My fiance wants a 3-some. How do you ask some1, I never had to ask & who. I don't want my friends 2 know?

Question

I've done it b4 in the past but my lifestyle was different then. I was living what you might call "The fast life" drugs, alcolho, men and women. I have a daughter now, and my meaning for life has changed. I'm afraid if I don't, he'll prolong getting married, and if I do we'll end up not getting married. I want to so that he can stop asking but I don't think it's good for our relationship.

Answer 1

This is the first sign he is not respecting your values. What a putz. If he prolong your marriage maybe its for the best.

Answer 2

Trust is important... to do a 3some.
You can only do this if you are sure there's absolute trust in your relationship, but it's more likely this will be something he might hold against you in the future. I don't know how long you've been with this guy, but if it's not too long just send him to take a hike.
After all it's just a sexual fantasy and sexual fantasies move into place after several years of being together, when there's enough trust (something like "no matter what we do to get a turn on, we'll always be together").
I imagine you told your fiance about your past and he's curious about it and it turns him on, but if you tell him you don't want any of that anymore, the fact of wanting to try this means no respect for you from him.

Answer 3

You know better so you do better, right? You left that lifestyle behind because it was not good for you. And I'm just guessing this but your fiance probably knows about your past and wants to take advantage of it and is using it against you...i.e. "You did it before, so why can't you do it now"

If you think he will break up with you over your refusal for a threesome, then he's not the one for you. It's like "if you love me, you'll sleep with me" that we used to hear in highschool. Love does not hurt.

It will hurt the relationship because you don't really want to do it. If you go ahead with it anyway, you'll build resentment, and he'll lose respect. It'll be the long road to a break up anyway.

If you don't want to do it, he'll be disappointed but may get over it and you can keep it as a fantasy. If this is a deal breaker, then he's telling you that your marriage bed is not worth respecting. It's a red flag. See the flag? What are you going to do with it?

I'm not saying break up with the guy. But this is serious stuff requiring your attention before you marry and bring him into your daughter's life. I'm sure your daughter is your priority...and this kind of lifestyle may not be the best for her either.

Answer 4

Do not marry a woman that wants to cheat on you openly before the wedding. If she wants a threesome now, she will not want to stop after the wedding. She might want one on the honeymoon. I am serious. Sin is sin. It cannot hide and it cannot go away on its own. If you marry her then you will be entering a Christless relationship----I do not care what church you are married in or how holy the preacher is that performs the ceremony---if you and the woman are not right with God before you step up to the altar, then the marriage will fail. there is no sense in getting marriage just to get a divorce. Marriages based on sex and worldly pleasure have a 100% chance of failing---just look at Hollywood; all those marriages are based on money, looks and sex, and they all fail.

Answer 5

it's not worth it trust me fantasies are just that,not reality especially when children are involved they are the ones who will be hurt in the end.try other ways to spice it up in bed but leave other people out of it.maybe it's just noyt time to get married, it's a sacred bond betwen a man and a woman..not a man and a woman and somebody else.

signed dr.phil wanna be

Answer 6

then dont do it It can surely destroy your relationship He isnt respecting you...I wouldnt even marry someone like that...trust is important..