Ladies, how many times would you forgive your husband/partner for viewing porn secretly (which you then find out about) and is it more upsetting and degrading if they are paying for 'pay per view' web cams as opposed to just viewing what ever appears on the web site they are watching.
2006-10-07 10:21:07 · 20 answers · asked by babycakes mummy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! I know exactly what you are talking about. My husband once ran my cable bill up to $400 ordering porn. I was home, but I would be doing other things and when I walked into the room he would conveniently press the recall button so I would think he was watching sports. I have begged my husband in tears to stop with his porn addiction. It really hurts and it makes me think that I'm not good enough for him. It really depresses me and I wish he would respect and love me more than that.
2006-10-07 10:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by Karma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that a lot of people have the attitude of "boys will be boys" if a man is looking at internet porn that he's not paying for. I can't agree, though. If a man is looking at porn, he's viewing the female (your questions appears to be about a straight man) body as an object. If he does this on a regular basis, he will view your body as an object. This is detrimental to a relationship.
Porn didn't used to be as readily available, because men had to order it through the mail or go to a specialty shop to buy it or get it from friends. It tended to be something common to young men who usually stopped looking at porn when they "settled down." Now with the internet, it's so readily available. It's a problem with our adolescent and teenage kids, and more men seem to continue to look at it well past the age when they should have let it go. I know a lot of relationships, even marriages, where a problem with porn was a factor.
Tell your partner how you feel about it. Ask him if he is willing to stop looking at the porn for the sake of your relationship. If it has gotten to the point of addiction, ask him to get professional help before your relationship is destroyed. If he refuses, start making plans to leave. You deserve a man who will put you first, a man who doesn't waste energy outside of your relationship.
2006-10-07 10:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by Yogini108 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well me, I don't make my husband hide porn. If he wants to watch it, I am alright with that. Sometimes people need differnt outlets to express and explore sexually... this gives them more creativity and vitality in the bedroom.
However, if this is something that you have discussed and you have told him that you are uncomfortable about, and he continues to do this behind your back... I wouldn't stand for it.
I recommend some sort of sexual therapy, so you two can get comfortable and have an open arena to talk about sex and maybe you both can some to a comprimise.
There is something he needs sexually, that he isn't getting... and I am sure it's not personal to you. But you have to learn to be more comfortable with his needs, and he needs to be more respectful to you.
And yes... as a matter of fact though, I would be a little more upset if he was paying for it. There are PLENTY of free options, LOL.
2006-10-07 10:33:05 · answer #3 · answered by Willalee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my ex did it and I found out he always said "it wasn't me i haven't been looking at them",then it progressed to sex chat lines then putting ads in a paper to meet singles and then going to prostitutes and yes i forgive him again and again until i could take no more and thought i was going out of my mind,I felt as if he was cheating on me and that i wasn't good enough,there is such a thing as sex addiction and my ex husband had it but would never admit it,if your hubby is doing it I'm sorry but hes not going to stop ,so it your choice, you either put up with it and turn a blind eye or move on to find someone who only gets turned on by you.
2006-10-07 10:31:14 · answer #4 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you asked this question to ladies, however my partner has no objection to my viewing porn, indeed sometimes she will watch it with me or download new stuff for me to look at. Provided it's treated as an addition to your sex life as opposed to replacing it, I can't see what the problem is.
2006-10-07 10:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by frontera2 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel sorry for you i know it makes you feel less important when your husband looks at porn - you should let it affect the person you are- the problem lies with your huaband you should seek professional help! although its difficult to believe porn is acctualy saving your marriage and stopping him from cheating on you in reality --- this whole issue masts deeper unresovled issues and saddly you takeing alot of emosional strain outa it.....please talk to your husband and go for counseling
goodluck ;-)
2006-10-07 10:29:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm not gay, nor am I addicted to porn. in spite of if, i don't sense that there is the variety of ought to be interior the closet anymore. i could be somewhat naive, yet this is how i think. I extremely have many acquaintances that are gay and that they don't cover it. in no way as quickly as have I seen them taken care of in yet in any different case by way of fact of there sexual selection... as a ways by way of fact the habit is going, i think of all of us ought to alter into addicted. intercourse is relaxing and extremely some human beings can not think of roughly lots else... i think of it ought to be extremely ordinary for human beings to alter into addicted. in the adventure that your companion has a situation sufficiently great that makes his/her pass over out on issues in existence by way of fact he/she could extremely be finding at porn then they do have a substantial situation and ought to talk to somebody approximately that..... good success.
2016-11-26 23:30:15 · answer #7 · answered by brigance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not bothered by my husband looking at porn - we are very open about this, and it doesn't bother me at all. He does sometimes pay for movies (they are higher quality and longer) and aslong as he has the funds, I don't mind.
I'd talk with your husband - find out why you feel the way you do, and see if you can reach a compromise.
2006-10-07 10:24:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
strongly recommend NetDog Porn Filter, it will block those porn sites quitely in the background when your husband 's on the internet
http://www.NetDogSoft.com
2006-10-07 16:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
two problems, one hes paying for it when the stuff is free, and two hes being sneaky, which is cool when your 15 and dont want mom to catch you but you are the wife
so, id say that if your not home and hes going to do it he shouldnt pay for it and should tell you, but theres no obligation for him to tell you, i was with myself twice today and im not telling my wife, i dont have any requirement to tell her, its my body,
your husbands body is his, but wasteing money if you do what we do which is the joint finances thing, than its no good
2006-10-07 10:58:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋