I have just left my husband and it has been realy hard. He dosent seem to understand why I left. Every time I take my daughter over to visit him he always wants to talk to me about when im commin back. Its really hard to tell him that it is over and Im not commin back. I feel really bad because he dosent make me happy and I just want to move on. How do I move on when I want him to be ok
2006-10-07 02:57:27 · 15 answers · asked by kristal930 k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
great question,, and very hard to answer, =
I think you need to be honest with him. and give him the chance to move on too. by not being honest. you are leaving him with hope, and that's not fair to him or yourself.
It is very hard to move on, have often wished i had the guts to do it. but i don't so here i sit..
good luck...
2006-10-07 03:05:36 · answer #1 · answered by Kismitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is we can't really answer this question because we have no idea why you left your husband in the first place.
I can say this if you didn't love him enough to stay with him then you shouldn't feel bad about leaving him. You can't make yourself love someone just because they don't want to let go of the past. Chances are he doesn't really love you either, he is just hurt or his pride is getting the best of him and he wants you back like a possession.
Do what makes you happy. Not what makes him happy. It's your life and life is short. So life your life to the fullest without him.
2006-10-07 03:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by greeneyedijay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you married him and said for better or worse and now even though you have a child you want to move on because he doesn't make you happy. What are you looking for? Better sex?
You are taking the child's father from her, because you are selfish. Do you think there's someone better out there that will love you more than he does. Let me tell you something, if you find one that is good in bed, you just wait, because eventually sex will be not the most important thing anymore and it will turn boring like your first husband. Don't you know that most of the guys who are absolutely amazing in bed, are generally jerks.
Love is what counts in a marriage, but you obviously never loved him. Throwing away something when there's a child involved is a terrible waste. You could go to counselling or just suck it up.
Life is about commitment and sometimes its not a bowl of cherries but the most important thing in your life is your child and not you.
2006-10-07 03:11:14 · answer #3 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you divorce is finally he will get the hint that you are done and are not going to come back to him. It is always hard to leave the one that you loved.. but if you aren't happy in the relationship it is best to get out of it for the sake of the child.. It isn't good for children to see there parents not happy.. Takes alot away from what you could be giving them because they never have your full attention when you aren't happy your mind just isn't in it..
I have been divorced from my first husband for 22 years and he still asked me why.. so they will never understand even when you tell them why..
Mine says i don't remember that.
Once you get back on your feet and get your life going in the right direction again.. he will be fine.. you don't have to worry about him.. try to just be friends with him if he will let you.. it will make the sharing of the kids alot easier...
it will also get easier as time goes by and he understands that you aren't coming back to be with him..
Get your divorce going.. go on with your life.. some day you will find someone that you are going to be happy with but don't rush it.. it takes time to get over these things and you don't want to take along baggage into another relationship with you..
get over him first.
Take care of you, and you will find true love and happiness.
2006-10-07 03:16:00 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister has a similar probablem. She must be independant yet would not favor to leave my mom on my own. I recommend telling your mom that in six months you're shifting out. That way your mom received't imagine "Wow my newborn in simple terms took off to leave me". be particular your mom knows your staying with her because you want to, as antagonistic to staying there even as your attempting to face up on your ft financially. For the first twelve months or 2 flow to an position of living complicated or employ a house that's totally on the point of your mom. believe me travelling your mom each day or 2 turns into pleasant even as she would not dictate your existence anymore. Your mom will nevertheless sense loved as long as you're making an attempt to stay close and visit her 3-5 cases per week.
2016-12-04 09:07:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you've got to sit down with him and tell him that you want to move on. You have got to give him some sort of closure. He's in limbo and probably in denial. Be honest with him so you can get over your own guilt and he can go his own way. If he was a bad guy, then hell with him...otherwise, you need to be on the same page with him. Especially since your going to be dealing with him when it comes to your daughter. Good Luck, and Be Happy.
2006-10-07 03:07:49 · answer #6 · answered by poodlemama1965 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't honor your commitment to your husband, what's there to move on to? You weren't put here to seek your own happiness. You were put her to fulfill the plan and purpose for which God has given you life. Part of that plan is to provide the best home you possibly can for your husband and little daughter.
2006-10-08 14:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it's over, it's over and you're not responsible for how he handles it. Be honest, tell him you're not coming back and you will only discuss your daughter with him. There is nothing more to talk about. The sooner you make that clean break, the better off you'll be.
2006-10-07 03:40:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be considerate of the hurt he is going through. And if you are human it will cause you to hurt for him. You have to do what is right for you , and then move on in your own life. The best way to get over you would be another woman in his life. Maybe fix him up? And maybe there is another woman out there who will see all in him , you used to see.
2006-10-07 03:05:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him. You probably still have some feeling for him or you wouldn't care how it effected him. It will still hurt but you must be honest if you want to move on. You will most likely feel bad but that's expected from a caring person.
2006-10-07 03:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋