my boyfriend went to prison.he wont be out until may 2008.he insist we get married so he can come back home and not his mothers .he said that since we are not married when he is out on parole,they wont let him come home but to a family members house instead.i dont want to marry anyone in prison.but how can i asure him that i love him,but want to wait.he insist that we get married there and re marry when he gets out.but i just dont want to do that,and dont know how to put him down without sounding all harsh.how can i make a no,sound nice?advice please
2006-10-07 12:34:17 · 12 answers · asked by super girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
for the one who said i was gonna be a welfare mama.maybe thats your case,i have plenty of education.and i work i dont need welfare.
2006-10-07 12:47:07 · update #1
LEAVE HIM NOW
2006-10-07 12:35:58 · answer #1 · answered by jean marc l 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a delimma you have mitzuki! What I hear you say is that you don't want to get married this way. That is all that it should be. This man sounds pretty controlling. He is going to be locked up for 2 years and wants the same for you! I am sorry sweetie, but you need to think of yourself. Love is not everything, you can find it everywhere! It sounds too much like dependence or fear rather than love. Please do yourself a favor, and wait to marry this man until he is out of prison. Someone far better may come along in the meantime. What do you want with an ex-con anyway? Best of luck to you, dear. I wish you well and wish happiness for you. Nana
2006-10-07 19:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Great idea to waste your life on a LOSER.
He doesn't want to go to his Mommy's. What a idiot.
Do not under any circumstances marry the guy. What kind of job will he get when he gets out? How will he support you? You will be a welfare Momma for the rest of your life. Get away while he is gone. Get a good education or job skill and do something with your life.
You don't need to be nice. Was he nice in getting arrested and convicted and leaving you for years? No. He is a selfish person. He will always be a selfish person. Say LOSER.
2006-10-07 19:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by Trollhair 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if it is worth it to get married in prison. He'll be gone more than a year. If you really want to stay with him, tell him that you love him but a wedding is important to you and its supposed to be the most amazing day of your life and therefore want to marry when he comes out. You can make all the arrangements etc, and the day he comes out, he can go to his mothers house for one night and the next day you'll get married. That should be reasonable I think.,
2006-10-07 19:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you love him, but 2 years in prison will change any man, whether he believes it will or not and that you want to wait to see if you are still compatible when he gets out. Marriage is a serious life-long committment and to enter into it right before a 2 year life-altering event would be foolish.
2006-10-07 19:38:14 · answer #5 · answered by ben_j_mac 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say "yes", you will marry him only when he comes out of prison. It is your life, your decision.
There is nothing he can do to force you to marry him. He will be in prison anyway.
Enjoy your freedom while it lasts. When you get married, it can sometimes feel like being in a prison. Can you imagine marrying someone in prison? Be smart and remember, life is all about choices.
2006-10-07 19:39:18 · answer #6 · answered by doggoneit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't marry anyone who has been in prison then you obviously don't love this guy. You not mature enough to even get married with the way you think.
2006-10-07 21:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really you have to just be honest and set your foot down. I dont know why his in jail but He shouldent have put himself in that kind of situation if he really care about you and himself. If your are not honest with him then you would be kind of leading him on. That is a long time to wait around for someone and alot of time wasted. Sorry but I feel like you should move on to something better
2006-10-07 19:38:58 · answer #8 · answered by louise23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tell him that you won't marry him until you know that he's going to straighten out his life, and that means getting out of prison and becoming an honest man.
2006-10-07 19:36:22 · answer #9 · answered by S K 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is a hard one but just explain how you feel..if he really loves you i am sure he will understand your point. I have a son in prison so my heart goes out to you
2006-10-07 19:36:55 · answer #10 · answered by susan l 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
are you sure you really love him think about yourself because if you asking for a answer you shouldn't do it
2006-10-07 19:41:41 · answer #11 · answered by smitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋