my 16 year old beautiful daughter dresses and acts like a boy. I just want her to be happy, but at the same time i want my little princess back. She was never a girlie girl, but she did wear girl clothes at one time. Now she wears boxers instead of panties. I don't fight with her about it I just try to except it. I also worry about her being teased in school. If you are a teenager, or parent, with the same gender identity problem please let me know how you are dealing with this. I love my daughter soooo much and just want the best for her
2006-10-07 05:53:53 · 10 answers · asked by Adriana27 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
in behalf of your daughter, I would like to say that maybe she is comfortable with what she wears.. I am 24, and I used to dress like a boy even when I was 2 years old because I just like them..my mother used to spank me because she wants me to wear girly stuffs...growing up, I felt I was different and my classmates teased me and called me names...of course, I was so hurt...I have no friends..then, I had suicidal tendencies because I felt so lonely...I thought why can't people around me accept me the way I am...but when I went to college..I started a new image..I browsed through magazines and alas!!! I became so popular and everybody wants to be my friend...and up to now I wear girly things...I thought it would make me happy..but too bad...I am crying inside because I cannot express to the world the real me...I'm gay and until now I can't accept it...I don't want to be gay..but it is just the way I am... I am afraid no one will accept me even my mother...so I continue to live a lie...I am very attractive and a lot of guys court me but I just give them the answer I'm not ready for a relationship...so I'd say it is better to just accept your daughter for who she is....it is a very cruel world out there...when we do not even like to be like this. If you tell your daughter to change it is just like impliedly telling her "I don't like you, so change!". It hurts when we ourselves hate the way we are and those closest to us would even like us to change because we are "not normal"....It is really sad for us...but for me..I am continuing to throw smiles and waves to my friends and acquaintances...most people say I've got everything...but I'd say to myself...I've got nothing...even myself...because what I am showing is not me...
2006-10-07 06:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by merchant of venice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may never change, and you need to be prepared for that.
She may truly have a "gender issue" where she feels more comfortable and "more like a boy".
If this is the case, you cannot change it or fix it. All you can do is be supportive.
Some people hold the theory that there are more than 2 genders... that there are shades of gray in between male and female, and this is okay.
I know many people who don't fit neatly inside the "gender box" and they live happy and fulfilling lives. It may be a sign that your daughter is gay.. or it may just be that she is "less girly" than others!
I have a friend who constantly has to convince everyone that she is NOT a lesbian because of this. She's handy with tools, she doesn't wear makeup or dresses, she fixes her car, but she is still heterosexual. I know others who are "this way" and they are lesbians. It's just too soon to tell for sure and you shouldn't push the issue but let her know you love her NO MATTER WHAT.
It also could just be a form of rebellion... in which case fighting with her on it will only make it worse.
I say relax, love her, let her know she's accepted, and that's all you can do. Part of raising teens is letting go.
2006-10-07 07:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a stage that she has to keep up with the boys her age. Between the ages of 15 and 18 girl tend to be like the boys and when they realize that they have gave a few boys a run for the money. They will be little princesses again. But, giving them all your love and the best you can do for them and being there when she needs you the most is all you can do. Be glad she's not doing crack or on the street corner sell herself. At 16 I think she can hold herself with the teasing from other boys. Just relax and wait til its your time and dress her in fancy dresses. ( parent )
2006-10-07 06:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by John H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's partly the style nowadays for young females to dress like guys. Some girls at her age are gender confused and may try to state that they are either bisexual or lesbian. For majority it is just a phase and will pass. Please do not try and pass judgement on your young daughter as she is trying to cut the apron strings at the same time as gain some independence. You might want to ask her about what her sexual preferences are but be ready for the answer just in case it is a surprise to you. Best of luck to you and your daughter and I believe you will get your little princess back but that it may take another 5 - 10 years.
2006-10-07 06:02:03 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she seems like she is happy and has friends, then don't worry about it. I was a tomboy. I'm still sort of a tomboy. But anyway, like the other gal said, I have a lot of guy friends and guys always asking me out. My brother would tease me when I was young asking me, 'why don't you dress more like a girl' but it was his problem, not mine.
2006-10-07 06:11:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first component, you look disillusioned he's eighteen... Your daughter is sixteen, it is in basic terms a 2 365 days age difference. And to previous posters, no it quite is not unlawful. here in FL, a sixteen 365 days old can date/have intercourse with a guy or woman it is 21 (look up the statutes formerly you're saying i'm incorrect). Boys mature slower than females, that's why maximum women finally end up with a boy a million or 2 years older than them. Now, her sneaking him around says that she does not experience like she would be able to speak to you approximately it. it quite is as much as you to show her incorrect on that one. you may make her experience like she would be able to speak to you approximately her boyfriend. And jointly as your at it, you may have a communication approximately intercourse (in case you haven't any longer already) and determine she is familiar with data, no longer what rubbish little ones tell one yet another. no matter in case you like it or no longer, she is going to enhance up and function intercourse. At her age, you quite basically can in basic terms show her and determine she is armed with expertise. it may be prudent of you to get her set up on beginning administration. and don't ban her from having a boyfriend, that basically will lead them to forbidden fruit and all of the extra desirerable. Ask to fulfill the extra youthful guy. furnish to stress them to a action picture. Get to appreciate the folk in her existence.
2016-10-15 22:51:14 · answer #6 · answered by ranford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im like that but im 12 and boxers are really comfertable!! and most the time nobody teases on tomboys because they have alot of guy friends so dont worry about it and i never get teased on and if someone even messes with me my best friend (Teddy who is also my cousin) and all of his friends gang up on him so i wouldnt worry about it everone says its a phase but most the time you have to let her be her own person
2006-10-07 06:00:59 · answer #7 · answered by lighter 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are a mother every mother likes her child and worries about her child but you can talk to her if she does not do anything just leave her she will understand
she is trying to be cool
2006-10-07 06:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her if she's into boys or girls. be accepting of her
2006-10-07 05:56:48 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is a tomboy, she will grow out of this
2006-10-07 05:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋