How can I be stern but also an approacable teacher at the same time?

Question

I am a young female teacher at an all boys school. The boys I teach are testy especailly with female teachers. I am therefore very firm and strict and it works for me especially for classroom management, block management, etc. I feel I MUST get respect from them.

However, I find that my students are afraid to ask me questions or to tell me personal things. How do I let them see that although I stand for discipline, that I'm also approachable on personal matters?

Answer 1

I don't think you can have both right now. You are doing the right thing. Respect is much more important than being liked. As you continue teaching there, the "liked" part will come naturally in time.

Answer 2

Maybe once you've established yourself as someone not to be messed with in terms of discipline and respect, you can loosen up a little. Bring in a CD to play while they're reading or something, or give rewards for hard work/improvement. Bring snacks for the kids to enjoy while they stay after school for extra help.

It's a lot of extra work, and teaching is incredibly difficult to start with, but you'll get out of teaching what you put into it.

Another thing to remember (something my grandma told me, bless her!) is that you can always let up a little, but it's very difficult to be more strict if you haven't started out that way.

As far as your students telling you personal things...what do you want to know and why do you want to know it? You're not a parent, you're not a doctor, you're not a friend, you're a teacher. Sometimes you will need to step into a non-teacher-ish role, but only enough to help kids get to appropriate sources of professional aid. I'm not saying don't get involved and don't care, but you are a *professional* *teacher*. That's what you went to school for, not any of those other things.

Answer 3

My mother teaches high school and all of her students love her. The first day of each semester she puts her foot down and explains exactly what she will and will not tolerate. However, she makes each class fun. For instance, she throws in some jokes, some personal experiences, etc. She is like a big sister to her students. By being stern yet reasonable, she has gained respect from everyone. By being calm and understanding, she has gained their love. If you ask me, you should show them you can relate to them in some ways, while still being professional. It may take awhile, but you should get through to at least one of them and that's a start, is it not?

Answer 4

The MOST important thing you can do in your classroom is teach your procedures and stick to your rules. Your students need to know EXACTLY what is expected of them and what will happen id they don't follow through AND then you need to do your part by being consistent when they don;t follow through. Consistency will earn you respect. Kindness and fairness will earn their trust. Tell them how much you care about them as people. respect the changes they are going through and guide them to make good choices. Constance communication with the kids and parents helps too. Be sure to do as much positive communication home as possible.Hang in there-- the longer you teach the easier this will become.

Answer 5

Maybe you just need to change your tone. Stating expectations and consequences in a matter of fact way can be just as effective as being mean. I'm not saying that's not what you're doing, but it's a possibility.

Someone said you can't have both. I beg to differ. Asking questions that require opinionated answers will spark class discussions. This is a great way to open up yourself and let your students see that you too have opinions and ideas to be valued. It's one way to get them to see the human side of you, which will make you seem more approachable.

Answer 6

I flat out tell them. I am mean. However, I am also reasonable. I understand that problems arise. You can talk to me and we can work things out sometimes as long as you do not try to take advantage of me.

Then, when a kid has a problem and does not come to me (cause they are scared or whatever) I call them aside and talk to them about it. Maybe it is a failed test, or a late project for example. We work something out and then I tell them; next time please come to me and talk about it. Remember; I may seem strict, but I am a reasonable person. Your reputation will spread. You have to make the first step and the kids will get to know that it is true.