the reason i left my husband was because he had no motivation to do anything. He didnt work and he got high all the time. All he would do was sleep all the time and not want to spend any time with my daughter and me. Am i beaing selfish for wanting to be by my self? I mean all we did was fight and not be happy. dosent my daughter deserve better then that. Shouldnt she have a father who wants to spend time with her not his pot?
2006-10-07 05:51:18 · 32 answers · asked by kristal930 k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To walk away isn't selfish... it's selfless. Having the courage to leave the known for the unknown is brave.
2006-10-07 05:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by joeiacovino 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can not change the father for your daughter, because what ever you feel children loves both parents. But leaving your husband and maybe finding another person, make happy family, can be good guide for your daughters life in the future. She will be able to see how the things should be.
Just don't keep her away from her father, let them spend some time together, if there is possibility.
2006-10-07 06:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by njanja 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are being selfish by letting your child stay in a environment like this.If you continue to live like this and the child get older what type of life will they lead. When they see dad sleeping and getting high.Has this man ever been there for you? Before you married this man you knew he had a habit and didnt provide for you.You seem to just be there for him providing him with a place to live and get high.The sad part is you have a child thats now a part of this situation. Did you think that would make him change? You see it didnt he doesnt care about you the child or himself. If this man has no money or a job how can he continue to get high. How can you allow yourself to get dressed and go to work while this man sleeps. If this man is making an effort to provide for his drug habit then he should be able to do the same thing for his family. Your time needs to be spent looking for a place for you and your child to move if this man doesnt leave. I know its hard to walk away but your not walking away from a good man you are walking away from a mess. Let your child see you happy and smiling. Let them see that its more to life than you arguing with daddy trying to get him to spend time with you. This man needs to wake up or find another woman to take care of him. And if he does dont feel bad you know what she will be getting. YOUR PROBLEM AND HEARTACHE.
2006-10-07 06:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course you and your daughter deserve better and leaving was the best thing you could do. You have to protect her from anything that can harm her both physically and mentally.
It may also be the best thing for your husband because this may be a wake-up call for him to get himself together and be a father to his daughter.
2006-10-07 05:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes.
passively smoking cannabis is really bad 4 anybody, but a lil girl.
I'm not surprised U thinking/going 2 leave him.
U've made the right choice, get as far away as possible when U get the chance.
He shouldn't B able 2 get access unless he sorts his life out & quits the Pot.
Tut Tut,
the man's a waste of space.
2006-10-07 05:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have every right to be happy. You daughter has the right to grow up in pot free environment. Even if you think she won't know and it's never in front of her. I know for a fact she will know and one day you will feel like failure as her mother when she talks about it. Your being selfish if you stay.
2006-10-07 20:43:41 · answer #6 · answered by dettie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1st of all sweetie never think your being selfish in a situation like this...everything you said was true and you had more than enough reasons to leave him. If thats all that he plans to do with his life then so be it...and unless he's willing to change and you can really see that in him..give it a 2nd chance but if not...just try your hardest to move on and be happy with your daughter. If he's gonna throw his life away just for that instead of his daughter then somthings definatly wrong with him...just try to move on honey ok...i hope everything works out for you!!
2006-10-07 05:55:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing! Yes, you, and your daughter deserve better. If he values the two of you, he will get his act together, and realize that he has lost the only two things in life that are worth having. He will straighten up, and try to win back your heart. Good Luck.....you did the right thing!
2006-10-07 05:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need counseling! chances are that you will find someone just like him again. Your one of those women like me that are addicted to worthless and abusive men! Your daughter needs a father; dont jump out of the frying pan into the fire. P.S. he was probably perfect at first. Wouldnt it be nice to see if he would be willing to go the distance for you and your daughter. Intervention is the key. I know you still love him no matter what he does. Its a sick characteristic of us abused women!
2006-10-07 06:05:31 · answer #9 · answered by brandi c 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Him not being there for you was obviously dragging you down & it isn't good for you or your daughter to constantly be in that kind of situation.
You need encouragement, not discouragement, for a relationship to be successful.
Bettering your life is not about being selfish, it's just loving yourself, caring about yourself & your daughter.
He apparently didn't care, otherwise you wouldn't have gone in a different direction.
2006-10-07 05:59:43 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋