,my husband never think that what is he doing to our relationship he fights and he never even think i have been with through his thik and thin.We is a addict and was into brown and i sood by him in his useing days. But life does not seem to in his clean days also he still does not care about me insults me hits me what am i suppose to do as i have a daughter and i can not spoil this relation
2006-10-07 12:46:52 · 13 answers · asked by pooja o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ditch his *** and take your daughter out of this abusive relationship!
2006-10-07 12:52:55 · answer #1 · answered by Tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship is spoiled, you are just choosing to remain in the spoils as it decays which will hurt you and your child, which I am sure it already has.
The ultimate end to these types of relationships is "death" whether it be physical, spiritual, mental and family.
You asked "What am I suppose to do"...........my answer "Leave" Check out some of the women shelters and call some of the free battered women hot lines.
P.S. You most likely will return to your man once you leave but upon return, you will see that things are no better even after he promises to do better. Don't give up, leave again, hopefully you will remain gone for you and your daughter.
2006-10-07 19:59:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry! You cannot change a man. The only thing you can do is be there for a person when they want to make their own life better. Think about your daughter. Do you really want your daughter seeing you fight and seeing you get mentally abused. That is what you are. Even if he is not hitting you physically. He is mentally abusing you by calling you names. The best thing for you is to get rid of this looser. That is not what you want to hear but it is the truth. If you do not have someone to help uplift you then how can he be worth so much to you. I am not going to lie when you love someone it hard to let go. The feelings sometimes last for a year or two but it is worth having someone to appreciate you. You have already done your part by sticking by him making sure he gets clean now stick by him in a non relationship to make sure he gets help for his attitude. For yourself it may help for you to go through spouse abuse counseling. I did and it was worth it .
2006-10-07 20:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by Still_21_nheart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant change a man...he is who he is...he sounds like an abuser to me...what happens when the abuse starts on the daughter...how can you justify staying and taking a chance that he will more than likely become abusive to her...you need to think about her safety...not whether or not you can not spoil the relationship...you cant spoil something that is already spoiled and if he abuses you then it is already spoiled and you didnt do it...you are not to blame...you will be to blame if you stay and the abuse moves on to her...think about it...are you willing to take that chance...i hope not...was in a similar situation...the abuse did move on to our kids...blame myself for not leaving sooner...
2006-10-07 20:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not quite clear on this. He's a junkie. So are you. You both went clean. He relapsed. You stayed clean for the kid. He treats you lousy and there's a daughter involved? I don't understand the "spoiled relationship" thing. Whose? Yours and his? His and the kids? All of you?
Lady...if you're clean, he ain't then grab the kid and get to a Woman's Center or Narc Abuse clinic for help. You stay...you'll relapse and the kid will be either dead or with the state.
2006-10-07 19:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is already hitting you.. your relationship is pretty much over. For one he cant solve issues by hitting his partner and you should not take it or stick around until he "changes". once a wife beater that person will never change and he doesnt respect you. Physical or physical(mental) abuse are equally unacceptable.
2006-10-07 19:55:10 · answer #6 · answered by Marc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thought i was loaded reading this , it made no sense at all. until i started reading some of the answers....you know what you should do , in your heart you know. so what is the hold up? a child is involved but then again , it was always involved as you were so high maybe you didn't notice. well wake up now and for the childs sake not yours!
2006-10-07 19:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing u can say or do that will make anyone change if they don't want to. The only person u can change is yourself. With that said, what are u going to do with your situation?
2006-10-07 20:02:56 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we need to address your inablility to type correctly and use proper sentences. After we have that down, then you both need to check into rehab if you're druggies!
2006-10-07 19:52:20 · answer #9 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are YOU trying to change him? If he's hitting you...LEAVE. Changing is for HIM to WANT and for professionals to help him with.
2006-10-08 00:38:00 · answer #10 · answered by Shan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋