I am not sure i want to be married???????How??

Question

Communicate with my husband? I am 18 years old he is 21 and we got married after 2 months of knowing dating each other in vegas as a joke. And due to a lot of drinking that same day have a baby on the way. We have been married for month s told our parents both feel we should move in and stay married and we had our first big fight recently. I have to keep fighting the urge not to throw a fit and cry?Also sometimes my husband speaks to me as if i were a child? i really hate it! My husband wants to stay married and i feel out numbered.

My parents are not being helpful they say i made my bed and i have to either live with it or fix it by myself!

I want to stay in college!just like him!

Answer 1

This mess is really your fault. Marriage is not a joke. Sex is not a joke. As you can see sex = baby. Fights are normal in every relationship, getting the problems solved is a way to have a good marriage. Sounds like you are a premature 18 year old. Give this marriage some time you will be surprised to find that perhaps a stupid thing can turn into a wise thing with time.

Answer 2

I want... I want... I want .... Grow up, For years you have been telling your parents you are an adult. Well, adults shoulder responsibility and learn from their mistakes. You have conceived a child so its not just YOU this time. You can do the responsible mature thing and put some effort into raising this child you have conceived in the immaturinty of selfish hedonism. Why does your husband treat you as a child? Probably because you are still acting like one. This is not a boo-boo your mommy can kiss and make it go away. This was a conscious decision on your part to drink, to have sex, to marry ... all actions that are supposed to be practiced by responsible adults. All the selfish whining has got to stop and right now. You made these choices. and you have involved at least 2 other people in these choices (your husband and your baby assuming you wont have twins). You are fortunate that your parents are being supportive of the marriage and that your husband is an honorable man.

We all may seem harsh to you, but adulthood requires responsibility and accepting the consequences of your actions. Your baby is an innocent victim of your thoughtlessness. At least your husband is honorable and has every intention of making this work. I suggest you forget about college for a while and work on becoming a responsible wife and mother. perhaps you will be able to return to college and finish your education when you have grown up enough to value it and realize the reason for college is to educate not to party and socialize with friends.

Take what courses you can online (may I suggest accounting and parenting as two you will need now?) and change your attitude about this inconvenient child. Perhaps the baby can teach you about what it means to be responsible. Obviously, your parents didn't get through to you about it. Stop looking at your marriage as an adversarial relationship, its a partnership that is going to demand some mature, rational and reasonable thinking. Playtime is over. Outnumbered? maybe ... Outclassed? definitely!!!

Answer 3

You need to grow up you are grown and made some bad choices and i agree you made your bed then fix this. Staying with someone becasue everyone says too makes no sense. Be a woman and make some choices. So far they have been bad ones. Make some good choices and leave him if you are not happy and raise a baby and find someone later on in life. You are to young to get married and you proved that when you got drunk and then marrried in Vegas. You are going to be a mother and that should be the focus of your life right now. Your relationship is based on all the wrong reason's and you have to make some choices. Hey do us all a favor think before you do anything else stupid.

Answer 4

You are both just kids compared to the longevity of life. If you are not happy or think you screwed up leave him and go back to school or college or work. It doesn't matter if your 18 or 80 if you made a mistake and are not happy do something about it. Go back home or start fresh in another suburb or state. If your parents are so dam heartless; they sound selfish and glad to have the house to themselves. A baby is no reason to live with someone who makes you feel sad. I wish you all the best and I wouldn't stay as it will not get any better with the pressures of being parents, finances, and not really knowing or loving each other.

Answer 5

See, that's the problem. 18, wow! I bet your parents tried to talk you out of it too, didn't they? But as an ADULT, you thought that you knew better. I did the same sh!t, but I was a little older. Folks tried to talk to me but I wouldn't listen. I had the "DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO, I'LL SHOW YOU" attitude. Yeah, I really showed them alright! Went through two damned divorces because of this attitude.
I bet you thought that everything was going to be peaches & cream. I'm in love, life is great, blah blah blah. Never thought about those fights did you? Why? Because you KNEW BETTER! Of course you're treated like a child, you are. Having pubes doesn't make you an adult. That comes with wisdom and experience. And at 18 you have neither. I wasn't really mature until I was in my upper 20's. Look at you now, frustated AND pregnant. WTF are you doing pregnant? Sh!t, you've barely began your life and now you're going to be strapped down with a kid. No fun, no parties, no traveling, no education, you'll never be able to get a good job now. I've seen way too many kids fall into this same trap. But hey... you knew better. I agree with the parents, you've made your bed, now lie in it. Or you can get an abortion and get divorced and start living life before it's too late. And pls don't tell me that an abortion is against 'your religion'. I guess that premartial sex was too. Be smart and get the hell out while you can. If not, I see a lot of heartache and regret on your horizon. I can smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed your way.

Answer 6

In my opinion you really should try and make it work. You haven't been married that long what will hurt to try a little longer. Believe me everyone fights. This will not be your first nor the last. It is just human nature. I have been married for 8 years and been with him for 12 years. I will tell you from experience that marriage is not a walk in the park. Especially, since you got married so quick. Yall need more time to understand each other. This isn't about yall anymore. Not since you got pregnant. Yall, need to at least try to fix your problems together. Mostly communicate with each other. Try to make it work and then if later you decide that your not in love or if you just can be together than get a divorce. But yall need more time. Yall owe it to the baby to at least try. Good Luck.

Answer 7

GIRL, MAYBE UR PARENTS R RIGHT. IT WAS YOUR CHOICE. BUT U CAN ALWAYS DIVORSE IF UR NOT HAPPY. EVERYBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY AND SEEK HAPPINESS! THE DIFFICULT PART HERE IS THAT U WILL SOON BE PARENTS. I'M SURE U BOTH WILL LOVE THE KID, BUT IF U R NOT HAPPY, DON'T TRY TO KEEP THE MARRIAGE JUST FOR THE KID.
OTHERWISE, U JUST HAD UR FIRST FIGHT. PROBABLY THAT MADE U FEEL INSECURE. EVERY COUPLE HAVE PROBLEM AND FIGHTS. AS LONG AS U KEEP THE COMMUNICATION ALIVE AND BEING HONEST WITH EACH OTHER, U CAN HAVE A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP. NEXT TIME U FIGHT ABOUT SMTH, BETTER WAIT SOME TIME UNTIL BOTH OF U CALM DOWN AND THEN TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEM. AFTER ALL UR A TEAM, U SHOULD DEAL WITH UR PROBLEMS TOGETHER!

Answer 8

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Answer 9

You tried to grow up before you were ready so your parents are trying to show you tought love. Get the marriage anulled, file with the State to make sure the guy supports the child and file for State aid. Show up at your parents with all the clothes you can carry and tell what you are doing. I hope they respect your decision and decide to help you. They just want you to take your first "grown up" steps. Obviously you did not listen to them before or you wouldn't be in this mess, so hopefully you will now.

Answer 10

LOOKS LIKE THE JOKE IS ON YOU!!........LMFAO.

Yeah, Uhm!?.....I'm not sure I really give a ****, but you really do act like a child and I hope you grow up soon for the sake of your baby. Next time you are in silly mood and have the urge to get married as a joke, take a condom and stretch it over your head...........What trailer park do all you morons come from!?