How can I once and for all give up the habit of erotic cyber-chatting on the Net ?

Question

Im male & 52 yrs old. I started chatting online when my marriage broke up, and my wife took off with our little son, six years ago. It was depressing and I took refuge in the cyber world. It gives me the false sense of being intimate with someone, but without being vulnerable to being hurt again. Ive lost a lot of valuable time chatting on the Net, energy and self-respect. I know its really foolish, yet, when I feel lonely or in the evening, I will get online and get into this useless fantasizing & erotic cyber-chat. Sometimes I can go weeks without it, and then I slip back into it when I am more stationary. It seems when I am always on the go and keeping busy Im ok, but as soon as I am comfortable at home, its a fight to overcome this addiction. Since I have been divorced twice, I dont have much confidence that I can be stable in a relationship, so I dont have any sense of comitment . If I could be single and celibate, it would probably be the best. Please give your advice

Answer 1

disconnect your internet connection.....get rid of your computer and seek help...maybe thru a priest or trusted clergyman or a professional...you arent the first and you wont be the last with this problem.....you have taken the most important step in admitting you have a problem...good luck

Answer 2

Mister, I was where you are now. I got lost in cyber space for about a year. It was a very comfortable distraction. And then, like you, it started to feel more like an addiction. Ultimately, I canceled my Internet service at home for a looong time. I got interested in other things. I became the best Dad that I could be. You know...Scout Leader, football coach and stuff like that. I found out what was really important. After 6 years, I am still single and celibate (mostly). Don't think that a relationship is good for me either right now. The point is, I feel better about other things in my life now and I don't have an Internet obsession anymore. Good luck with your troubles...I feel your pain.

P.S.-I have Internet in my home again now.

Answer 3

You've probably heard this over and over, but you need to keep yourself busy at the times you are most vulnerable-the evenings. You are not doing anything wrong (as long as no minors are involved), but you admit you could be more productive with your time.
If I was you, I'd take an evening class at a local college. This will afford you time with adults in a social atmosphere. Alot of adults take the evening classes due to work schedules versus the "teenagers" in the mornings and afternoons. Make a commitment to really excel in the class and force yourself to study/do your homework outside of your home-local library or the college library even when you don't have class that night. When that class is over, look over the class schedule again. Take a class for enjoyment and enrichment, not necessarily to obtain a degree. Who know...you might even meet someone interesting?

Answer 4

Honestly if its this big of a problem - get rid of the internet.

If you can't because you need it for work as well...

Download a kid safe browser, most will let you set what pages can be visited and which cannot. Do not allow any of the sites that you cyber-chat at on this. Delete all your other browsers.

These are mostly free. Search at www.download.com

Answer 5

lol i used to be addicted to it . but once i met somebody i didnt feel the need to any more . i know its hard but you need to try and find some1 so you have the real thing then you wont even want to think about doing it. i know its hard but you want to try and talk to nice girls and try to meet agenuinly nice girl who doesnt talk about it all the time . she might not talk about it much but it doesnt mean shes not interested i know i prefered the men that didnt talkabout it much it meant i knew he didnt want just 1 thing so he had a better chance of meeting me good luck xx

Answer 6

While it hurts do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
You are a sensible guy, you will get over it in time and move on.

Answer 7

As long as the person you are cybering with is old enough and is consenting then you are not doing anything wrong... there is no need for you to feel guilty or ashamed lots of people do it.

Answer 8

Well just disconnect the internet! Good Luck!

Answer 9

bad habits are just that......if you really wanted to stop you would..only when a person is damn good and ready will the true trying begin...you will just have to find it in yourself that time when your heart and mind merge together as one and kick that bad habits ***...