I thought I would be married forever. I love this man no matter how selfish he is. He recently quit drinking and thinks he doesn't want me anymore. We have two daughters that we adore. He says he still loves me but has no romantic feelings for me anymore. Should I be patient re: the sober situation? Is he able to make such a harsh choice? He's been sober for a short month..he used to drink 15 beers a day.
2006-10-07 11:15:20 · 10 answers · asked by Juls 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow , i would feel like he had to be drunk to be with me! i bet this really hurts after standing by a drunk for so many yrs. , huh? you can do better hun , let go and don't fight over this one. he ain't worth it anymore. but i am sorry you are being hurt like this.
2006-10-07 11:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it is time to ask yourself Do I really love this man or is it that you are frightened of not being married any longer and the changes that will come about. Just because he gets sober won't make him a better person he will still be the same man but sober. If he is in AA he is not working the program and he will soon be drinking again.
2006-10-07 11:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by dettie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nicely what he's doing isn't appropriate yet no person needs a divorce basically cuz the companion can no longer shop the residing house sparkling! it truly is incorrect! feels like he the two has somebody else in his existence now and he needs you out! And if he truly enjoyed you as he suggested he could never ask for a divorce! And did he talk approximately your 3 year old newborn whats gonna ensue to him/her? i do no longer see any use speaking to him and attempting to ask him to no longer divorce you! Its no longer you in any respect its him.. he has made up his thoughts and because he started dozing someplace else already that asserts lots! yet do ask him the actual reason of this divorce, its basically cuz of the residing house there is something else and you do should appreciate that lots!
2016-10-15 23:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by woodworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy with the CAPS! omg...
Anyhow, he probably had just lost the spice in the marriage, start trying new things with him, what does he like to do? Try giving into his likings and see what happens.
2006-10-07 11:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by good_shooter2000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be calm. live for your children. try to understand your husband by being near to him. love and affection will solve your problem.
positive thinking.
2006-10-07 11:19:59 · answer #5 · answered by prince47 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ONE MONTH IS NOT SOBER.
WHAT HE IS- IS A SOBER DRUNK.
HE NEEDS THERAPY.
ALCOHOL REHAP TREATMENT.
THEY DO HAVE OUTPATIENT PROGRAMS,
START WITH AN EVALUATION.
IF HE WON'T GO-YOU GO.
ALNON-ECT.
SEE -YOU CAN BE AN ENABLER-NOT GOOD FOR HIM NOR FAMILY.
CALL- ITS IN YOUR PHONE BOOK.
2006-10-07 11:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by cork 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
many people say their happy for a few years then get a divorce i believe that.
2006-10-07 11:19:34 · answer #7 · answered by Vi_PrInCeSs305 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Divorce should never be an option no matter what !!! Divorce means quit , and it's the coward's way out from their ordained marriage. MARRIAGE IS WHAT IT IS UNTIL DEATH !! When you speak those words " TILL DEATH DO US PART " that is exactly what it means. It matters not how many times you say " I DO ", the ONLY one that matter is the first one. GOD IS NOT A GOD OF COMPROMISE ! People change marriages like they change their socks these days. No one fell out from love , they fell out from commitment. Commitment means nothing anymore and it is great sadness. The hard core fact & truth concerning lifetime commitment is that it is until death.Marriage should not be entered into lightly. A vow is a vow. God takes vows very seriously so all of us should do the same. The bible says it is better not to make a vow , then to make one and break it. Again God is NOT a God of compromise.People make a commitment than they honor that commitment !!! MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT !! People could care less to honor any commitments anymore in our society. That is so sad. ONLY cowards & quiters won't ever give their 100 % into any commitment because they quit at one thing & it goes through evrything else they do in life ! It's the snowball effort. Quiters could care less in how about starting and finishing one thing at a time. It shows in their actions. It is this what people say , what people do , and what they say they do are entirely differents. It is the hard core fact here. I do not mix words when I'm dealing with the real truth and hard core facts . I won't compromise the real truth and the values & morals all of us got from God. God is the one who ordained marriage from the beginning. So I know that my husband { Paul Heinz } is the man God ordained me to have for my lifetime spouse !!! God gave reasons for remarriage , it was when your spouse dies , but as long as your spouse lives you ARE BOUND by the vows you took , again the bible says it is better not to make a vow, then to make one & break it. Now about the divorce because of being beat , or the kids being beat , this is hardness of heart, you can divorce him or her BUT YOU CAN'T REMARRY OR HAVE SEX TILL HE OR SHE DIES , these are not my words but GOD"S.
I am in the same boat with a lot of other people here, I am seperated from my ordained lifetime husband { Paul Heinz }, and have been 5 years.My husband was abrusing me & my 3 children. Plus both of us were into pot and drinking boozes. One day I had enough of the abruse , drinking , & the pot so I took action which my husband did not like. Now my husband wanted the divorce not me . I do NOT believe in divorce because it is so wrong and God HATES divorce. My husband could care less for his ordained wife { that's me } , our 3 children and his responsibilities for his ordained marriage & his ordained family. Paul's girlfriend's husband was the one who was giving us our pot for many years. Paul's girlfriend was getting abruse from her husband for many years in their ordained marriage plus Tom was into major drugs & drinking a lot. For 5 years now I stop using pot & drinking broozes so I'm clean which that is so good too. It is so sad that my husband did not gave up his drinking broozes and he could care less about his drinking problem. He is always partying with his girlfriend. It is sad that Paul's girlfriend has a drinking problem too that is what my children see when they were over there but they stop going over so my children are safe. My children are getting abruse from their Father & their Father's girlfriend but I put a stop to it. My christain cournsellor told me that my husband is getting abruse from his girlfreind ...... that is why he is two face with our children. My son told me this when his Father is with his girlfriend , he is very cure & very mean to him and when his Father is not with his girlfriend he is nice to him. My husband have to be two face to live how he is & that is what my counsellor told my children & I that truth. My counsellor said that my husband is now reaping what he sowed. My husband is NOT my problem he is God's problem. I know down deep in my heart to be true that my husband is truly born again , he would be still with me & our children !!! I can't remarry and go to heaven , inless something were to happen to my husband , and God forbid that happens. If my husband dies while he is in his adultery relationship with my x-best friend { Leslie Nyilas }, he is going to hell unles he truly repents from it . That means my husband must have to return back to me. To me God will bring my husband back to me when he becomes truly born again. It won't ever work between Paul & I unless Paul becomes truly born again. My family knows that Paul is not truly born again because where he is still now with his girlfriend .
I can have friends , I can love , I just CAN"T remarry or have sex. So what , it's no big deal. I'm the one who lives with myself and my conscience no one else here. The hard core fact is there is no pillow so soft as a CLEAR conscience !!! Hey I had the best with my true , one & only husband and my goal is to keep my marriage bed pure !!!It is much better to do what is right before God. Like they say " if you know you are doing someting right , you have a lot of courage to do someting. "
I think " the could care less commitment attitude " causes most divorces and people are taking the easy way out from doing what is right. Everyone of us has a responsibility to live right. The marriage commitment is a covenant that MUST NOT BE BROKEN WHILE BOTH SPOUSES LIVES , even if they think they may have made a mistake.COMMITMENT HAS COST !!! People are NOT willing to pay that cost into a lifetime investment anymore .People in our society always say they can't do it . Can't is the favorite word of a coward & a quiter. Can't doesn't mean you can't. Can't means you've chosen not to. Life has no limitations , except the ones you make. My attitude is this don't give in and don't give up. Say what you mean & mean what you say !!! Commit to your choices in life and don't walk away like a quiter because it is not working the way you want it to be. Life is not consequences. Life is decisions. It is a big fat lie that the grass is greener elsewhere. It is ALWAYS brown and it's going to take anyone to death. I won't ever believe in that lie because I know the hard core truth.
Also I think boredom causes some divorces , you when we first marry we feel this tingle in the body , but as time goes by we get comfortable with our spouse , and that don't happen anymore, but thats going to happen in any relationship over time, then your back in the same boat, IF THE GRASS WAS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE { which is not greener } ; why would there be over 50 perrent of people that have remarried, have done it more then once. If you continue to do what you have always done, you will continue to get what you have always got. Like they say " you reap what you sow " ............ that is what God says .
2006-10-07 14:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no
2006-10-07 11:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
no
2006-10-07 11:17:46 · answer #10 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋