My best friend of 18yrs got married just 4 months ago.We are like buddies.Unfortuntely, she 's been having an affair with a guy who actually leaves near my place.I dont think she knows cos she constantly appears in/out of the guy's apt.I even saw she stayed at his place when my buddy was on overseas assignment.
I intend to tell my buddy but I was afraid it might breaks his family up especially they have a baby boy.
2006-10-07 15:46:08 · 43 answers · asked by chasen54 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's a shot gun marriage.
2006-10-07 15:49:22 · update #1
SOME ON U INSIST I LOOK AWAY. I ST & FOREMOST I DONT INTEND TO BE NOSY.MY BUDDY IS AN ORPHAN & DOESN"T HV MANY FRIENDS.HE IS A GOOD MAN WHO ALWAYS WANT TO PROVIDE THE BEST FOR HIS FAMILY.
2006-10-07 15:58:10 · update #2
I vote for you to tell him, but you better have your facts straight. Most likely, he will not believe you at first, so you better have facts or pictures to back it up. Of course it might break up his family...but that is HIS decision to make. If you're his friend, don't let her continue to make a fool of him and disrespect him. He will never forgive you.
2006-10-07 15:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um i cant tell anyone what to do but i will say this- You got a hard decision take this into consideration, the fact that he knows, and doesnt want to accept it (it happens) and he knows doesnt want to be embarrassed that she is a hoa and he made her his wifey. If you decide to do this, i would take him out and just on the casual ask him do you ever think so n so would cheat on you? what would you do? not all the questions but get an idea or put an idea n his head. if he asks you what do you know i would say look im not one hundred percent sure but i will say this, ive seen her go to this house a few times, i dont know what the deal is and maybe you know what shes doing like its her friend or something, i just thought you should know just in case. This way whether he knows or not you are letting him know shes cheating and also giving him the opportunity to save face ( not b embarrassed because you give him the lead maybe you know and you havent seen anything )
2006-10-07 15:54:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know you hate that she's doing it but you need to stay out of it, for now. He won't appreciate that kind of news because it typically requires an action and that action really could be a divorce. On the other hand, she's engaging in at risk behavior. She could catch VD and pass it on to her husband. You don't really know what's going on when she closes the door, not actually. She could be playing Bunco all night for all you know but you have no proof of sexual infidelity. If you're close to the wife at all.......invite her to meet you for coffee. Spell out to her what you've seen, how it looks and what's at risk. Let her know that if what you suspect is true, she's putting the health of her husband far beneath her own selfish pursuit of pleasure via an extramarital affair and that if it continues, you will tell your friend what you have seen and let him draw the conclusions. Tell her that for now you're willing to value them as a family and honor them as a family even if she isn't willing to, but there will come a time when it won't be that way and you will let the cat out of the bag. That's fair enough. She might get sneakier about it or it might scare the bejeezus out of her and she'll stop altogether. Either way, a cheater nearly always gets caught and she doesn't sound any too smart so you can bank on your friend finding out for SURE if she keeps it up.
2006-10-07 15:55:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well look at it this way.. Would you want your Buddie to tell you if he knew your wife was cheating on you.. Personally speaking I would tell her first that you know what she is doing as you have seen her.. Put the onus on her and see what she does.. Tell her that if she doesn't tell your Buddie that you will.. Who knows maybe they have an "open" marriage and he knows?? I doubt it too but these days you never know..
All in all give her a chance to come clean.. that way they can seek counselling if not than for your friends sake.. he needs to know, she is just making him look like a fool..
Good luck
2006-10-07 15:54:35 · answer #4 · answered by fishin_girl72 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As a best friend, I would think this is a no brainer. what loyalty do you owe to her? She sure has no loyalty to YOUR best friend. If my best friend was played like that and I thought to mind my own business, Then I'm no friend.. because the life of my best friend IS my business .I would be a coward. BE a friend....think about it. coincidentially yours, Rat I really hope this guy turns out to be her brother, but either way, if you just turn and look the other way, then he never really had a friend in you anyhow.Yeah, the friendship is being tested.
2006-10-07 18:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by Raptor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since there are many unanswered questions here and you do not know everything that is going on.........stay out of it, pal. It could backfire on you and then you will have lost your friend for good. Leave it alone since the truth eventually comes out.....his marriage is none of your business.
2006-10-07 15:50:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him it is best for him and the baby, take pictures or video tape if necessary. i guarantee that since he is in the military he will get custody.the way i see it is like this she is cheating on him the baby is half him so in turn she is cheating on the baby as well.
make sure the cheating **** gets what she deserves.
be prepared for the repercussions of his hurt and anger,like many said. i know if my wife was cheating i would sure as hell like to know.for crying out loud he is serving his country and may get killed (i hope not) and this is the respect she is showing.
2006-10-07 16:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by cuervo25_1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you ever heard of aids, syphillys, herpes...? of course you should tell him. not only is there a moral issue here, but there is medical one too. who knows what she's bringing home to him. also, if he finds out you knew and said nothing, he's not going to think, gee, buddie, thanks for trying to keep my marriage together. he's gonna be very very very angry with you for letting her make him look so stupid in front of everyone. i've been there, in his shoes. it will ruin your friendship if you don't tell him. as far as breaking up the family goes, you don't shop for a new car if you're planning to keep the old one. i'm just saying...
2006-10-07 15:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by kajunprincezz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you imagine if he found out any other way and knew that his best friend knew all along what was going on and never told him? He would probably never speak to you again. You need to let him know what that skanky wife is doing behind his back.
2006-10-07 15:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by BAnne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell your friend. If you do tell him he will only think that you are jealous of him and trying to destroy the family. In today's age maybe a good video tape that I would show is wife and let her know that you know she is a tramp. I am putting it mildly. Give her a warning that you will tell him or even worse the tape of her coming and going out of this guys place. Let her end the relationship to your friend. it would be better that way.
2006-10-07 15:52:27 · answer #10 · answered by steve s 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋