I ahve been seeing a man who I love very much but have to say goodbye until he figures out what he wants in his life. I am having trouble letting go. I know it is the right thing to do, but my heart doesn't want to accept it. Any ideas?
2006-10-07 16:34:36 · 12 answers · asked by Stephani 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am so very sorry. The first thing you must accept is that he may decide not to include you in his life. This happened to me long ago, and it hurt so very much. I think the direct approach is the best and only way to handle this. Tell him you love him with all your heart but you don't think it is fair to stay in a relationship without any definate direction. Ask him if he can see himself in a truly long term relationship with you. Ask him to be honest with you because trying to spare your feelings will only hurt you more. Tell him you need some time to yourself to decide how you feel about the long term as well. Don't try to give him an ultimatum. Tell him if he finds out he misses you so much and realizes he loves you then let you know and hopefully by then you will have had time to search your own heart and mind. Be honest and open. Make sure he knows you are not trying to force him into a committment. Do tell him you think your heart might be a little more involved than his and you have to pull back until you know and he knows for sure.
I will truly be praying for you. I could almost feel the pain in your question;. I hope for the best. I hope and pray it works out for the two of you. However, remember this, I thought I would die of my broken heart for a long time. Instead later on I met my husband. We've been married for 20 years and yes we've had our problems. As a matter of fact we're on an icy patch right now. But we both know it will pass because we will hold on to each other and our love until it does. Come to think about it the longest we've been really and truly angry and disgusted with each other is about 3 months at any one time.
May God bless both of you. May your hearts beat as one. And always remember, if they cannot beat in rythym, God has someone out there who's heart is already in tune with yours. Please let me know how things work out. You can E-mail me at fatmamais50@yahoo.com if you ever need to "talk" to someone who's been there, done that.
2006-10-07 17:06:27 · answer #1 · answered by fishergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the words, goodbye, indicate a situation riddled with impending pain and loss. Even if both parties involved agree it is in their best interests to part romantic ways, there is still a certain amount of loss attached. The best way to approach a break up is to offer the person, to the best of your ability, a clean and clear separation. While there is no definitive way to do this, hear are a few guidelines that may help you.Don't let them wonder what went wrong. Give them the exact specific reason why you want to break up. It will give them an opportunity to really evaluate what they've done to contribute to the demise of the relationship, and hopefully apply their knowledge to their next one.If you think they will be terribly upset, try a public place that will afford you some privacy, but will deter your partner from possibly "acting up." If at all possible, try to do it some place you can be alone to really talk things through. Avoid places that contain happy memories from your relationship. You don't want to spoil them.you also want to make sure you are not damaging their ego either. Make it clear to them that the relationship isn't working for you both because you expect different things from the relationship, or that you've reached a line that you don't feel you can cross back over. Take extra care in your choice of wording, but never lie.Your first meetings after a break up can be strained, at best. If you don't feel you'll be comfortable being around them until your emotions are more under control, try a cold turkey break up. Agree neither of you will have contact with each other for an agreed amount of time. Make sure you agree on the set amount of time during the break up process, or the ideal of remaining friends after may diminish.Remember, no matter how you do it, or what you say, if you are completely honest with yourself and your partner you both will be able to move on and grow from your experience. Like the common phrase says, "If it was meant to be, it will be.I wish you all the luck in the world...keep your head high and follow your heart
2006-10-08 00:20:34 · answer #2 · answered by rebelicious_angel228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in that situation now and it hurts. I just have to get a hold of myself and leave him alone. I mean, do I really want him to come to me under the conditions he is facing now. No, I want to start our relationship off on a positive note so that it's not doomed from the beginning or so that I'm not ashamed later down the road.
2006-10-07 23:43:38 · answer #3 · answered by ?? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i understand how you feel cause i've been through as well and until today the parting moments seems so fresh in my head still but i'm no longer hurting cause i allowed Jesus to heal my broken heart cause time would not be able to heal and as i say until today it's still fresh in my head cause i'm just human not a computer that would be able to wipe off everything but life will continue to be better if we take our courage to go through it and allowing Him to help us through will make it easier for us.
2006-10-11 22:53:54 · answer #4 · answered by - 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you there is no real easy way to accept this. My partner of 16 years just ended it because of his mid-life crisis...that was 8 months ago and I am still struggling.
2006-10-07 23:45:37 · answer #5 · answered by Michael R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Me 2 , I am going thru it as well , just wait , time will let it pass away , it will hurt like hell cuz i am hurting but it will be ok
2006-10-07 23:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Army Wife ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about yourself and picture your life besides someone you don't feel good with. tell him you want to be happy and besides him you won't.It's not fair to be with someone who doesn't know what he wants. you do and there you go.
2006-10-07 23:44:16 · answer #7 · answered by nenena 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that this guy is selfish. He has wasted ur time!!
It's time for you to move on to something much better!! If You Love yourself, have respect for urself, than u you can get rid of this guy!!!!!
Roll up your sleeves and "Just do it".
2006-10-07 23:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa L 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Thats good you realize this, and give it some time.
2006-10-07 23:37:22 · answer #9 · answered by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just do it. The longer you dwell on it & worry over it the harder it's going to be to do it.
2006-10-07 23:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋