if things really arnt working out in your marrage and you decide to leave are you a quiter for not staying longer and hoping that they will chang even if you feel in your heart that he wont ever change? What about for better or worse? Who bad do you let things get?
2006-10-07 08:24:16 · 12 answers · asked by kristal930 k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. It is easier to leave if it's time to leave.
2. no you're not a quitter. you're a realist who wants happiness out of life. everyone makes mistakes and some choose the wrong person to marry.
3. For better or worse--well how bad is it? If you get to the point that you start feeling hatered...well need I say more
4. Only bad enough to where you know there is no possible way to fix it.
2006-10-07 08:29:36 · answer #1 · answered by azile_wehttam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 9 years. I knew 3 months into there was trouble when he ignored one very important request I had for him (but not an unreasonable request)... 2 years later I wanted a divorce. There was no love in the marraige and I was lonely and misserable. My parents told me to stick it out and try to work on things.... I tried as hard as I could - but he didn't make much of an effort. He just blamed me for everything that went wrong all the time. By the 5th year we were only having sex like 5 or 6 times a year. By the 7th year I thought about wanting to die alot and thought there was no way out... I come from a very Anti-Divorce family. Then in the last halve of the 9th year- he cheated on me and filed for divorce...
A bad marraige is like a big nasty zit. Eventually it will pop and self-destruct. The question is - how long do you want to suffer with that festering throbbing zit.
If I could do it all over again - I'd have gone thru with the divorce in the 2nd year and get my most of my 20's back. If there is no love and no way the person will try to change or do better - move on. You made a mistake. Why should a mistaken marraige be a mistake you can never recover or learn from? You will know in your heart what to do.
2006-10-07 08:36:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what you have done to make the marriage work. In my case, my ex was an alcoholic and an abuser. I talked to him for years about getting help. I finally could not take it any more and after 15 years I filed for divorce. Leaving was one of the hardest things I ever did. I knew in my heart he would never change. Also, by the time I left, all my love for him was gone and the better or worse thing had become only worse and worse. I am much happier now and wish I had left him long before that. It was hard to leave, but if I had stayed, I would be dead.
Since you asked the question, I think you already know the answer.
2006-10-07 08:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by Sabina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always easier to break a marriage than make it. But if things are getting ugly and you know they are not going to get better,then it is a wise move to break up.
I cannot tell you exactly what to do B'cos I dont know the extent of your problem. But the answer is within yourself my dear. Calmly go over the things that have happened. If you feel in your heart that things are'nt going to change yet you hope he will, Ignore all of your feelings and listen to your inner wisdom. By the way, quittng a marriage does not mean that you are a quitter. The words "for better or worse" mean the good times and the bad times. It has nothing to do with being with an evil spouse. If you feel you have a truly evil spouse who is making your life hell, drop him and save your soul.
But also, if there is a genuine chance that things could be improved then it is better to stay and save the marraige, because a happy marraige is the finest bond a human can ever have.
But you will see things Clearly only if you go over all the facts, good and bad, calmly.
that is why I said that the answers are within you.
2006-10-07 08:58:22 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny Joanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the times when there is no solution.Or the other person will never accept alternates it is easier to leave and much more harder to stay.In my lifetime I have had to literally get a girl out, with the help of Mumbai Police, from the clutches of her cruel husband and for the girl it was harder to stay every second.So accept leaving the guy as the simplest solution and concentrate on taking other steps to make your future pleasant and secure.
2006-10-07 08:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by Haresh Punjabi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stayed with my partner for the sake of the kids for nearly 6 years. Although I don't regret our relationship I know it would have been much better for me if I had made the decision earlier as my confidence has been getting lower and lower all the time and I feel really nervous about finding someone new after all this time.
If you feel that you can never be truely happy I would leave as you will just be unhappy.
2006-10-07 08:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by meday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly feel its not going to work then you should leave
at first you will be sad and hurt
but with time it will all get better.
No point in wasting your life being unhappy
you only live once
Enjoy Life, Live and Learn,
Have no regrets for everything is a learning experience that only makes you stronger and wiser.
2006-10-07 08:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
o...k. its difficult to leave BUT once you do there is no way in hell you wan to go back... if you are in a relationship that you know is not going any where its amazing how happy you will be once you leave,,,PEACE OF MIND your situation might be diffrent than mine... i am very content with my life... you flourish once you are by yourself..i have no money... but i have myself..........love it............... i have kids and as long as me and my ex get along just for the kids then its all good.... re-discover yourself!!!!!!!
2006-10-07 08:35:28 · answer #8 · answered by ARELY G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say "the book can be known from its title"
i do agree give it time but if you did that already then nothing much left follow your instinct ......don't let it get any worse
believe me who hit once he will hit again....who call you names once he will again....
walk out ...and remember all the world is right in front of you
take care
2006-10-07 08:31:27 · answer #9 · answered by going-to-light 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is better, spending the limited time you have in this incarnation happy or spending the time sad and miserable
2006-10-07 08:26:58 · answer #10 · answered by The Druid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋