My Mom does one thing but says another..........????

Question

K I'm so goth and a cult member and my Mom is Jewish and she always call goths evil devil worshipping freaks. But she knows I am (not just cuz I wear all black and "weird" makeup) but I'm a cult inaway but she never tries to change me she only insults me and says I need to change but never asks me where I go, why I'm late for curfew (12 mid night is my curfew), she always cover up for me at school, let's my bf stay the night I'm not complaining but I don't get it. What should I do except for change cuz that's not a option. It's like she wants me to be someone else then who I really am.

the question is what the heck she wants me to do. she keeps changing it's like do what you want and then when I get back she calls me and friends freaks I'm trying to understand what she wants. Basicly my qustion is what she wants she know it's not just a fad she's only told me a hundred life and there's adifference between the goth look and actually being gothic I'm actually gothic. Can't give u specs but u'll just have to try and imagine

the question is what the heck she wants me to do. she keeps changing it's like do what you want and then when I get back she calls me and friends freaks I'm trying to understand what she wants. Basicly my qustion is what she wants she know it's not just a fad she's only told me a hundred life and there's adifference between the goth look and actually being gothic I'm actually gothic. Can't give u specs but u'll just have to try and imagine

I'm 13 for whoever just asked or is curious no we don't sleep in seperate bedroom we sleep in the same bed lol that would be weird.

not me and my Mom but me and my bf Gerlad my Mom sleeps in the upstairs room.

Answer 1

Be patient with your Mom. She might be receiving pressure from other sources (job, health, ect.) and be taking it out unconsciously on you. Besides, you're thirteen and you said you're in a cult. What's she supposed to think?

Answer 2

Well to me it sounds like she can't accept your individuality, but she needs to be more informed as to who you are with, where you hang out and who your friends are. Both of you need to be more concerned with you being in school, you can't get too far without education thses days. So if you want to live a good life in the future get your education or else you will be in the lowest income class of people for the rest of your life. Last question... how old are you...the BF doesn't need to be staying all night at your house unless it is strictly seperate bedrooms at night. The age also could change your curfew during school nights. A friendly word of advice.......pay attention to that little voice in the back of your head if it urges you to do something it is almost always right, and it could keep you out of trouble. You really need to sit down with your mother and tell her how you feel if this bothers you this bad, you sound like you want your mom to be more involved in your life. Respect her feelings even if she doesn't agree with you.

Answer 3

Actually I doubt very much if you are "goth". Most REAL Goth's are Wiccans or Pagans and those are both religions not "cults" What you are is a wannabe at best, acting like other's in your "group"/"cult". I would assume that your mother wants you to be more of an individual rather than a lemming/parrot, who does and says all of the same things her peers say and do. IF you were truly "Goth" you'd be more of an individualist than a follower.

Answer 4

I think your mom is getting tired of fighting with you. There comes a time when we just have to walk away. Your Goth look is a fad and she knows it. She can continue to alienate you or wait until you grow up into an adult, I think she prefers to wait. Sometimes things like this are hard for us to handle and we just don't care anymore. Why don't you try cooperating with her more and get along? That's my advice to you...or go out on your own!

Answer 5

I'm so sorry but your mother is trying to a 'friend' and then once in a while she is being a mom and thinking about trying to get you to listen, neither is working.

Your 13 and sleeping with a boy in your mother's house- doesn't say alot about her caring about you very much. Instead of allowing you to be a kid you are already playing in the adult world and risking adult choices and consequences and that is kind of sad in its own way. You only get one chance at being a kid in life, I wish to heck I had enjoyed mine and not grown up so fast but you only figure that out when it is too late.

I think by posting here you are a good kid who wants to make her mom happy but because she doesn't act like a mom you are lost a bit. By lecturing you and trying to get you to act like a kid but then allow you to do adult things she does send mixed messages and you are right to be confused and you should be a little mad too. It is not your job to figure this stuff out it's hers.

If you will listen for a minute I'd like to give you some good parental mom advice. Take it or leave it but at least think about some of it. First being 'goth' is just fine- you are a kid afterall and how you dress is as idvidual as kids will get. Do show some idea of good judgement and dress more appropriate and 'normal' but find a way to still make it you when you have to go to public functions or big family get togethers like at holidays. Not only will you get less harrasment but it shows you care how people think about your parents and family. By dressing a bit more toned down for bigger things you show you understand the importance of public perceptions and appearance but yeah it is ok to not look all girly and dressy which would be out of your personality type. Just try for a more casual normal look and find small ways to show your style like nicer pants/skirt and a shirt but wear awesome cool goth shoes or some jewelry that doesn't scream goth but let's people know subtly.
Second think about not sleeping with the BF in your house, for your age it is just bad news and sets a bad precedent. Thought it is never fair people talk and people judge and your neighbors and such do know you are 13 and mom and dad allow this boy to spend the night and well that sort of thing can take its toll on how people will treat you now and later. I'm not saying stop having sex that would be pointless but think about how many people need to know you are having sex and with whom. Just be discreet about your personal activities. And please do get protection and use more then one- I have kids and each one concieved while using different types of birth control- one the pill, one a condom, the last Depo shot so nothing is perfect.
Last but not least curfew and stuff, midnight is very late. Most places have a curfew of 9 pm for kids under 18, you get hassled by the cops and your mom will get a ticket possibly for letting you be out late. Not every place enforces this but something you should be aware of. If you are out hanging out with friends and stuff that late you are not getting enough sleep, you probably aren't spending enough time studing even if your grades are good and you are missing out again on being a kid. Obviously you want freedom as a teen but living a 20 something life with a 13 yr old body and mind is putting you at risk for getting into trouble you shouldn't need to deal with. Drugs- accidents- not so nice people who can't wait to take advantage of some young kids whose parents are not watching. You may get through these teen years without a problem and never find yourself in a jam or hurt or scared but in the end if you are home by 9pm most nights you are far less likely to ever have it happen. Plus you may actually find your mom has more of a chance to be a mom and have some real time to spend with you.

I wish you the best of luck getting through school and these years. You obviously do not have it easy nor do you seem to have enough direction to ensure you have the best chance to make good choices that will make you a successful and happy adult with a good future but more then one stubborn teen has beaten the odds and I sincerly hope you will be another.

Answer 6

Sounds like you should reword your question cause I do not understand where the problem is......You walk over your mom and use her as you like is what I got out of it............Sounds like you are selfish and immature

Answer 7

geez u should b happy shes not asking for u all the time and crap, like shes a teenage dream mum, just stay the way u r then.

Answer 8

they always do.