I live in orlando fl, my husband and I have been separated for almost a month because he feels that he can't take the marriage life. there is no other person for neither of us. and even thought he says he does not want to be with me( we have two kids 9 and 7) he does not know what he wants with his life he acts like he is still here he has all of his stuff except work clothes here, he eats breakfast before taking the kids to school, he sometimes shower here the only thing he does not do in my house is sleep here or with me including no sex. I feel he is very confused, yes life has been very hard for both of us the last 3 months. I think that if I plan a nice evening just the two of us we might have a chance. By the way we have been married for 12 years now in november.
2006-10-07 04:19:16 · 8 answers · asked by Zuny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A nice dinner, in the privacy of your own home, is the best place to take him. Get a sitter for the kids, fix a meal that he loves, and after dinner , sit down and talk about your future. Don't put too much pressure on, and wear something he enjoys you seeing you wear. Good Luck....I hope it works.
2006-10-07 05:18:59 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been married almost 12 years, you have two children together, and he's just now realized that he can't take married life? What has he been doing all this time? I don't get it.
There must be something else going on that he hasn't told you. The two of you really need some communication.
When my husband and I separated for a few months, near the end of it, I met with him at a library and we talked. See, this way, we knew we couldn't get loud and start yelling at each other, neither could we walk away in a huff.
Take the day off from work, and meet at a time when your children are in school, or if you can't do that, have someone watch your children on a Saturday so you can talk without being interrupted. Ask him to meet you at your local library, and find a spot where you can talk privately. Both of you have a list of whatever problems are going on between you. When you're finished talking, you can go for lunch. Maybe then, the feelings between you will have been rekindled. Good luck.
2006-10-07 11:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrange for the children to go to a relatives or to stay with some friends.
Prepare a simple but elegant meal including appetizers and wine if you drink alcohol and maybe some mixed drinks.
Being at home will allow the both of you to actually talk. Then try to seduce him. In fact he is your husband and although it may be difficult to tell him you want to make love with him ; just do it.
See what his reaction is and then you can talk.
Don't allow any conversation about work or the children. Keep convo only about you two and jokes and stuff like this.
If he is unwilling to make love with you after such a long time there is a good chance that he already has another lover. In which case sadly, you must ask him to take all of his belongings out and tell him not to return until he is prepared to be a true husband. He is not confused. You are allowing him to come and go as he pleases and so he does exactly that.
I dare my husband to do what yours is doing and watch how quickly he will not gain access to me and the children. After 10 years you are entitled to 1/2 of everything including his retirement money plus child support per each child and also alimony if you are an at home mom. I'm sorry if that will hurt you but in the long run it will hurt you more to waste your life waiting for someone who doesn't love you and appreciate you the way a husband should.
2006-10-07 23:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are on the right track trying to make things better for the two of you and your kids.
The problem is what does your husband think?
I know you would like to make it all better with one night of romance and talking but since he took the step to move out he must have allot going on in his mind that you do not know about. The fact that he moved out say allot. I can say that I was married for over 20 years and I considered moving out for more than 5 years before I took the plunge. I wanted to make sure that I was not just having a bad month or year and had done everything I could to stay.
I would recommend that you take it slow and if there is any way possible you should talk to a professional.
Worse than being apart is being together in one house but not in one heart.
Please do go out with him and have a great time. Help you both to remember the reason you got together in the first place, but do not have sex. You need to get back on the same page for the future and then come back together as one loving couple for the rest of your lives. It is more work my way but it will last longer.
Good Luck!
2006-10-07 11:30:05 · answer #4 · answered by dd_otis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take him to somewhere that has special meaning to both of you-somewhere you were both really happy and you have good memories. It will help to remind you both why you married each other in the first place. Just a word of warning though-if your husband really does want out, nothing you can do will stop him. You're just putting yourself through a lot of heartbreak bending over backwards for a man who obviously doesn't see how wonderful you are. You may need to face the fact that it's over-plain and simple. If that's the case, you need to get him to move his stuff out-it's not fair to you or the kids for him to be popping in and out whenever he pleases.
2006-10-07 11:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by brainy_blonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is so sad.... I would take him to a restaurant where they have private tables....i am not too familiar with the Orlando area, but check and see if you have a Melting pot restaurant and request a secluded table. It's a fondue restuarant that has burners in the table and most tables are completely seperated from each other. It is really romantic, that way you can talk about things, eat some cheese, wine, and chocolate. and HOPEFULLY work things out. GOOD LUCK.
2006-10-07 11:23:29 · answer #6 · answered by Britta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like he need to relieze you and the kids are his life and it'a a life he chose. deal with it . probally mid life crisis,,,or 7 year itch came a little late. good luck
2006-10-07 11:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Rooster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take him to the bedroom and do some really kinky stuff to him that will reignite the passion
2006-10-07 11:22:00 · answer #8 · answered by rangerider223 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋