My husband went out of town a few months back and I found out that he had a one night stand. I did some reseach (cell phone records etc...) and found that she is a married womand herself. Now I want to call and confront her. I also want her husband to know what she has done. Am I wrong. My husband has not spoken to her since it happened a few months ago but I am still angry. Yes I am giving him 1 chance.
2006-10-07 08:30:02 · 22 answers · asked by Missmaithai 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks, I got a lot of insight. All though my husband did the cheating I feel like I am the only one doing the hurting. My husband cried when he told me about it and I have never seen him cry before, not even when his grandfather died. I am having such a hard time playing it off and pretending to be strong and ok. It seems to be working because he is more loving than ever and proclaims that I am such a great woman and he can't believe how lucky he is to have me, I just smile and hug him but deep inside I want to punch him in the gut. He said he was drunk out of his mind and was not thinking right when it happend, not a good excuse.
2006-10-07 08:47:13 · update #1
Why be the barrier of such bad news. You already utilizing so much energy secretly hating your husband.
I speak from experience, although your Husband cheated, he owned up to his sin, and professed to never cross that line again, unless he has of pattern of such behavior you must forgive and move on with your life. It's a sin to not forgive him Sweetie, your Lord and Savior forgave you for the things you've done, surely you can forgive this one indiscretion.....right?
Another tip, you do yourself more harm than good by holding that secret grudge. He doesn't know about your true feelings, so it's like your winking in the dark.......whistling in a grave yard....nobody knows your doing it but you!!
Seek your Heavenly Father, ask for forgiveness and strength to forgive your Husband, and move on in your marriage. This may very well be God's attempt to bring you and your Husband closer to Him, and become closer to one another and experience true intimacy, not just sexual intimacy, but a unshaken intimacy/bond between you two that only God can help you create.
2006-10-07 09:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-08-29 06:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you will feel better if you call her and are civil, and if she is civil back. I am a married woman who cheated with an engaged man. We got caught. by emails. She emailed me and said that i needed to call her or she would contact my husband. She was so furious but once she talked to me and asked me questions she felt so much better. I felt like a scum bag. I cheated because i caught my husband cheating and it was a one night stand, but i didn't know he had a fiance and therefore i felt responsible for possibly ruining their marriage since she found out after they were married. She had no reason to involve my husband, that was for me to deal with. She also wasn't mad at me anymore, i'm not the one who made promises to her. She wanted to know what we talked about and i told her. She said our stories matched so it made her feel better about things. I thought that by doing what my husband did to me that i would feel better to seek revenge. It is the worst thing that i have ever done. I get over what my husband did, there are certain things that one will not be abe t get over once they happen. It just depends on the person. 2 years later and i'm still wondering if he's messing around or has had another once night stand. I think i will wonder for the rest of my life if i stay with him. One chance is great!! Unfortunately for my husband this last time was the 2nd chance. You are not wrong, you have every right to be angry and down right furious. Betrayal can make you do crazy things. Good Luck
2006-10-07 09:11:58 · answer #3 · answered by MaggieMae 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes I would!! Why not? As a matter of fact I would call and ask for her husband and tell him(provided it's a home number) or go the extra mile and find out the address to the number and send a ******* letter to her husband!! I'm all about revenge!! I understand you giving him 1 chance but I hope you made it clear that if you even have a suspicion that he is seeing someone else you will leave him!! Are you guys doing some counseling?? It may help with your anger! Being angry too long makes people ugly and their skin wrinkle prematurely!! I'm serious get that anger out as soon as possible!
2006-10-07 08:38:51 · answer #4 · answered by EriksSweetheart 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would have no problem with the confrontation bit, but what will you really say? She never made a vow to you. Are you positive she knew you even existed. This is what I don't understand about women. It was your husband who promised to be faithful to you. If he cheated on you, he probably lied to her as well. Even if he didn't and she willingly and knowingly cheated with what she knew was a married man, he had teh responsibility of not allowing it to happen. Mad at her, yea, maybe. However, he is the one who broke your covenant.
I think it's good that you will give him another chance, but since that bond of trust has been broken, he would have to be willing to walk on water and through fire to earn it back. Start with counseling to get a clear understanding of why he felt a need to cheat on you.
I wish you the best.
2006-10-07 08:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by Wise ol' owl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, if you are truly giving your husband a chance, then you have to find a way to overcome your anger. And more importantly, and twice as difficult is to re-develop the trust.
What was done, is done. Your calling her husband and embroiling him in your hurt will not make you feel any better. It will just make another person miserable. Things done out of hurt and retribution always come back to bite one in the backside later.
Your anger is a result of the hurt of betrayal. It is difficult to overcome, and sometimes impossible. You might try sitting down in private one day and just pouring out all of your anger and hurt and thoughts on paper. Then when you are done, tear it into dozens of pieces and flush it down the toilet immediately afterwards. Sometimes doing so has a cathargic effect.
I assure you that contacting this other woman will not make you feel better.
2006-10-07 08:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No what's the point in confronting her on the phone face to face would be different but what are you going to tell her on the phone?also I would deal with my husband because it took the two of them not just one,and they both have commited adultery so again what will you say to her once you do get her on the phone it's a waste of time try to move on and work on your marriage since you have chosen to give your Husband a second chance.
2006-10-07 08:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you husband cried. He's sorry, sorry that he got caught!
One thing to point out, the key is 'one night stand'. This isn't some type of affair, it was strictly a one nighter. I know that doesn't make the pain any less significant. At least you know for sure that he isn't interested in pursuing her.
As to the other woman, she'll get hers. You could help by speeding things up a bit. Address a note to her husband. In it tell him he'd better start watching his wife and to keep her away from your husband. Also put in the web address to Cheaters, http://www.cheaters.com/display.php/tid/82/
And don't name names. Confusion is such fun. He'll be wondering who his wife is banging and God only knows how many affairs will be uncovered. Happy hunting!
2006-10-07 09:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are wrong. What would be the point in confronting her? You've stated you are giving your husband another chance, so just drop it. She was not totally at fault for the one night stand, your husband was involved as well. If you're going to ignore HIS participation in the matter and give him a chance then you should forget about HER part in it as well.
2006-10-07 08:37:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you saying u found out ur hubby slept with another woman... Did he tell you or u found out sum other way? If he cheated on you, you should go up to your hubby! Also, if you feel the need to go up to the woman and talk to her than do it if that makes u feel better. It has happen already but at least let her know that he is urs and better yet.. let her hsuband know by calling her house number or so ever
2006-10-07 08:39:32 · answer #10 · answered by ceci 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋