i grew up to believe that the man my mum married was my dad until i found my birth certificate and it had someone elses name on it,i was too scared to mention it to my mum back then, until her husband died.. she told me straight away that he was my dad, and gave me his address, he'd moved but the person who had his old house passed my letter on to him... he called me the next day, we hit itoff straight away and i found that i had a whole new family, i met them all and we got on great, anyway i had not heard from my dad for a few weeks so i called and his phone was cut off, he'd moved house, he never told me he was moving, he just took off....i am so upset by this because i really thought that we were all ok, i knew him for 6 years and i regularly travelled to see him, he was so sweet and kind to me and my kids, so why would he leave without telling me, i am so upset and confused...who thinks this is cruel?....i cant get my head round it....i feel totally rejected....again....
2006-10-07 08:42:23 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this is to the one who answered my question....i dont rememebr actually putting the word "force" in my post.?..or did i blame myself for anything, so why would i want to force myself on someone, who himself searched for me for many years, so no... did not force myself into his world, and no it's not my fault he moved,
2006-10-07 10:01:59 · update #1
Honey perhaps this is why your Mum never told you, as she new what he was like, she didn't wont you to get hurt again. He disappeared when you where a baby, and he has done it again, i really do know who you feel, i never meet my Dad until i was 12, and he had a whole new family 4 other kids, and i loved being there, but found it hard to fit in. But hey maybe, he will get in touch with you, you really need to sit down and tell him how you feel, and explain how totally rejected you feel, i hope
that he does get in touch, and you can work this out. As it really so unfair. Mums do somethings to protect their kids, even through sometimes its not always the right thing, they think at the time it is, if you stepfather was good to you, i hope that he was, then you were lucky to have had a male figure in your life. Their are some kids out there who had no one, not even a mother. I had a wonderful mum, so count myself lucky, even through i did not know my father. Hope that it all works out for you, good luck and god bless.
2006-10-07 08:57:17 · answer #1 · answered by donua1022 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi sorry to hear about your dad, and been reading some of the other answers,the bit that stands out to me is the fact that he was passed a letter from you, by the new house owner, and he chose to answer it, that says a lot, he could have ignored it, but didn't, so he obviously wanted to meet you, and in your words, 'hit it off straight away' , he was sweet and kind to you and your children, your words again. This does not sound like someone who would just take off without a good reason. For six years, you, and your children, his grandchildren, have been part of his life, I bet you are a part he is really proud of. so something else must have made him take off. sounds as if it could be worth tracking him down one more time, at least give him a chance to explain. Good luck, and very best wishes.
2006-10-07 16:37:47 · answer #2 · answered by learned_old_sage 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel.
My dad had left when i was at an earily age and i never heard from him again.
I'm not sure why your dad would have done this,.No one will ever know unless you hear from him again and he tells you. Just remember if you do hear from him again, forgive...
It's the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids
you don't want to live the rest of your life withholding a grudge from something you had no power over. Even though he is your bio dad, you grew up with your real dad and meeting your bio dad was a relief after his death. Just know that your mom and dad are here for you even though he might not "be here" with us.
I hope everything works out for the best xoxox
2006-10-07 16:09:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah it's cruel... but don't feel rejected, he will contact you when he is ready, take each day at a time... you went many years without him, maybe you should appreciate the time that you did have him? some dont have anything to do with there real parents in this case and live wondering for the rest of thier lives..
in some way you are lucky...
hope he contacts you and lets u know what happened and where he is................. good luck x
2006-10-07 15:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by storm.minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he had something to take care of in his own life. Give it some time and see if he contact you...you haven't moved have you? Perhaps when things settle down for him, he will contact you. I haven't seen my father since I was 7. I found him a few years ago and called him...he told me he wasn't my dad and didn't know me...I had a PI track him and even have DNA proof...so I know it's him, but it hurt to be rejected so I know how you feel...be patient...he may come around. Fare Thee Well.
2006-10-07 15:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was your fault. You forced yourself, suddenly, on your new found DAD and his family. He probably did not have the guts or the interest to allow you to visit him regularly and be a part of his " other family".Probably he did not want your mother or you.He had no choice but to leave for some destination unknown to you.If you want his new address ,please visit the local Post Office and check if he has given an intimation for forwarding mails to a new address and what is the new address ? The Postal authorities will oblige.Meanwhile, please dont leave your Mother in despair. She has lost "BOTH" her husbands.One Dead for ever.the Other ignoring her.Your love and caring for her will make her forget the gloomy past she had to go through all alone.
2006-10-07 15:50:32 · answer #6 · answered by Haresh Punjabi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being kind and charming doesn't mean he is a wonderful person. It just means it was working for him at the time. It is not the first time he has moved on without looking back and he has probably done it to other people in his life - don't take it personal. He is a jerk - just ask you Mum.
2006-10-07 15:47:36 · answer #7 · answered by justwondering 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that happen to you and it's sad. It's very cruel too,but maybe he couldn't handle it all. Men do that sometimes. not that it's right, but some aren't good at being a father. I know it hurts you but there isn't anything you can do. Just love him for who he is and live. It is sad and it would hurt anyone if that had happened too them. I'm really sorry.
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2006-10-07 15:48:41 · answer #8 · answered by ▒Яenée▒ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can be a lot to say, can be right can be wrong. He gave you what he could. Maybe he couldn't handle the situation of loosing you for the true of life. He just want close the book of his life and keep the memory, how he left - The End.
2006-10-07 15:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats really rough - sorry this has happened to you perhaps he'll get in touch with u again and has a really good reason for having left you this way. you sound like a nice person so its not your fault or anything .try not to let this experience make you give up on human relationships altogether.hope things get better for you.
2006-10-07 15:50:06 · answer #10 · answered by Alex P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋