I RSVP'd that we would not be able attend. The excuse I gave was because I had to work, this was a lie. I did not want to go because of the way they are treating their dad. I did not however want to tell them that, as I find it inappropriate to turn their wedding into a debate ground. Do you feel I was wrong to not attend?
This is a pretty close cousin, and normally I would have been thrilled to attend the wedding.
2006-10-07 16:12:54 · 30 answers · asked by ? 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
LOL...sorry the father is gay
2006-10-07 16:16:14 · update #1
He can invite who ever he wants - its sad.
I think you handled the situation very well.
2006-10-07 16:18:09 · answer #1 · answered by Just ME 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You know, you stood up for what you thought was right. By not attending, you show that you believe in a world that allows people to love by choice, not by the choice of state or religion.
Also, if you 'might' have commented on the way they treat their gay father at their wedding, then you do respect them also by refusing to turn their wedding into a debate ground.
It sucks to miss a wedding because of this sort of thing, but it happens all the time.
Someday well after the honeymoon over and the wedding photos (sadly, minus the dad who's only 'offense' is to love a man) are put away, maybe take a quiet moment to tell them the truth- both that you did not come because you don't like how they treat their dad, AND that you didn't want to disturb their wedding.
Peace
2006-10-07 20:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. Max 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to stage a political protest by not attending, I think it is only fair to tell your cousin the real reason you aren't there. As for whether you go or not, that's gonna be up to you. If you feel like you couldn't enjoy the wedding without your uncle and would just bring everyone down, it's probably best that you don't attend. But, if you are close to your cousin and want to go, then go. After all, it is your cousin's day and he's entitled to invite or not invite whoever he wants. Although you didn't say it, it also sounds like this may have been a relatively recent revelation. Your cousin might not have invited his dad because he was afraid having him there would stir up even more conflict. My own father is gay, and although my family has taken it in stride (and it horrifies me to think that someone wouldn't invite their dad to their wedding because of his sexuality), I can easily see how this might make family gatherings awkward for many people. As far as the wedding goes though, I think it really boils down to whether or not you want to take sides in this conflict. I wouldn't blame you if you did, but you certainly don't have to.
2006-10-07 16:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing by not attending the wedding, but I personally would have told the cousin why I would not be goiing.
That was pretty low for your cousin not to invite his own father to the wedding. My guess is that the kid's mother had a big say in that.
2006-10-07 19:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should attend. You cannot correct a mistake with another mistake. You have been properly invited to the wedding and you should reciprocate by going there. The non-invitation by your cousin of his father is another matter altogether. If you hope to still become a positive influence to your cousin in the future you should begin by being present in the very important occasion in his life. Be a model for proper conduct. This carries more persuasive power than the soundest debate or argumentation can bring.
2006-10-07 16:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I do not think that it is wrong of you not to attend the wedding, but I do think that it is wrong that you lied to your cousin about the reason. You should have been straight forward about it, cause a debate if that is what is called for in this situation. Your cousin will still have no idea why you arent going..they will assume that you are not lieing and actually have to work. That changes nothing.
2006-10-07 16:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong to refuse to attend due to the treatment of the gay father, but you are wrong to lie about it.
This man's father already knows his son's feelings, and while really a shame (because the groom cannot ever change what he's doing and he will one day grow up and regret it), it is his wedding and he can do what he wants.
2006-10-08 03:26:51 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello!! :o) There could be a LOT more to it than the fact that his father is gay. Maybe his dad is a creep. Not all gay people are wonderful. Regardless - your cousin has every right to invite [or NOT to invite] whoever he wants. As for you deciding not to go - that's your 'right' too. And I pat you on the back for taking the high road and not turning your cousins wedding into your soap box. [Plenty of time for that later - if you so choose to bring it up] Craig!! :o)
2006-10-07 22:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a line that must be drawn in the sand...and you have drawn it..stick by it. The way the father is being treated is abominable! Karma is a wonderful thing when correctly handled, but a horrible thing when it is wronged...payback is about 10 fold..and I feel sorry for your cousin, he will pay for the rest of his life. And he deserves it. Good luck. IF your cousin asks, tell him/her the truth. You cannot condone the treatment of the father, period. I couldn't either, and I certainly would not attend such an event.
2006-10-07 16:34:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should make your own decisions, but if you dont go then you should tell your cousin the true reason for not attending. I think your cousin is a f**ked in the head person, your uncle is still his father and he wouldnt be getting married if it wasnt for his daddy. Oh well it takes all kind to make this world, one hopes Daddy wins big mobs in lotto and tells his son sorry I marring my B/F and your not getting any.
2006-10-08 04:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How your cousin is treating his father has nothing to do with you attending the wedding. If you normally would have been thrilled to attend, then that was your lose.
2006-10-07 16:18:08 · answer #11 · answered by Tammy M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋