I have been with this guy for 2 and a half years...we are both 19, we got an apartment together about a year ago. We have had a few break ups but none that lasted over 2 months. I am 8 and a half months pregnant and he broke up with me for good like 3 weeks ago, because i kept comlaining about him always partying and not being home with me , and just him hanging out with his friends in general. So now i am back home at my moms, i love him so much he is my first love, and i dont know how to live with out him, and be a good mom. I dont wanna be alone, and hes the only one i think i will ever love. What can i do to stop calling him and thinking about him, and going crazy over him. someone please help me, i am so hurt and i just want to be in his arms again, but he says thats not possible and he doesnt love me as much anymore, and we will never be together, i just dont know what to do with myself, or how to get over this, or if i will EVER get over th
2006-10-07 13:28:42 · 35 answers · asked by Alyssa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Believe it or not he did you a favor, honey. If he will leave you now at a time like this, then GOODBYE! There is someone who needs all your love right now: that precious little one coming in a few weeks. Try to remember that as you recover from heartbreak, that you will have good days and bad days. Why chase a man who doesn't want you honey. It is easier said than done but take your energy from him and aim it in the opposite direction. You need an accountability friend: whenever you pick up the phone to call him, call that friend instead! YOU WILL FIND A BETTER LOVE and love again, honey. You will get over it. Recite this to yourself several times a day and remember to love YOURSELF more than you love him. And love your BABY even more: "Look forward. Do NOT look back." Repeat and believe. God bless you.
2006-10-07 13:44:20 · answer #1 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The important thing is to remain calm.
He is just one guy of many. You can either hold your chin up and be strong, or, you can get him back. I would, personally, let him be as being single is so cool. But, I understand, for about the next 4 months your hormones will be on edge and you really want someone to share these memories. I hope you realize that he is the one missing something here, not you. Now, if you want to get him back, don't call him. When you have to call him, let him know how the doctor appointment went, by now you should be going once a week. If you get his machine, just leave a message. Act like you don't care. For some reason, if a person feels that you don't care, they decide to(care). Only call him if you have to. And don't let him keep you on the phone. Just, "Hey, it's me. Doc said everything looked good. I go back next week. If you want to be at the hospital when the baby comes, I won't fight you, It's your baby too. I can't talk, I have someone I have to meet." Then if he later ask who that was, just say it was your mom or someone who said they had something for the baby. I normally wouldn't condone mind games, but he is being an a**. So, have fun manipulating him. But, if for some reason you decide that you don't want to be with him, don't play with him. Guys are so weird sometimes. Good luck! And congrats on being a new mommy!
2006-10-07 13:57:33 · answer #2 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry! I feel for you! I have been in that very situation. I was 19 when I had my first son. His daddy was always wanting to party and spend time with his friends, and I would always get soooo upset! We fought a lot, and even broke up-more than once! We got back together, and have now been married for 14 years.
But, if I had to do it all over again, I would've gotten through the heartache and not gotten back together with him. It is hard and very scary to be on your own, pregnant and unsure of the future, but you don't want to be in an unhappy marriage with a guy that can't respect you either. I felt just like you feel. I was devastated, scared, lonely, and so so unsure of how I would manage. You can do it!! When that baby is born, you will be absolutely amazed at how strong you will become! Your world will revolve around that child, and you will do whatever it takes for him/her. Just be happy babe!!! Don't beg him to go back! Give yourself some time to know whether you want him because you really love him, or becasue you are scared of being alone. I promise you it will work out!! You will make it without him. You will learn that you don't have to settle for anything less than a man that will treat you like his Queen!!
It takes men a lot longer to grow up, but.......he won't learn to appreciate you and respect you if you allow him to treat you badly!
You will be ok--that is a promise! Be good to that baby, everything else will work itself out! Good luck!
2006-10-07 13:54:46 · answer #3 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll just have to start focusing on your new life and start preparing to be a MOM. Yes, it'll be hard. No doubt about it. I am guessing that all this playing house has been fun for the two of you. But now that you're pregnant he woke up and now sees the reality of it all and it probably freaked him out. Not only that but the two of you are very young. The guys he's hanging out with aren't in the same situation, so he's wanting the freedom his friends have. You've heard the saying.... the grass is greener on the other side. I would leave him be for awhile. Give him some space and some time to miss you too. Even if the two of you don't get back together, he is still obligated to financially support the baby. As in child support. So keep that in mind. Don't threaten him with it, but just know that he is. And take him to court if he doesn't. In the mean time, focus on getting ready for the baby you are about to bring into this world. And lean on your friends and family for emotional support. Keep yourself busy and whatever you do, don't sit and listen to sappy music. Listen to fun upbeat music to lift your spirit!
2006-10-07 13:40:59 · answer #4 · answered by fiestyredhead 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignore freaks like violet pearl - U DO NOT HAND YOUR CHILD OVER TO STRANGERS FOR ADOPTION JUST COZ YOU ANT GOT A MAN. Right, now get yourself together girl. Firstly, you're gonna have a baby and that is a major thing. you are responsible for this child's life and health and learning now...are you just gonna teach him or her tears and self pity or you gonnabe a strong woman and take care of your baby? secondly, if you really want this loser back then stop calling him and crying all the time coz that will make him run even further away from you. Men dont like needy crying women. He is more likely to come back if you leave him alone and get on with your own life independant of him. But then again, you cant make someone love you. He may come back to you, he may not but that aint your concern now. Be a woman and look after your baby and next time you have sex with no protection make sure it's with someone worthy and who wants the same things as you otherwise you are heading for heartbreak all over again
2006-10-07 23:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is difficult to be without him....You must have been really mean to him. It's not your fault you are pregnant... When I was your age and pregnant I felt the same way, but he just has not realized that you two will both have to settle down because of the baby....You need to get out on your own and handle your business with or without him....It is not good to bring a child up around fighting parents, so if he is not ready to be a father kick his butt to the curb...As for you, take care of what you have growing inside you to prepare for the future with or without his/her daddy...
There are many guys out there who would be willing to take care of you no matter what anyone says....Trust me there are some good guys out there in this world today believe it or not.....Now that you are pregnant, think about your baby's future....Think about what is right and if Daddy does not want to be with you oh well, move on...I promise you will find a more matured man when the time is right, but for now daddy is being very immature and not understanding....So keep your head up and be the ADULT and not the KID!!!
2006-10-07 14:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe that you expected him to be mature at 19. NOBODY is mature at 19. I bet he's ALWAYS partied like this and for some reason you thought that you could change him or he'd do it on his own. Right? Face it, he's still a kid and having pubes doesn't make you an adult. Hate to tell you this but you're screwed. You're life is now over because you'll be strapped down with a kid. No fun, no parties, no traveling, etc... etc... Everything you wanted to do, you now can't. Wow, what a great way to start your way off into adulthood.
You should've gotten abortion during the first month or so. Wait... please don't tell me that's it's (gasp) 'against your religion'! But... I guess that your religion also permits pre-martial sex. I'm sorry, what was I thinking? You're in LOVE! Good luck with your kid, and don't forget to get child-support.
2006-10-07 15:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about this. a lot of people believe that love is blind but I tell you that love is not blind but it's the lover who refuses and ignores the truth about his loved one. So he broke up with you, well count it a blessing, coz now you have all the chance to start all over again. With a happy go lucky guy who loves partying and neglects his responsibility as a father of your child, I don't think he deserved your love. lol. I understand how you feel. but look, take courage, learn to stand on your own two feet. Be strong and look at the positive side of your problem. Don't dwell in your past. Try to move on your life for the sake of your baby. Take good care of yourself and make every effort to support your child. You're still young and someday you might find the right man who will marry you. Don't waste your life on someone who doesn't know the meaning of committment. Turn to God for help and He will see you through.Anyone who hopes in the Lord will not be in vain.
2006-10-07 14:28:36 · answer #8 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex split on me when I was pregnant, and I got through it. I think your hormones aren't gonna help you if you're feeling depressed, so maybe go and talk to your doctor. Actually, DO go and talk to a doctor or get some counselling because it could spill over into Post Natal Depression. I sat in my house alone and didn't go out much and cried for 6 months - it wasn't good.
Also, make sure you go out and get some fresh air every day.
You know, you will be fine. You're stronger than you think. And when the baby is born you will have no end of unconditional love (cos that's what I get from my girl) Good luck {{{HUG}}}
2006-10-07 13:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!!, you have been through so much strife, and due to have a baby, you must be feeling terrible, Look sweetie, after you have this baby, i am sure things will be so much better for, he is not worthy of your love, or you, or even to be a father to your child, put your energy into looking after this child, all your love into this baby. You wont be alone, you will have a baby and your mom, and this child needs you, not a father who is always drinking and hanging around with his mates, sounds like he really needs to grow up. So good luck, and god bless, i sure hope that everything will turn out for the best for you and you baby.cheers
2006-10-07 17:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋