Me and my husband have been together for almost 6 years. I look at him and I still think he is soooo HOT, but when it comes down to having sex with him it grosses me out. He's really good at it, but I've lost that connection with him.
2006-10-07 02:46:57 · 27 answers · asked by jessica s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you can't stand having sex with him but you still think he's hot....there is a deeper rooted problem or issue that you have going on in your marriage and you are not dealing with it.
If you can't talk to him or get past whatever it is that's bothering you and it is obviously affecting your sexual drive!!! Then I would suggest you get out of this relationship because it won't get better by doing nothing.....things just go down hill and keeps getting worse.
Why wouldn't you want to fix what is broken, and re-new your sexual drive again?? Sounds like there is still some sort of spark that you have for him,or you would't still think he's hot when you look at him. LOL
2006-10-07 04:13:04 · answer #1 · answered by "N"saysable 1iric 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if you've ever watched the fourth season of "The Simple Life" with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, you'd know that the girls went to couple's houses and saw what it was like to be a housewife. In one episode, they went to a house and the couple said they did little things to keep the spark going. So you don't necessarily have to have sex to keep the connection, spend time with each other and do something besides sex. There's PLENTY of things you can do. Just be creative and use your imagination! And when you feel that you have a better connection, then go on to sex again.
2006-10-07 10:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think long-term relationships go through ups and downs. It is one thing to not be as interested as you used to be. However if you find him physically attractive and he's good at sex but it literally grosses you out, there's something else involved here. Has he done something to hurt you, lose your trust, embarrass you, etc.? Maybe you feel that you've forgiven him but deep down you feel resentment about something.
This happened to me with one boyfriend at the end - too many bad things had happened between us and I just didn't want him the way I used to. (You point out that you think he is hot, but do not mention much about your feelings, except that a connection is lost. I think feelings have more to do with sex than a lot of us like to admit.) Good luck to you!
2006-10-07 09:59:16 · answer #3 · answered by Sinner & Saint 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is common for one mate to be more interested in sex, than the other, but it is not common to be turned off to it, unless you find your mate, or the act of sex, revolting. You may find him highly attractive, but you are turned off by the sex; the exchanging of fluids, the sweat, the mess, the wet spot, etc. This is simply your internal way of expressing your desire for less sex.
Thus you need to think about all the negatives you have allowed yourself to mentally have built up against it, and start looking for some positives within those negatives. For it is true that every cloud has a silver lining, and thus those positives can be found, if you truly desire to find them.
2006-10-07 10:00:50 · answer #4 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think dis is d serious problem u got.every relationship should have a commitment.it has been 6 yrs nd u didnt have a sex if u love him by heart u should be with him.sex is a natural process nd also a physical requirement.if u really need ur love 2 be wid u whole life just get close 2 him physically.sex is the another way 2 express love.i think u dont need any doctor u just need a deep advisor.love is a great feeling.dont let it go.best of luck.
2006-10-07 10:36:49 · answer #5 · answered by seher 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound like my wife. We have been married 38 years and it has been 4+ since we have done anything in bed. She refuses to go to a counselor, and a doctor. I have been to one, but I was told that one person cannot do it alone, it is a sharing thing together.
I have even mentioned that if I do not get it at home, where am I suppose to go get it. She has replied to me, just bring the money home.
Now, I am seriously thinking about doing it, because I love sex.
2006-10-07 11:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two suggestions:
1) Look into this as perhaps a physical problem. See your doctor and explain how you feel. You may need hormone supplements. It may be some other physical issue.
2) Talk to a counselor who specializes in couples. Explain how you feel. You may be acting out feelings that you buried years ago without realizing it.
2006-10-07 09:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women just go through this honey , loose interset an all. There are reason for it all , usually. So you need to look inside yourself an ask why you are going through this. There is a root to every problem , including this one. There are also pills for women now who loose interest , did ya know that? Counseling can be so expensive , so first look deep inside yourself and ask why you are feeling negitive about all this.
2006-10-07 09:52:49 · answer #8 · answered by lucy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get some counseling, even if you go alone. Some couples have very different drives, but unless you can maintain that connection with him, you won't have that deep intimacy that keeps couples together for a lifetime.
2006-10-07 10:03:34 · answer #9 · answered by knowitall 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's hot to you and he does it good, then you're blocked by something mentally or emotionally. Do you desire him when you see him looking hot and sexy?
If not, it could be hormones. If you're on the pill, your system may have changed. Talk to your gynecologist first. Then go talk to a sex therapist.
2006-10-07 09:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋