The other day we had a phone call from the ex's daughter (non biological of my husbands) 10 years old asking if we could pay mommy the money we owe her now instead of 2 weeks when its due for the support of his biological child with the ex. She said mommy told her she could not sign up for dance lessons unless she got the support money and to call and ask for it.
2006-10-07 16:28:52 · 11 answers · asked by firefighter 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is by far one of the worst things divorced parents can do to a child. I think it shows the lack of concern for the child's upbringing and teaches them the awful repercussions of divorce, along with driving the CHILD'S self esteem to an all time low. The child probably already is traumatized by the divorce and now has to handle the financial situations of the mother? Why is a non-biological father paying support? Where is the biological father? She needs to track the real father down or get on welfare and learn a skill to get herself to where she doesn't have to depend on a man, ESPECIALLY a non-biological father to pay her way! PERIOD! I would tell the mother that you are going to discuss this with your attorney and have some kind of cease and desist order for that kind abuse for making the child suffer the consequences of being forced in the middle of this horrible situation. Hopefully, it won't happen again...but, I doubt it. I hope your husband is a kind man and can handle the child in a manner that doesn't disturb her anymore than has already been done to her. Good luck and God bless! Please let me know in an email. I had something similar happen to me when my son was living with his father.
2006-10-07 16:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish Dr. Phil could get hold of that mommy. You never ask a child to do an adult's work. To put a guilt trip on that child making her think that she couldn't pay for dance lessons until the child got the money from you is unforgiveable. Is the ex paying support for non biological daugter.? If you support this child also and If the child needs the money for dance lessons.. why don't you just pay for them ..directly to the dance teacher,,subtract that from payment. If you do not support the non biological child , why is she using that money for her??
2006-10-07 16:46:00 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ex needs to not involve the child--which we all know. No one gets rich off of child support. My husband paid it for 15 years -- is the mom's budget that tight? Pay for the dance class--give an act of peace. Or offer to split the cost of the class. If the ex can't afford the class you need to decide if it's important to your child--should you pay it? Or can you daughter find another activity that isn't so expensive? All little girls love dance--but sometimes other choices have to be made. We had an ex wife from Psycho land--but we gave her grace and said our prayers--worked on communciation and after 5-6 years it did get better. Being a single parent is expensive but if you pay for the dance class it's for your daughter--and that's all that matters. Good Luck !
2006-10-07 16:36:22 · answer #3 · answered by Marci F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a false ground. but if it is due after 2 weeks - there is no harm at all paying it now. make it clear in a letter that payment was effected earlier only because teh 10 year old called and requested, and that no obligations of any kind are contracted on that account. Also state that the child should not have been involved in this.
2006-10-07 16:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by HMG M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hell no. Your husband needs to call his ex and chew her *** out. A CHILD does not need to know the financial situation of their parents (biological or not). My brother-in-law has two kids from his first marriage and they both know how much the rent is and how much the gymnastics lessons are because his ex-wife complains about not having any money. I think that a child should be a child and should not have to worry about money. Good Luck!
2006-10-07 16:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I would document this and future events, it may be possible at some point to get custody of your children if she keeps using them as "pawns" in a mental chess game.
Head games with kids is a sick thing to do. I always told my daughters that I didn't hate their mom, (even when she pulled some bad crap), I hated some of the decisions she made.
Whatever you decided to do, take the high road, someday the kids won't be kids anymore and they will realize how they were used.
2006-10-07 16:34:35 · answer #6 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in all possibility reason he the two has plans sooner or later to take the babies ( attempting to locate or hear some thing he feels is misguided), or it is his way of becoming himself experience he's on top of issues!! You ripped that from him with the restraining order. Too undesirable he's composed of the babies together with his insecurities.
2016-10-19 00:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOW strange is this who is the child.mom, dad let your child have a life with out the drama.if nothing Else she need to understand that y'all had the problem not her SE is not the go between.that is not a good place for her,keep her in what she like make it happen.and remember its all about the kids
2006-10-07 16:42:34 · answer #8 · answered by lydia r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is totally wrong I would be so upset if this happened. What happened between them is betwen them not the kids. The kids should not have to worry about where the money comes from.
2006-10-07 16:32:51 · answer #9 · answered by fa0099 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd of told her to put her mom on the phone right now! Her mother would not like what I had to say.
2006-10-07 17:19:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋