My husband needs his space and to get away and to go for a walk or rest. I never get to rest or get away even when I am sick. It was this way with my 1st husband too. And I work full time on top of being a mother, maid and wife. This isn't fair!
2006-10-07 15:02:39 · 13 answers · asked by rollinonvzdubs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men will always let you do it all if you let them get away with it. You need to talk to your husband and explain that you feel your division of rest vs. chore times are unbalanced and make up a task list, he can be allotted certain chores and so can you, and then at the end of the week you can evaluate if it's fair. If you don't ket them know you expect them to help then they won't volunteer it, but most men will be happy to help out if you let them know you you "need" them..it makes them feel important. The more you reiterate your need for equal time (not whine just squeak like the squeaky wheel) the more likely he is to notice and to help. In other words don't expect him to notice you need help and volunteer, that's only in the movies! Good luck.
2006-10-07 15:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by blondambition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure why this is happening to you besides that you allow it. My husband is very helpful, especially when I am sick! Don't allow him so much space, say.....going for a walk, Johnny, Susie get your shoes, Daddy is taking you on a walk.
On weekends, if my hubby goes out, to the store, etc. He ALWAYS takes one of our 2 little ones.
I do the majority of cleaning, but my hubby knows full well how to mop a floor, run the vacuum, and clean a toilet he messes up.
I bet you could benefit from seeing a counselor. I saw one last year and they have many great suggestions for dealing with the frustrations of life. If you work, you may have an EAP program (thru your or your hubby's work).
Good luck!
2006-10-07 22:08:13 · answer #2 · answered by Beth M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife spends most nights out with her friends while I'm at home with the kids - then she complains that I don't do enough housework. Yet somehow if I don't do the housework - it never gets done.
I work 10 hour days at my job while our 3 year old is left alone in the house while she sleeps.
That's not really an answer to your question - sorry - just trying to illustrate that not all men get to do "whatever they want."
Actually - maybe you and I should hook up.
2006-10-07 22:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by felonius_monkey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When were you advised that you are the live in maid, mother, and all the rest?. Did you agree to this ?, ask to see the contract. other wise take time for yourself and to hell with the rest of them let them fend for them selves
2006-10-07 22:06:40 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a very simple fix for this problem. Open your mouth and tell him N O! In other words: people treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Stop behaving like a door mat.
2006-10-07 22:06:25 · answer #5 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
explain to your husband that you want him to help you around the house thats what my husband does we work as a team on parenting and cleaning. that is the way it should be done and we both work demanding jobs with a five year old
2006-10-07 22:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
isn't fair? hell i thought this was just a fact of life! my man does nothing around the house eighter. but i guess he could complain too , i don't do the manly stuff around the house. like trash , remodeling and yard work! so i guess it all evens out around here! sence we both work full time jobs.
2006-10-07 22:13:20 · answer #7 · answered by kierstead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, apparently you are stuck in a pattern relationships, you keep finding the same kind of guy that don't like doing much..which you are starting to feel as ifyour doing all of the work.. if you can't beat him then join him.. buti'd tell him like it is: "do half of the work or get out"..
2006-10-07 22:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by chirpin' 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the reason why we are called SUPERWOMAN. Come to think of this, when you do something for someone, never ever think that you do it out of responsibility. but instead you do it out of LOVE.
Love is kind, patient, understanding,envy not, not highly minded,not easily angered, and think no evil. Love never fails.
2006-10-07 22:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why wont u talk to him??i think this would help a lot. tell him how u feel and what u like or not and listen whatever he is gonna say...conversation is the key
2006-10-07 22:10:23 · answer #10 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋