlines you can call. good luck i guess?
oh yeah, im a 15 year old girl, and i know straight and gay kids of both sexes my age.
2006-10-07 16:57:10 · answer #6 · answered by whoops :) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she is 13, there is a chance she could change her sexuality. If it were me, I would explain that love is all that counts . So gay or straight or bisexual, finding love is the only thing that should matter. I know it sounds korny, but I think that would be a good start.
2006-10-07 17:03:41 · answer #7 · answered by wilsonfromthefrew 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it hard to believe that a 13 yr old girl can be so set in her ways that she can determine that she is Gay. She's had little or no experience with men yet...........
2006-10-07 16:56:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most teens have lots of confusion about their gender identity. I think that 13 is too young to know for sure. Tell her to give it time.
2006-10-07 16:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just support her in life as you already doing. Surely it would be awesome to have a healthy happy kid whatever their choices in relationships
2006-10-07 17:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by devils advocate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋