Why when a person is caught cheating they always say, you made me do it? My wife said that when I foud out she was having an affiar. She was going out to clubs 5 nights a week. I purchased a spy program and was able to print all of her e-mail as well as yahoo questions and answers. When I confronted her, her answer was that i made her do it. It takes two people to make or break a marriage. I have my faults like every one else, but I have a hard time with that remark. i told her that I was no way responsible for her sleeping with the other guy. If thta was what she wanted, she should hav eleft me to sleep around` all she wants. Since then, she has stopped going out and has asked to try to work things out, but is placing demads on me and when I mention to her what I need, such as additional support, attention, love, etc, she says to give her space and not to push her. i think that she is playing me for a fool and it is only a matter of time before she hits the streets again.
2006-10-06 22:51:18 · 17 answers · asked by ACE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dude, leave her she is telling you to leave her. she was probably telling you a long time ago, but you were not listening, probably couldnt not see that it was over and she did not want to be with you.
open your eyes up and take things for what they are.
your fighting a battle that has only one participant and that has been over a long time ago.
just leave
2006-10-06 23:07:24 · answer #1 · answered by concrete water 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is quite weird how a person wants to get back together but makes demands specially when she was at fault to begin with. What i would do if i were you is state that we can date if you want but im open to dating other people..... Meaning you both date people and eachother. I understand part of you doesnt want that because you dont want her seeing other people but the fact that she wants to work things out tells me one of three things
1) she really does want to work things out
2) she wants to work things out but wants her cake and eat it to sort of thing
3) financially unstable she is and she needs you to make it
If i had a guess with your information i would say that she is probably going with option 2 and 3
Here is the thing that gets me if she wants things to be worked out between the two of you do as i say and start dating her and others.. And make sure she knows its that way.... Because if shes been seeing other people and cheating on you yet still wants you back this is the funny part she probably expected these other men or man to give her a life of togetherness and when you found out she was cheating it killed her because the other guy she was messing with most likely canned her leaving her alone. LOL if that happened its all in your hands and your in controll trust me because sometimes women can be addicted to emotion and a man showing them emotion but at the same time they get board with the same guy (true in the case of men all the time which is why men cheat more often) Basically if she continues to fail on the dating seen and sees you doing well with it she will not only be jelous but want you back even more. You deserve better anyways if it were me i would just move on all together but nobody likes to be cheated on
2006-10-06 23:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously communiction was never a part of your relationship with your wife. I doubt if it ever was even before the two of you were married. It appears as if you both have different needs and neither one is willing to give in to the other's needs. I see no hope for your marriage unless the both of you are willing to seek cousling of some sort...you probably should never have gotten married in the first place.
2006-10-06 23:21:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are justified in being pissed off that she says it's because of you...since, yes, marriage is a two-way street. Usually, when marriages fail, excluding problems with a partners drug or alcohol addiction, it's about both parties.
I will say that if you want to work on your marriage, you will have to forget about the cheating, start fresh and both of you will need to communicate feelings and needs or just end it and move on.
Even if you are is the worst relationship imaginable, you have the choice to end it; instead of cheating. If you wanted to you could have cheated, but you didn't and she did, that's plain as day to me.
2006-10-06 23:04:34 · answer #4 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think by her blaming you for her indescretions,it is just a way for her to justify the affair and by you staying with her after the fact only reinforces that statement.because if it was not your fault why would you still be there,if it was really her fault you would have left....
more than likely this was not the first time and by blaming you she can keep on cheating until you find out whay you supposedlt did to make her cheat,which you never will.
Leave her now before you really get hurt again and again..
2006-10-06 23:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by dhorseshoer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easier to blame someone than to accept responsibility.
The simple fact is, if it was your fault (and it may well have been) she should have been able to communicate with you, to get to the root of the problem.
You and her need to see a therapist/councellor, because neither of you are able to see eye to eye on each other's needs.
You doubt she is willing to change, and she doubts you will give her what she needs.
Find some middle ground - if that is what you want.
2006-10-06 22:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by byrne4u2002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your fault! You should have given her the boot a long time ago! She wants to have her cake and eat it too
BTW
It takes two to make a marriage, but only 1 to break it!
2006-10-06 23:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that she is playing you for a fool and it is only a matter of time before she hits the streets again.
2006-10-06 23:10:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault the only way she cans say that is if you cheated on her.. And I would really watch her closely if she is not giving you the support that you need and want then there is something wrong and somehing needs to be fixed
2006-10-06 23:26:26 · answer #9 · answered by robruscoates 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry to read ur post dear.. it is human nature, to blame others if thr is any fault rather thn telling ppl is my fault. It is easy to fall in love but tough to maintain it. As days pass, years gone, many couples forgotten how they fall in love, forget tos little thgs they did for their love ones.. slowly gets tired, bored.. many ppl want the other part to live the way they want them to be.. sigh.. marriage.. a HUGH knowledge..
2006-10-06 23:02:01 · answer #10 · answered by a4apple 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋