I still love my estranged husband. He no longer lives with me.
I call him with the intentions of being nice and loveing. I always wind up yelling at him and now he doesn't want to come over anymore.
I don't know what I want from him anymore. I want him to love me and beg me back, but I also want him to change alot of things before he does this. He says he wil never change.
2006-10-07 05:52:31 · 12 answers · asked by michelle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Then you have your answer.....and quite frankly, if I were him, I wouldn't come back either if all you do is yell at him. I'm not being mean, but think about it......do you want him yelling at you??? You still are angry, and hurt. Give it more time, and when you can call him and be nice, then do it....but not before. You get a lot more with honey, than you do with vinegar................
2006-10-07 06:00:06 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the silly part. He told you he is what he is and left. Yet you still call him up and get frustrated because he will not kiss your butt and beg or change. If you continue it will be over permanently.
Take a hard look at your expectations. What do want from him that he is not willing to give? Are these requests even attainable?
You better figure this out if you have any intention to reconcile.
I do know that I become a lot more resistant to changing anything when I'm the only one being hung with the need to.
2006-10-07 06:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're frustrated and angry and he's not doing what you want so you fight with him.
He said he's not going to change so you need to change and move on.
It would really help you at this point to get a couple sessions of therapy to put you back on the right track.
2006-10-07 05:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want your estranged husband on your terms with changes dictated by you. that is unrealistic. people do not chnage unless they wish to change some thing about themselves that they do not like. he likes himself the way he is. you call him because you love him..why? because he is the way he is! if he were to change to what you THINK you want, he would not be the man that attracts you. he is not going to beg you to come back, what man would want you nagging at them to change this and that?
get over your controlling nature and stop trying to manipulate this man and leave him in peace. you need to see a counsellor to find out why you have this need to control your soon-to-be ex-husband. if you were doing to me what you are doing to him, i would change my phone number.
2006-10-07 06:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone forgot to leave their past in the past. If he says he will never change, I think he means it and you either accept him for how he is or you don't. Leave the bs in the past though or things will always be the same between you two.
2006-10-07 06:01:52 · answer #5 · answered by windandwater 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your sorry for what you did and you will try to stop yelling at him and maybe you should you to a shrink just to level you anger and tell him you love him or maybe go to a gym and hit a punching bag to make the anger go away or buy a punching bag . if you love him tell him and say can we get throw this together. and never give up on your dreams.
2006-10-07 05:58:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please find the strength to not CALL... Find some other activity to do when you feel weak... You cannot begin to heal if you keep running backwards... There are plenty other GENTLEMEN out there willing to love you unconditionally... Do not settle... Let him be on his way... Girfriend! Get and backbone and press on... Love is never suppose to hurt....
2006-10-07 05:58:01 · answer #7 · answered by dreamdewberrys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you are selfish and self-centered. Seems you only want it YOUR way.
You stated YOU don't even know what you want from him, how should he know what you want?
Your last paragraph tells me you need professional help.....or pray for your God to relieve you of ALL your character defects.
Just the facts mama.
2006-10-07 06:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by usaf.primebeef 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. Don't call him anymore. You may love him but it's time to say goodbye.
2006-10-07 06:09:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to accept some one for who they are not who you can make them. I'm sorry to say, if you can't accept who he is, it's time to move on.
2006-10-07 05:59:08 · answer #10 · answered by firefrost8k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋