I just found out yesterday for sure that my fiance had a three month relationship with a girl at work. He got both of us pregnant at the same time...that's why he wanted me to get an abortion...both of us got an abortion...our kids would have been two weeks apart from each other.
Anyways, me and the other woman met up and we talked and we confronted my fiance/her boyfriend yesterday (he was shocked)...he could not lie once we confronted him face to face...He tried to get back with both of us and told both of us that he loved us and wanted a family with us...We both realized that he is a complete liar and will never change...
How have you gotten over someone who cheated on you? I mean I loved him so much...so did she...he was telling me that we were to be married in 6 months and move in together and he was telling her that he was going to move in with her in 6 months....
I can't eat, or sleep, I feel sick....both me and the other woman have to get tested....
2006-10-07 02:43:29 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Neither one of us is physically ugly...not in a long shot...
2006-10-07 02:48:59 · update #1
I respect the fact that you blame your fiance and not this other girl, so many guys get away with cheating because the girls blame the other woman and try out of some kind of spite or ego trip to hold on to "their man". He is the one that screwed up with both of you. You are so much better off without him and lucky you found out before you got married. Realize that it is him, not you that was the problem and you can move on in time. It will hurt and be hard for you to trust again, but you can do it! Good Luck.
2006-10-07 02:51:21 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it girl you don't want someone that would do this with the both of you at the same time and be telling you both this at the same time.. Sad to say but it is a good deal you got the abortion both of you.. Now you can move on and find someone that really cares about you and he has no holds on you because of a baby..
It still amazes me that you girls don't use birth control to stop this crap from happening.. That is why the old saying goes marriage first and then the babys.. Know what i mean.. Even that some times don't work out.. but you have a better chance of not being left behind with a baby to raise on your own... get your selves on the pill or some kind of birth control.. condoms don't work because they always forget to use them.. or they have a hole or something ..
Good deal you are both going to go and be tested for any dieseses he may be passing around.. who knows who else he was with at the same time too..
Best way to get over him.. is to think of him as some freak of nature that only is out to get what he can.. you can't love someone like that. knowing he will never be totally yours that he will always be out playing with someone else.. Trust never can be retrieved again with this guy so find someone who will respect you and just want you. There are plenty of decent guys out there that would love to have you girls .
MOVE ON>>
2006-10-07 02:58:59 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a cheater and a bad man.When he told you and the other woman to get an abortion (you and her),then you need to have the picture who is him.Made an abortion is to kill a baby.He never will be a good father or husband.You and the other woman need to run away from this bad man.God will give you and the other woman a real man,a good man and husband;not that bad man.I will pray that you and the other woman will be okay after get testing.If you marry with this man,you will live a real nightmare,he is a cheater,cheaters never change.Good luck,open your eyes and mind.Remember that you and the other woman are victims of this bad man.How more women this man did or will do the same as he did to you?Think good please.
2006-10-07 03:05:17 · answer #3 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH, DEAR, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT... I KNOW IT'S AWFUL! BUT A GOOD SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON HONESTY! OTHERWISE U WILL NEVER BE HAPPY.
I KNOW IT'S REALLY FRUSTRATING AND PAINFUL WHEN U FIND OUT THE ONE U LOVED MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF CHEATED ON U. IT SHOWS U HOW STUPID U WERE TO TRUST HIM. BUT DON'T BLAME URSELF. U HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY AND U DESERVE SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU 110%!
THE GOOD THING IS THAT U R OUT OF THERE. THIS COULD LAST A LOT LONGER AND IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PAINFUL. SO TURN ANOTHER PAGE AND LEAVE HIM IN THE PAST. HE WAS A DISRESPECTFUL TO U AND UR FEELINGS. THAT'S NOT HOW A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE. I'M SURE U HAD GOOD , EVEN FANTASTIC HAPPY MOMENTS TOGETHER. BUT U WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TRUST HIM AGAIN. EVEN IF U FORGIVE HIM AND GET BACK WITH HIM, U WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HE DID TO U! HE MADE U KILL UR UNBORN BABY, COS OF HIS OWN ISSUES!
IT'S NOT UR FAULT THAT HE WAS AN A S S H O L E SO JUST GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE!
2006-10-07 02:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by Stella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, it sounds terrible.
I have no personal experience, but when my Dad had an affair my Mum was willing to give him a chance, but she said that she didn't in the end because he showed no remorce for what he did, and she'd be better off without him. He's now married to the woman he had the affair with - for about 13 years.
There's no easy way to get over it. You just need to get on with life, do things that keep your mind off of him, or her. Time will heal the wounds aslong as you let it.
2006-10-07 02:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by RSJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I was lucky in a sense. My husband was abusive and that is why I filed for divorce. I always suspected he was cheating but he'd swear he wasn't. Suddenly, all these women came out of the woodwork, telling me that he had girlfriends in all these other states, as well as our home state. How did i feel? I felt as if I made the right decision filing for divorce. I didn't feel hurt as I was long past that. However, what you are feeling is very painful. You need to exorcise him from your mind and only remember what he did to you, as painful as it may be to relive it. You need to burn into your brain what a worthless cheating liar he is and that you deserve much more. It will take time but you'll get through it.
2006-10-07 02:49:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lioness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, u should thank God u got an abbortion..
Now, Listen... Though u loved this guy n'everything.. 'he went n'B!*c*ed around with another gurl.. this meanz he'z obviously not worth sharing ur life with... Imagine if u knew this alil too late, after ur baby waz born .. or after u got married to him & a spent a good part of ur life with him.. im sure matterz would be much worse. I know it hurtz, but at least u know now. u were true, u loved him & waz real with him , & he let u down .. he'z just not worth it . i've been there b4 & i know how it feelz... U just have to realize "who'z" the lozer here ... if u really think about it , leaving him iz actually a good thing in ur life, coz u deserve someone who lovez u & adorez u .. he proved 2u he'z nothin' but slim! why should u be the one feelin this pain??? it'z hiz loss he lost u. ofcourse u'll need time to heal &forget ,,, but trust me on this, with each day passing by, ur pain will go less.. & ull get over everything .. try to live an active life, go out.. meet friendz.. do anything.. time will pass & ull meet someone else who truly deservez u .. itz not the end of the world.. maybe God wated this to happen for a reazon, maybe ur true love iz still out there.. who knows?..... everything happenz for a reazon..itz just not the right time for u 2know yet ... but like everything in life .. this pain ur feelin' will sooner or later fade away & ull get over this S.O.A.B & meet an amazing person who'll love u more than life itself. u deserve much better than this guy. u just have to believe it . we all go through stuff like this, & 9 outa 10 ppl get over it & end up finding & fallin inlove with a MUCH better person than thier ex. Ull wake up one day, thinkin of this guy & askin' urself "what the hell waz i thinkin'"!!
2006-10-07 03:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by CupCake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How terrible. I'm sorry. I can relate...
It takes a Long time. I finally found the perfect man. I still have to be careful, though, because I have a tendency to accuse and imply he might commit some infidelity. I have to restrain myself from trying to keep him under my thumb. I don't want to punish him because my ex husband was a cheat.
My boyfriend is so understanding, though, and realizes I am trying to grow. Thankfully, he overlooks my mistakes and has really helped me trust again.
2006-10-07 02:48:26 · answer #8 · answered by Shaken Not Stirred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, thank God that it is over. Dont go and do anything drastic. Take time for yourself, explore your emotions and anger, and learn to deal with them. Dont worry about trying to get back at him, because you dont want to lower yourself to his level. Just take care of yourself..You do have the other girl to talk to, and that is a plus, because she knows exactly what you are going through, and you dont have that in some situations. Talk to her, and you both will be stronger. Simple advice, i know. But its the right way to cope. You will be stronger, and you will know what to do next time to avoid similar situations.
2006-10-07 02:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by Elly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for u.Well u could go 2 a weeken spa.U could date someone else, but tell him not 2 get u prenat.
2006-10-07 02:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by jobbyp_014 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋