my ex girlfriend was ..... i cant even say it cos it upseting me. she was ...... by her ex before me and im so upset (not with her) and so angry all i want to do at the mo is find this guy a kill him!!!!
although she my ex we still very close friends. i fill weide it almost as if i fill drunk and numb. i dont know where to turn or what!!!!! please help????
2006-10-07 01:42:09 · 13 answers · asked by alan h 3 in Health ➔ Men's Health
omg thats so sad :'( its really sweet that you care. just be there for her. thats what would help me get through it.
2006-10-07 04:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by lhsbeachbabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do something stupid going for a run and doing push-ups will help fend off your frustration.
As it goes, if she doesn't report it (whatever it is - sexual violation included) then nothing can be done, legally. The victim has to come foward and make a statement. The best you can do is support her, try and persuade her to take further action if she wants and let her know you are there - if you care enough to do so.
I lived with someone who said she was gang raped (more than two decades ago) and all she did was bring it up at opportune moments for sympathy.
At first you give them the 'I'm so sorry look' and then when you hear about it time after time you start to think they're lying too get attention - especially if they don't go beyond just saying it and shy away from details when you ask questions.
She'd tell all my guests when they came over. They were complete stangers so it wasn't like she was confiding in someone for support. It became the 'take pity on me' routine. She'd just say it and give no details.
I gave her support centre and help groups to call and go to. I even offered to go with her and gave her a lot of encouragement and support to get help. Even if she didn't report it, at least take steps to regain control of your life right?
It was a very frustrating and depressing two years - it really does drag you down and suck the life out of you.
In the end she didn't do anything to help herself so I was led to believe she was just saying it for attention.
I just thought if she was really upset about it she'd do something about it. Even if it was a single phone call to just talk to someone on a counselling helpline. At least she would have taken one step at least.
Can't help someone if they can't/won't/don't help themselves right?
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, do what you can to be supportive. Be what she needs you to be, her rock, her whatever, but if you find that it isn't helping then consider that perhaps nothing was broken and therefore it doesn't need to be fixed.
She'll find her own way in her own time if she feels inclined. Just be there and if you ever find that you've had enough, put in some distance.
2006-10-07 11:10:35 · answer #2 · answered by thespian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may be mad but you must come to terms. the old saying it takes two.
myself has gone through something similar. I am married to the same girl now. Don't let it eat you away, show her that you are the best at everything and she does not need anyone else accept you.
if that does not work just cherish each moment you spend with her, and don't ruin it, each time if you treat her right she will realise how you are and wont want nothing else.
Talk to her what ever you do don't lose your temper.
Be honest, it sounds like you still love her so tell her now...
Always expect the worse so anything better will blow you away.
Best of luck and be strong
2006-10-07 01:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly you ought to bear in recommendations that this has not something to do with you, those letters are a ingredient of HIS historic previous. You have been unpacking and unexpectedly desperate to study his own letters, it wasn't an twist of destiny - you have been being nosy. He in all possibility keeps those previous letters using fact they convey decrease back some friendly recommendations. many human beings prefer to maintain previous letters for a similar reason, it is commonplace. i assume you already knew he wasn't a virgin once you met him, so which you have not any reason to be disappointed. All of this passed off formerly you bought together. issues are diverse now. in case you prefer to circumvent any have faith subjects you ought to forget approximately approximately those letters. in any different case he's going to think of you're a loopy bunny boiler, and sweetness why the heck he desperate to circulate in with you. His previous relationships are none of your business enterprise. enable it circulate, and talk approximately enjoying the hot existence you create together. :-)
2016-10-18 23:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by comesana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand where you're coming from simply cause I've been raped twice myself.. and i told my husband for the only reason that he was my first bf and he knew that but he noticed i wasn';t trembling or anything .. ok is take two but you gotta know even if you're being done to unwillingly at some point at least for a Fuc'n sec your body gives up and can't do **** about it.. anyway.. i told him so he;ll know that i wasn't bitching withe anyone.. he keeps asking me who are they but i know he;'s already tooo freakin upset.. can't Say a thing simple cause both are my close family.. skrew them but they're still family you know.. i think you should comfort her more than getting pissed yourself.. but yeah you know what if you could beat the f'ing crap of that dude hell why not.. he deserves much more..even if shes not your girl now..she a girl and doesn't deserve to be treated like that
2006-10-07 02:55:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah.. I remember feeling like this. Only my girls ex actually told me to my face....made me mad with rage..I punched pillows at home for about an hour....honest! Just remember this fella...he may have been there first..but now he isn't..so he cant be that hot, can he..so....fook him! Your girl is your girl...you shouldn't worry about who was there first, just love her better than the last fella. They only had sex..its no big deal. Your ex had every right to do & choose whatever she wanted..we dont own them unfortunately. Be strong, punch pillows and love your girl...better than the other ball-bag! Go get em tiger!....sounds like you still love her to feel like this. So I dont think it is your ex.
2006-10-07 01:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First calm down,she is your ex so why get annoyed.Also maybe its a lie.Go for a nice long walk it might help you to think straight.now come on cheer up.
2006-10-07 01:48:17 · answer #7 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
was she ur girlfriend at the time this happened? if so she's no good let her go. if a horse stumbles once it'll stumble again. ur better off without her. but if u weren't with her then it's nothing to do with u. talk to her about it.
2006-10-07 01:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by nosey old lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over her quick she sounds like a nasty skank . cheap girls like that are not worth getting upset about . move on and try to find a girl with a bit more self respect and moral fibre dare i say it decency.i reckon judging by your question that your an alright guy , go get yourself a nice girl.
2006-10-07 01:48:11 · answer #9 · answered by Alex P 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know what you are talking about, if its raped then you cant do nothing about it hon, its up to her to do something, not you. if it aint raped i dont know what you are talking about, if u cant say the word coz ur angry then say the first letter a letter in the middle and the end letter, so we dont have to guess, we try to help but we need to know what you are talking about to do that xXx
2006-10-07 01:48:06 · answer #10 · answered by Fader's Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋