How do you deal with longing ??

Question

I've been divorced 4 years go and since then I've never heard of my ex but sometimes I long
for him which makes me feel realy bad cause he's married & doesn't care about me any more what do i do ? how do i beat this feeling ?? plz help

Answer 1

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

Come, as thou cam'st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me!

Or, as thou never cam'st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth;
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say: My love! why sufferest thou?

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

IV been divorced for 3 years now, The longing nearly killed me. I could not get a girlfriend because I kept comparing them to her til one day I just decided to take a person as she comes when and issue arose and I rebounded i dd self talk{Counselling where u remind yourself of your own resolutions.} Now i have a wonderful fiance quite different but wonderful. Break free and float my dear, life has much to offer.

Answer 2

i'm guessing that it's not actually "him" that you long for but what was familiar and comfortable - the companionship, and once someone comes along to fill that void - you will notice [or maybe not] that you no longer "long" for him - because there will be something new and fulfilling in your life - something GREAT and spectacular - and then you'll never look back - and wonder why you did! But then there is that "in the meantime" and "in between time" - get out and meet people - take yourself out to dinner - have more get-togethers with friends and family - focus on a hobby - and put your energy into living your life to the fullest - moving on and making "you" happy! I've been told greatness is waiting for your right outside the door - and happens when you least expect it! Focus on you and what makes you GREAT and what you want out of a relationship!

Answer 3

I agree with the doctor, you have a void in your life that needs filling. Remembering the good times is one thing but obsessing over someone you can't have, is a real problem.

Filling your mind and hours with something else is going to help, believe me. My experience has been that the more I took my eyes off of myself and put them on others the smaller my problems seemed. Also, don't put yourself in situations where your mind wanders back. If you see that your evenings are the hardest, find something that keeps you busy during those times. Volunteer, get a part time job, babysit for people, just keep your days full of positive things that will dilute those feelings you are having.

And don't discount the possibility that there could be someone wonderful out there waiting for you to get over your love loss and get ready for them.

Answer 4

You are trapped in the old lust history trap. You need to break free of him and your feelings. Date other people even if it isn't easy, do the rebound guy thing. You have no future with ex and need to break free.
You have someone else out there waiting but you need to truly cut the ties that bind with the ex. Visualize the cords that connect you and then take a sharp knife and cut them.

Answer 5

well,if you are divorced means you guys never got along or some serious issue,so why do you wanna think about such a person and make your self feel miserable,he has moved on and you too move on with life,keep your self busy with work,take up some sport which will help you build your self confidence and make new friends....and live happy!!good luck!!

Answer 6

You need to get him out of your system...your not completely over him...stop reminiscing about the old days, and stop thinking about what you think you're missing...remember the reasons why he became an ex.

Answer 7

Find yourself a new man honey. And if that doesn't work perhaps counseling will . Get involved with your community, and keep yourself busy with life. Time heals all wounds.

Answer 8

It sounds like you have a void that needs filling. I recommend you get FILLED soon, that should help.