im i selfish? is it me?

Question

one of my best friends since high school , recently had a baby with his wife whom ive know for a long time. we use to go to concerts,camping baseball games and anti bush rallies....their always welcome here..since then, with baby in hand they come over during football games and all of a sudden i cant swear, be loud , my dog has to stay outside..in my house...i cant even play my led zeppelin loud....but thats ok..really ..what erks me is that they leave the damn poo-poo diapers in the bathroom.,in my bedroom jeez.along with that stinky baby *** talc all over the place...my house smells like that yard ape..more than their house...are they using my house as a dumping ground? should i not invite them....or am i being selfish

Answer 1

You are not being selfish by wanting your house to be normal. Ask them to put the dirty diapers in a plastic bag and throw them away outside. As far as the music, that's just because the baby needs things to be normal. If it bothers you that much, ask them not to come over.

Answer 2

No you are not being selfish! They are! It sounds to me as if they are the type of people that turn into complete idiots upon having a child. They become overly obsessed with everything concerned with the baby. They are not doing the baby any favors. It will soon turn into a spoiled brat with this type of behaviour from the parents.
I have known people like that and the outcome of their children was not pleasant. Not did it give them any joy. When you have a baby you should continue within reason to do things just they way you always did. The baby adjusts much better.
I have four grown kids and I raised them in a way that it worked out well for all involved. I didnt stop going to other friends homes and take the babies along. I never expected anyone to change the way they normally behaved and the kids grew up well adjusted.
Your friends are taking advantage and are being foolish in thinking that you should change your way of doing things now that they have a baby. You really need to tell them that you are not comfortable, being quiet and not being able to play your music at the volume you normally do. Also tell them as nicely as possible you don't appreciate diapers left all over the house. That is rude on thier part.
I know it is a touchy subject as you have been friends so long, but it seems something really needs to be pointed out to them. A baby should not be the end all of everything that was. They need to chill out and enjoy their baby instead of being over protective. Like I said they are not doing the kid any favors. Good luck in whatever you decide to do as far as talking to them.

Answer 3

I don't think you are being selfish at all. I can understand maybe the not swearing part or even the dog thing if it's a really new baby, but leaving their baby's soiled diapers and restricting you in your own house...it's your house. If they want to dictate the rules they need to go to their own home. I'd say only have them over if it's really what you want, but if not just take a break from them. Let them know that when it's your house they are going by your rules. Although it's not too out there for them to ask you not to swear around the baby, it isn't their house.

Answer 4

no you arent being selfish. They need to be more considerate about leaving their baby diapers behind that isnt nice! But also new parents are overprotective so I see their point about loud music and dog in the house. Just let them know to please not leave the diapers in your house, I dont see why they wouldnt understand. And maybe for now just get together when they have a sitter or something or until the baby gets a little bigger because for now, I think they will be this way for a while. Just try and compromise ;)

Answer 5

Oh you sweet thing! I can imagine what you are going through. All of a sudden, baby is number 1 even in your own home. But..rest assured...this WILL pass! Let them enjoy the first paranoid months as parents (actually it never really does go away entirely..). I did not let people touch my baby on the cheek without washing their hands first (that`s a common thing). Maybe they expect a little too much from you. I do think so. Their lives changed dramatically i think it IS unfair to expect yours to change as well. You need to sit down and have a NICE chat with them, and if they are really great friends, they will understand.
Good luck!!

Answer 6

These are your friends, you know them well. Do you think they would want to know if they were causing problems for you?

I agree with what a few people have said, when they come over, have some plastic bags for them to put the diapers in and ask them to toss them in the garbage can outside, please & thank you. And what the other person said regarding the talc, just say "hey, would you mind putting the baby on his/her blanket when you put on the talc?"

They are your friends, I am sure if they knew that they were causing you grief they would want to correct it. Don't you think?

Answer 7

I would say to talk to these people. If they're as good as friends as you think, they'll probably understand. Most likely, since they were used to being uber-comfortable at your home before, they don't realize what they are doing. I would politely as if they would just take the diapers to the outside trash can when they are over. Like I said, they may not realize what they are doing is rude, but hopefully with some talking, it'll work themselves out.

Answer 8

I'm a parent and I would never do such things to a friend. I can understand them not wanting you to be overly loud, but the dumping of diapers and leaving baby talc everywhere is poor etiquette. I think you're well within your rights to tell them that they are no longer welcome until they fix above noted issues.

Anyone with young babies should know how to properly dispose of diapers.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

Oh my goodness.. I know what you mean! They arent doing it on purpose, believe me, but people with children need to have some consideration. I dont think they realize how nasty diapers are to people with non-baby houses. Just ask them nicely to tie the diaper up in a plastic bag before throwing it out.

Answer 10

It's pretty rude for them to leave the diapers out like that. If they want to come to your house they should respect that it's your home. You're not selfish, but maybe don't invite them over for a while. Take a break.