Why do people get married if they are "swingers" or plan to have an open relationship? Why not remain single?

Question

Is it really possible to love one person only but want to have sex with many others? Maybe these people don't marry for love. I know many couples plan to participate in this type of activity, or maybe only one of the parties plans to be unfaithful... Still, I think I would get jealous and don't know how I could trust that my partner would always come back to me if they were having sexual relationships with other people, even if I was joining in. I wouldn't have a hard time being faithful but I don't know if I could be sure that the other person wouldn't change their mind about our relationship. I also have a hard time having sex with people I don't care about, like, or even know. I hope this makes sense - it is kind of a broad question. Maybe I'd like to be "looser" about such ideas but find that I really want one person to be faithful to and love me. If they marry for children, I know children really interfere with a sex life, so it makes no sense to me. I'm trying to understand.

Answer 1

Maybe they like the security of having one partner to go home with. Or, they treat sex as sex, but when they go home making live as such. Very few can separate the two. ( sex and love making). The ones who can, may, and that's a stretch too, make it, but most divorce over it. You cannot find very many couples that have been together for very long that do swing.

Answer 2

I am with you. I wouldn't sleep with someone if I knew that they were sleeping with other people. The bible says to forgive, and of course I would have to forgive my husband if he did that, but I would divorce him as well. Relationship is all about trust. I made sure that my husband had the same value system as myself before I gave him my promise. Some people marry right away and dont think to ask such questions. But, perhaps they marry for insuance purposes and such. My husband worked with a man who him and his wife were swingers. They divorced a couple of years ago. A lot of people who don't have God in their marriage cannot make it work. Most as a matter of fact. And I don't think God condones swinging.

Answer 3

Some people get married for political reasons. Others, for financial reasons. Not all marry for love.

Unfortunately, some people will claim that they are indeed in love, but want to have sexual relations outside the marriage. If this is the case, the love is not a real marrying love, but a friendship love.

Answer 4

its often a security thing combined with a financial thing, maybe they just aren't hung up like most of us are? You can seperate sex form love, they are two seperate things. You can have great sex without love, but with love you make love, the actual sex may not be as good but the after play is better

Answer 5

Some people can do that kind of stuff & it doesn't affect their marriage but makes it better. I have seen it destroy marriages too. I feel like you do ..It's not for me but we all are different. Just make sure you marry for the right reasons & let those who don't suffer the conquences.

Answer 6

I agree, swinging is not good for a marriage. Like you said, why have a spouse when you just want to sleep with other people.

Answer 7

t may be egocentric to ask him to stay single. inspite of each and every thing, i'm ineffective, i'm not likely to renowned the version. He ought to fulfill somebody else whilst he's waiting yet not formerly i'm ineffective

Answer 8

They are always searching for something they will never find. happiness, commitment and fullfilment. Love eludes swingers too. They are just sad people.