About six months ago I found out my husband was having an affair. We were having problems - not communicating, not spending enough quality time together. Problems I thought were pretty normal for a couple married for ten years. That changed when I found out about the other woman. Even though I have known they are together I saw them together for the first time last night. It hurt like he$$. Why is that?
2006-10-07 12:36:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I went through this, and the best advice that I can give you is: if you have children, focus on them heavily. They are the most important thing right now, so help them through it. If you do not have children, then go forward with your life. Have some fun and forget about them. The sooner you do this, the easier life becomes for you. In time, they will become very jealous of you.. a little secret (she probably already is jealous of you). Remember that always, and rise above all of the infidelity, because you are so much better than all of that. You are awesome and you are the winner in all of this... who would want to be with those that are so insecure with themselves. They've committed a horrible sin, broken one of the ten commandments even. They do not have a bright future ahead. However, you do, so live life and be happy that you're no longer a part of what's going on with the two of them. Good deal, YOU WIN!
2006-10-07 12:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by me2007 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you still love him. Time heals all wounds, but you can';t
continue to lick your wounds. If he cheated on you with her, he's going to do the same thing to her. It would have been easier had he ended the marriage with you first, but oh no he had to have Kate and Edith too. I know it will be hard, but hold your head up the next time you see them together. Also, if he continues with the affair, pack his stuff and drop it off at her house and be done with it. Don't continue the fighting - you are doing exactly what he wants you to do, so he can have a reason to go to her. Kill him with kindness, get dressed and go somewhere, even if it's to the library - do something for you.
2006-10-07 19:47:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women sometimes KNOW things and tend to try to "FORGET" or act as if its not that big of a deal but when u take the Blinders off and SEE it in ur face the reality of it all hits u slamb in the FACEa nd makes u realize what u already KNEW!!!
I'm sorry u had to SEE it like that, but now its up to u 2 decide what u are going to do about it!!!
2006-10-07 19:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it hurt like HE$$!! In marriage you share EVERYTHING - you truly become one. When one betrays another, it tears and cuts deeply. How could it not? I am a wfie and I can't imagine what it must feel like. I am very sorry that you are going through this. Hopefully you both will be interested in reconciliation and with some good counseling, you can work it out.
2006-10-07 20:30:44 · answer #4 · answered by ckphilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. It's like you can't stand the thought of someone else being with someone that was yours for so long. Don't ask yourself "why" about anything. Because, ya know what??? Whenever a guy cheats on you with someone, that other person is a million times worse than what you are., or what he says that you are. I don't know, honey, it's just tough.
2006-10-07 19:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when the guy is cheating, what's even harder is when you're relationship is breaking up and you don't know if they're fooling around, although it seems like the only explaination. It hurts because it's love hitting you in the gut, and love hurts.
2006-10-07 19:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you must still love him, i found out that my now ex wife from 14 years was having a affair, hurts like hell but it will pass and the best thing for you is to kick him out and file for divorce and start over.
2006-10-07 19:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by gill vangogh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not easy to live for 10 years married with someone.Try to keep you marriage alive.Perhaps its a crisis that your husbant has that period.But if you see that nothing is gonna change leave and try to find someone else in whom you will find the really love and the safety.dont give up.you have to be strong positive and to anticipate for the best.you can find someone else who will not cheat you.i wish you the best.
2006-10-07 19:44:32 · answer #8 · answered by anemos 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this turd still your husband? If he is then divorce the SOB and move on. He doesn't love you, if he did he'd be with you not her. He cheats because he can, and he knows you will forgive him because you "love him". B/S stop being his door mat. Tell him and his slut to go to h*ll and then find a man that will love and respect you.
2006-10-07 19:46:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you still love him. Its normal.
Have you talked to your husband about his affair? If he wont stop it, then its time for you to move on. I'm so so sorry. You deserve better.
2006-10-07 19:45:11 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋