i have a 13 and 14 year old grandaughters. they are good girls with 2 much freedom.?

Question

parents r divorced and they live with dad. they have become friends with a 19 year old boy and the 14 year old is crazy about a 17 year old boy both boys of which are friends. my son has forbidden the 17 year old to stay away from his daughter. even went to police. to no avail. he is a volenteer firefighter, his father is a cop, and nothing stops him from being with my granddaughter. the 19 year old is attracted to my 13 year old grandaughter and she hangs out with him every minute she can. dad has to work till late 8 at least. thats when they look to disobey him and see these guys. social workers and cops have already been involved please help with subjections. thanks gerri

Answer 1

I was in a similar situation when I was a teen. I made a lot of mistakes. The more my mom tried to control me the more out of control I got. Eventually I grew up, matured, and got a good education. My advice to you is this. You can work with your son to help have an adult around when he is working. That may help with the sneaking out. The more you put these young men off limits the more attractive you make them. I'm not saying to let them run free but don't be excessive with the restrictions either. Maybe compromise, maybe they can see the boys in group situations only. The girls will eventually think the boys are jerks and dump them. The most important thing you can do is be there for them. Regardless of what happens let them know that you love and support them. Be a source of comfort and a place they can always turn to. This may not resolve the current situation but it will let the girls know that they always have someone to go to. The last thing you want is for them to feel alienated and alone. This will allow these boys and other friends to get a stronger hold and influence over them. My final piece of advice is to be open and honest with them regarding sex, birth control, and disease prevention. This will give them the tools to not be bound to these boys for life. Good luck.

Answer 2

Do the girls have anyone to look after them while he is at work? They are not responsible enough to be alone by your question. While it may be hard for you to do, file a report with DSS and if you do it enough something will be done. I know it is not what you want to do, but it is better then them ending up pregant, and being kids having kids. Your son also should get a "babysitter" to stay with them. They are probably doing like crap in school also, right? If I were your son with this problem there would be no need to call the police as I would have a heart to heart talk with the boys where no one was around, and I think that the matter would be resolved very quickly. He is in for some very troubling times, he should make it known to his girls that HE IS the parent by whatever measures it takes.

Answer 3

Usually when teenage girls get a fixation on older guys, it's because their father isn't spending enough time with them. Your son needs to make a plan to spend QUALITY time with his girls. Yes, he'll be tired when he gets home at 8pm; but teens can easily stay up late. So he should rent a movie they'd like to see, pop up some popcorn, and have a movie night each week. He should take them shopping (find a store that's open until 10-11pm) one night a week (have a spending limit); take them for a spin to a local fast-food restaurant; go for a walk around the neighborhood. There are tons of things they can do together (just two hours a day would make a huge difference). He'll probably get some resistance at first; but his daughters need him to be a focal point in their lives. They crave and need his attention and affection. He's got to step up to the plate. He should have a homework night... when he sits with them and helps with homework. He needs to keep these girls busy and close to him. He must approach this change casually, patiently, and without anger or resentment. The next five years are going to fly by... he will be so glad that he took the time to give these girls, his daughters, his attention.

Answer 4

get them in some sore of after school program, or a job. Something that forces them to be accountable. Don't just let them chill at home by themselves while dad isn't home. Of hire then a babysitter then enforces the rules. The are 13 and 14. Be a parent. Take away those options.

Answer 5

just need to be honest with the kids,, tell them about sex, and it doesnt matter about protection etc... and also if it keeps up,, I would get her on the pill, of course it is sex with a minor with the 19 yo, and you could call that card on him, and tell him you will call the FBI, ( I like to use that on Cop kids, since they seem to think they can get away with anything,)

knowledge is power and the more open you are about love and broken hearts and fill their heads with waiting and such,, the better off they will be,, all you can do is give them the knowledge and pray they make the right choice which we know at that age is hard to do

Answer 6

Looks like you are doing everything you can. My advice to you is to go to the Judge of all Judges.... God is above all things.... Pray that God will protect the girls and the the boys will find other interests that will take them away from the girls. Prayer should really be the first thing that we do but, it is somehow always the last.

Answer 7

Rain down on them with an iron fist of fury like no other human soul has dared to see before

Answer 8

all should hang out with their own age group.the PARENTS are responsible for watching their children at all times and if they can't they should find a respectful person who can...bored children find trouble....