My husband works with this guy who is cheating on his fiancé. I don't know his fiancé well, but she is an acquaintance of mine. Since all the guys work together, we are all in the same circle of friends. They are supposed to be getting married in December. I always mind my own business when it comes to things like this, but do you think I should tell her. I would want someone to tell me if the shoes was on the other foot. If I tell her, I will do it anonymously because I don't want to cause problems between my hubby and the guy. So, do I mind my own business or tell her and help keep her from making one of the biggest mistakes of her life?
2006-10-07 06:33:28 · 18 answers · asked by redpeach_mi 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, I have proof. This guy often asks my hubby to go to the bar with him so he can see the girl he is cheating with, she is a waitress there. My hubby has stopped going because he thinks he is only using him, which I agree. The guy often brags about it also.
2006-10-07 06:50:24 · update #1
My hubby does not want this guy as a friend anymore, but things need to be kept civil because they work in a very dangerous environment and crap between workers could become a serious problem.
2006-10-07 06:51:32 · update #2
If it was you husband cheating you would want to know right? She deserves to know before she gets married and finds out for herself. A divorce would be harder on her than a wedding cancellation. Plus she would probably be mad if she ever found out you knew and didn't tell her.
2006-10-07 06:54:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Answer is No.
A.) There is a greater chance that she will not believe you than listen to your story. This will anger her and she will more than likely tell her future hubby who will be pissed @ your hubby.
B.) Even if she does believe you, what proof do you have? What if you are wrong? Will this guy be pissed and take it out on your husband if he finds out?
Your best bet is to let her figure it out on her own either on her own or possibly through some very small subtle hints. Every girl will say they would want to know but how many would actually listen? You love someone so much you don't want to think unsavory thoughts about your spouse to be and that will naturally cloud your vision.
Subtle hints would be something like if he went to lunch /w his mistress you could say "Hey I saw John around lunchtime at the cafe the other day but I forgot to say hi" pasue for a second and continue with "Would you mind telling him sorry I didnt speak and say Hi to your sister for me too she's pretty".. .. with the sister of course meaning the mistress. This will prompt her to ask her own questions such as "wtf I dont have a sister!!" and will keep you and hubby totally off the hook.
2006-10-07 13:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by se7en 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
common sense says to stay out of it, but if you have definite proof, then mention "i saw john with some woman at The Place.. is that his cousin?" ... if you are only going by hearsay from others(including your husband), then ignore it and keep your mouth shut ... if your husband has definite proof, then you should encourage him to tell the fiance .. if you really feel loyalty for this girl, you can close your legs til your hubby does the honorable thing. in any event, if your hubby doesn;t think its a bad thing for the friend to cheat, what does that say about your own marriage??? this is not a friend you need to worry about losing.
2006-10-07 13:44:25 · answer #3 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As hard as it is I think you should just butt out, sooner then later, hopefully she will find out. Being you don't know her and want to let her know on the sly she might not believe it, she might think that it is someone trying to break them up. Talk to your husband about it and see what he says. Let him know that you don't appreciate it, it bothers you and you wish he would have a talk with his friend. Then see what happens from there, and if he does nothing about it then you shouldn't either.
2006-10-07 13:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by lisa b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4 everyone reading this and saying not to tell her put yourself in her shoes!!!! Tell her but try not to mess up the relationship between your hubby and the jacka**. Try talking to your hubby
2006-10-07 13:42:02 · answer #5 · answered by that girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line is she should know...... you should talk to your husband, see if there is someway to have her walk in on it and then bow outta the picture..... Say if you know the guy is at the bar, why not invite the girl down their to catch him in the act?
I guess I think all women should stick together.........
2006-10-07 14:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by talk4now2006 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if ur definite the guy is cheating tell her for sure... stop her from making a huge mistake..but do it in a gentle way- even if you do it annonymously- and like the others have said it wud b gud if u cud prove it
2006-10-07 13:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by proud wife of sKk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as long as you are 100% positive I would tell her... even better I would also try to provide proof so she has it when she confronts him... that way he will not be able to dispute it.... but she has a right and a need to know before she walks down the aisle... once she knows the truth it is her decision
2006-10-07 13:40:57 · answer #8 · answered by oracle 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
just let them live their life!!!!! It's definitely not your business, life will put everything in their places. You don't know - maybe this man is just having fun with this waitress and he is really in love with his fiance but he just needs a little adventure because he is scared of getting married, that happens to man quite often. So my advice, stay out of this! You may ruin everything.
2006-10-07 13:55:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Only if you have proof. Seen with your own two eyes? A picture would help.
Maybe she already knows.
2006-10-07 13:39:53 · answer #10 · answered by X-Woman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋