Me and my husband has been together for 6 years and we have children together. But the relationship is not the same all we do is argue, we dont do things together and we dont have a friendship, were just two people in the same house. when i ask him to do something he says ok but it never gets done. when i give him advise, he does the oppisite, but someone else can say the same thing a hour later and he thinks thats the best idea he ever heard. We have no romance, no friendship, no understanding nothing but sex and thats not even good
2006-10-07 10:38:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh sweetie. You need to confront him and tell him how you feel. if you don't it will just progress and then there will be nothing left. Unless you are done.....if you wish that you could be in a loving relationship with the hubby you need to talk to him about it. If you are done with him and all the efforts you have already tried are not working you know what to do, I can't tell you what to do. There's this old song that is called "Listen to your heart" yep I know tacky but for real, you need to listen to what your head and heart are telling you right now. Don't let him go unless you want him to go. Good Luck!
2006-10-07 11:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a counselor ASAP and start talking. My husband and I have been where you guys are and a year ago I swore I was so sick of it I just wanted to leave. I couldn't take it anymore, couldn't take his emotional distance anymore. So I went to a counselor--on my own--and started to be really bluntly honest with my husband. Basically we fought to get it back and we're winning. Have you talked to him? Told him how you felt? If not, do it. But talk in terms, "I feel" not "you do or don't do this or that", which will only make him feel attacked. If you can't talk to him calmly without accusing then write him a letter. That's what I did, I started with an email to my husband (if that doesn't tell you how bad our communication was). It snowballed from there. Now we make time for us again. There's still not much romance, cause my husband is very much an intellectual; his idea of romance is "honey, I did the dishes for you!". I kid you not. But we spend time together, we flirt, we talk...and in his eyes I see a difference. He looks at me differently.
Anyway...don't give up just yet honey. Unless he's walking out that door or is cheating on you, it CAN be saved.
2006-10-07 10:51:38 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The relationship may be over, and that is something only you know in your heart. You can't come here and tell people what the problem is and expect them to give the right answer. For them, outside does look different, but we aren't you or him. We don't even know what he has to say about all this. For all we know he is feeling frustrated about something as well, and maybe even feels like he can't talk to you about it. It may be something as simple as a lack of communication. Communication is very important in relationships. If the two of you can't talk about the problem then the relationship IS over. You need to tell him what you have told us. Be open with him. If there is a problem you think you can't fix then maybe consider going to a marriage counselor. To what point are the two of you willing to go to improve your marriage? To what point are you willing to allow your marriage to deteriorate and end up separated?
P.S. Listen to hislady. She has many important things to say here. Everything she said is true and good!
2006-10-07 10:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say its over. Not cause of the sex. Cause he's not doing things. My wife and I fight over chores cause I feel like I do everything. But when I really push it it gets done. My wife does try, just trying once a week sucks.
I'm in the same boat married almost 5 years the sex sucks the friendship sucks.
2006-10-07 10:54:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
bless your heart , to be going thru such hard times. need some counseling , for sure. you two have grown apart and you need to get it back together real soon. because before ya know the kids will be grown and then there is no more reason to be together. so find some help....and hold on to your marriage. it may be he is feeling the same way. lost touch an don't know how to get it back.
2006-10-07 10:48:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't sound good at all. Best thing you can do is to get help...see a councilor. This game of "Last One to Die, Gets the House" is no fun...been there...you can't win, except by leaving, or changing the game.
2006-10-07 11:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a marriage counsellor about this problem. Once the spark is gone, it is hard to reignite the flame.
2006-10-07 10:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by James S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dang I could have written that... except we don't argue but rarely.
Think of this: can you picture being married to him 20 years from now? If not, get out if you can.
2006-10-07 10:41:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋