How long does it take to forgive a cheating spouse?

Answer 1

It depends on how sincere the cheater is in wanting the forgiveness from you. Also, how much do you really want to forgive them? It takes only the forgiver to forgive but if you are looking for reconciliation it takes both ends to meet in order to have true forgiveness in the marriage. Some people just can't make it while others ride it through. I think it depends on your faith and your love for one another. Saddens me to say but even people who love their spouse make mistakes. I have never cheated but I have seen it many times. Cheating on a regular basis should not be tolerated but in an instance people fall short and if we want perfect we need not look any further as it does not exist.

Answer 2

The forgiving comes quickly. You made that decision the first time you slept with your wife again after her affair. The FORGETTING is the impossible part.
It takes a few years and I don't think that the husband ever fully recovers from the betrayal. Try to keep in mind that there were problems in the marriage long before the affair ever took place. While that doesn't justify the infidelity it will enable you to see what progress you have since made after choosing to forgive.
Don't bring up the past and make sure that any habits or communications that enabled the affair aren't part of her life.
You have to start over again building a friendship and let it progress. If you find you truly can't do this then you are justified in ending the relationship. Good Luck.

Answer 3

It can take months or years to forgive your spouse. Not only will you have to forgive your spouse, they will have a lot of work to do in order to gain your trust again. That means spending more time at home to show that he isn't spending time with someone else and focus on your relationship. Marriage counsling would provide a neutral medium and can help speed the healing process if you're up to it. Keep an open mind and open heart. It is a terrible thing you are going through and it is great that you are willing to work through it with your spouse, they are very lucky to have you so devouted to your union after they had delt it such a blow. Good luck and give it all the time it needs.

Answer 4

Being cheated on feels like the end of the world...I mean it hurts really bad especially if you truly Love this person so it may be possible to forgive but its always there in our minds and hearts. My personal saying is.."Love,Hate,Happiness and Pain its all the Same!" Because once you've been cheated on you have Trust issues for a lifetime. but this is only my personal opinion.

Answer 5

First, it depends on how much willing you are to forgive, how generous you are as a person. Second, it depends on whether you are still together and the cheating continues or whether you've moved on to live your own separate lives. Third, it depends on how deep the wound inflicted is. The deeper it is, the longer it will take to heal - and this will affect your capacity to forgive. Fourth, it depends on whether you are trying ways to actively heal yourself and come to terms with the experience, meaning, therapy.

I say this because I got cheated and, I discovered it too late. The wife (then) refused to give it up. I spent months trying to salvage the marriage, then finally decided it was hopeless, then focused on healing myself (the depression is something, man!). When finally I recovered enough self-esteem to like myself again, I focused on the forgiveness.

She ended up marrying the guy. Then, after 7 long years, I finally found the inner strength to actually take the first move to befriend and forgive them. It took 7 years for me to gather enough inner strength to withstand the pain (whatever was left of it), the "insult" (as others would like to view it), and the seeming distaste of the whole thing - not easy to reach out to one who has betrayed you. Faith (and religion) helped. Christ died mainly because of betrayal - by Judas, by Peter (to some extent - remember the denial?), by the people ("Hallelujah" now, "Crucify Him!" next). It helped to realize that I was not alone. It helped to know that the desire, and the effort, to forgive, is noble.

Now we're friends. Best benefit? The kids (who are with her, and who also suffered through it all) are much better and more loving, and more emotionally stable.

Answer 6

That depends some what on the person, but more so on how often you have reminders of what happened. If you're able to move on and remove all reminders (such as evidence of how you found out), it'll be much easier to forgive and keep the forgiveness coming. If you keep the evidence around, you're bound to come across it again and it'll bring up the memories of when you first found out and you're back to square one.

The biggest time variable is of course... it'll take longer to forgive them if they keep cheating or if you know that they'll never stop.

It's easier to forgive if you can keep it out of the front of your mind (that is not the same as forgetting).

Answer 7

You can try and try. You might be able to forgive but I doubt it. You would be a better person than me. But if you do forgive, you will never forget. I am not even with my husband anymore and we do get along but I still, after 13 years, will never forget. Wish I could because now I have a very hard time trusting any man.

Answer 8

The spouse that was cheated on my forgive at any time, but forgiveness dosn't always equate to wanting to get back together. If I was cheated on I could never be with my husbnad again because it would always be on my mind that he would cheat on me again.

Answer 9

People cheat on a marriage for several reason's

Ask yourself why they are doing it. was they missing something you will not provide that they was looking for. Sometimes a couple is very affectionate an heavy with passion an after sometime the passion an affections leave, so the mate goes looking for it!

In my personal opinion women use sex to lure the man in, then when married they use sex as a behavior modification tool than a love for him. Know wonder that he might consider cheating.

Answer 10

My spouse cheated on me. I tried for a year to forgive. I started to. But I could never forget. We got divorced. I couldn't handle it. He wouldn't go to counseling. Maybe you and your spouse will. That's the best thing to do to start the healing process.
I hope it works out.