My dad might have cancer - my boyfriend doesn't realize the significance of this...?

Question

I found out today that my dad might have cancer. I am only 24. I had sent my boyfriend of 7 years a text message saying that my dad might have cancer. He called me back & asked when/how I found out. We really didn't talk about it past that b/c I didn't want to get emotional over the phone. He has called me a couple of times today to talk about other stuff, & I have been a little short/impatient with him b/c I am upset. I cancelled our date for tongiht. He is taking it all as me being angry at him. Why is he being so insensitive? No, I haven't told him yet how I feel - I usually prefer to deal with things like this on my own. No, he might not realize that if my dad is diagnosed, he will likely die - I can't talk to him about this right now, I'm too upset. At the end of our last conversation, he said "I'm just going to leave you alone for while" We hung up kind of abruptly. Yes, I'm making him read between the lines, which he is failing to do miserably..I'm just so depressed..

Answer 1

dump him

Answer 2

You poor thing!!!

Firstly, you cannot bottle up your emotions like that. By not talking, specially if he is your boyfriend. You should aim to get closer rather than withdraw feelings.

I think you should have told him what you just told us in this question. If you said all this to him politily, i think anyone would understand. Unless they have some mental problem.

I am very sorry about you father. I think best thing for you to do is, help him face anything. But i have something which many people might question as to how come i know this and others dont, altho im sure others do know this. Anyway, Cancer is a disease that occurs when your body goes into acidosis (towards acidity) and lack of essential vitamins. You probably will not find doctors telling you this, and thats because doctors are trained to know whats the cause, they just know how to diagnose and used the methods they were told for treatment. I suggest you tell your father to be positive, he needs to laugh, have fun, and seriously forget about cancer (there have been true stories that people diagnosed with cancer who recovered , even tho doctors gave up on them!!! Why? Because those people let it pass by them, they laughed, and laughed, they had fun, spend QUALITY time with LOVED ones, i am talking serious love and happyness). These things do happen, and im not trying to give you false hope here, i do not like putting salt on wounds you already have. But im telling you that there are things possible in this world, which we only block, by simply not believing in them.

Start to talk more openly to your bf. I dont even have a gf or anyone close in life to speak to openly, so consider yourself lukcy you have a choice. So use it, let your feelings flow, if he loves you, he will not complain about this stuff, and will try to understand you and help you! Any decent human would!!

Take care of yourself, its very hard going through something like this, even if its an IF. Help your dad, in everyway, keep him away from EVERY SINGLE KIND OF STRESS!!! This sometimes is enough to stop illnesses. I dont care what others say, this DOES WORK, and i am a firm believer of this, and no im not some mad guy on the internet, i do wanna help.
I do not advise he go to get radiation therapy, because people who even have a small amount of cancer, when treated, they usually get the cancer on OTHER parts of the body! This is known widely and doctors still do not get it. And radiation therapy will only stress him more, and that is not gonna help at all.

Happyness, love and laughter are such powerful forces on this planet, we humans have yet to understand the EXTENT of thier powers. We get so stuck up on logic, we fail to see the beauty of some amazing things in Life.

Keep your head up!! Smile! And i wish you the best of luck. Do not give up. Everything you will do, will come back to you and you will not regret it.

Answer 3

A lot of people don't understand when this happens, because they don't "want" to understand. This usually means "they" are afraid of the end result. Try not to be too hard on him, as he is probably one of those people. You "do" need a support system though, weather it is other family members or friends who will let you talk out your feelings, ect. Once you find out for certain, "then" ask your boyfriend to meet you somewhere so you may talk to him about this matter. In the meantime, as hard as it may be, talk to your Dad about how you feel, and ask him to tell "you" how "he" feels. Believe it or not, this is actually the very best support system you could have. I know, my best friend & husband died from cancer. But we talked about everything, and it really helped us both emotionally. I will pray for you to find the strength you'll need, and for your Dads well being. Good luck & God bless.

Answer 4

This is so scary... I feel so bad for you.
I can say we men can be very insensitive at times. But, my gut feeling on this one is that your boyfriend really doesn't know how this is effecting you. That is so strange that he'd act that way. (Maybe he's scared too, and just doesn't know what to say)
Personally, I'd have been right by your side the minute I heard.
Either way, you need someone who can stand beside you in your times of pain. No matter how this works out you need to take a really good look at your situation.

Answer 5

It sounds like he isn't insensitive, he just doesn't know what to say or do for you and this is normal for a guy. Until he's gone thru it with you, he won't know what he should and shouldn't do.
I think you answered it yourself when you say you're trying to make him read between the lines and this isn't fair to him, because he is just hearing anger and thinks you want him to go away
You will have to explain everything to him so he can understand. This will be good for you and for him, he will learn alot from it too. Try to not be angry and short with him, if he is the one you love, you need to be close to him not far away. Try to be with him alot during this time and have him go thru it with you.

Answer 6

Slow down as of now your not even sure but if he does that doesn't mean he will die the technology has come so far with this stuff there able to find it remove it and treat it. but I will pray for you. My mother had cancer (brain tumor) and was operated on and was fine it was a heart attack that killed her not the cancer! So dont worry wait till you find out more about it then fall to your knees and pray

Answer 7

He does not know what to say or do ,he tried to go about things in a diffrent way..Like if we don't talk about your dad or we act like it never happened everything is fine. I used to have a hard time opening up to my wife and sharring my feelings with her. She used to thing I didn't care..But I thought if i was tough enough for both of us ever thing would be ok..I have changed since then..Tell him your hurt and you need him by your side and if he cant thing move on..I've been married for 15 yrs and I'm 37..I've been down that path.

Answer 8

Um hello...he cares about you and how you are feeling and you are shutting him out. I would leave you alone for a long while. Screw you if you are a stupid freak! He needs to find someone that can deal with issues, not someone who climbs into a shell and wants the world to be perfect.

Answer 9

I think you should explain to him how you feel. I have suggestion. You need to have your father have his ph levels checked if he is highly acidic. You should get him to switch to more alkaline foods.
You can find out what are good foods (alkaline types by typing in alkaline foods and acidic foods in your computer.

Hope this helps you and your father. You still need to explain the situation to your boy friend

Answer 10

Think again about marrying such an insensitive man.

Answer 11

well look most guys are insensitive
look you have him for a reason
tell him how you feel and how this is upsetting you
if he truly does love you he will understand and be there for you
just talk to him and tell him how you feel
good luck
and god bless