I live with mom & take very good care of her. But I also have a disability; I fell off our roof 2 years ago & since then I have had nothing but problems with my back. (I broke 3 bones in my foot and broke my back also). That's where my problem comes in with the brother. He refuses to come over and "give me a hand" with stuff that NEEDS to be done. He also won't come to visit. According to him, "she's NOT a priority". Is it me, or is he just being a total jerk? He's suppose to be a devout Christian. But does not practice what he preaches. I tell mom everything he says, (about why he won't come over) and she's to the point of "disowning him". It's kinda sad because when she is gone, he's going to be riddled with guilt. He did the same thing to dad before he passed away. At that time I had my own house and had to care of my yard & shoveling, then I would go by mom & dad to do the same thing! I hope someone can give me some kind of advice. Thank you!!!!!
2006-10-07 15:34:18 · 8 answers · asked by serenitie51 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Call him a curse him out one good time, just loose your mind for a moment, and let him have it. I mean you call him everything under the sun and make him feel sorry for his self. You tell him thank you for being the lazy S.O.B. he's always been and when your mother is gone you tell him to save all his tears and don't cry for her cause he wasn't there for her when she was here and when she really needed him. You know a guilty conscience will make you rethink some things. Trust me girl, it works. And he'll come around.
2006-10-07 15:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by missmozee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear about your plight. Your brother is a shithead-plain and simple. You are not going to get him to come over by begging, pleading, or any other tactic. He has some issue with your mother, or within his own value system, that is driving him to put distance between him and her. Leave the issue alone. So, now back to square 1: you need to get in touch with the visiting nurses-it's usually run by the state, but the hospital should have information about it. You need some help, dear. Do not be too concerned about how your brother will feel after mom's gone-he can deal with that. Just know that you will have peace that you did all you could and you can live with yourself. Have you applied for social security or other social services that can assist you with getting the help you need? The help will not come knocking on your door, but it is there-you just gotta holler real loud!!
2006-10-07 15:42:48 · answer #2 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I don't think there is much chance of getting your brother to change. Especially if he was the same way with your father, and didn't learn any thing when he passed on. Does your brother have his own family to take care of? Or is he just into himself?
The only thing that might work is trying to make him feel guilty about not coming to see his mom or help with the chores that are really hard for you to do.
Good Luck.
2006-10-07 15:42:52 · answer #3 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ihave the same problem one is her favorite but has an older brother which in her eyes is just another person Tell your brother that you cant do the work any more that you need help or put yor mother in a retirement or nursing home that would settle but make sure your mother signs over her house to you or both because the place you put her will get all. talking exsperienced we had it it will get diry.
2006-10-07 15:49:19 · answer #4 · answered by captredeye@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my brother. He had an argument with Mom and they didn't make up until the day she died (really - about 6 hours before she passed). There is nothing you can do short of getting him so mad at you that he doesn't talk to you either. Good luck.
2006-10-07 15:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an OLD story baby!! I'll tell you what. This may sound harsh...but this brother of yours, will be the first one there with his hand out when {god forbid} your mom dies. Have your mom make a will!! Now!! Aside from that?? Write him off. You don't need his selfish, dumb ***. Shame on him!!
2006-10-07 15:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your brother has a right to make his own decisions concerning you and his mother. You can't force him to help out. That is his choice. I suggest that if you need help you hire someone to help, or put your mother in a nursing home where she can be cared for. You brother owes your mother and you nothing and visa versa.
2006-10-07 15:37:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
really sad story. take nursing home assistance and other humanitarian help. no way.
2006-10-07 15:39:37 · answer #8 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋