I stay at home to take care of our three sons. I have no car no job and my spouse does not even allow me on any of his accounts. No I dont steal hes just selfious. I dont want to leave my kids but court says if I cant afford to care for them financially on my own my spouse will get custody. I cant see how this is fair. And as for get spousal and child support, Ive tried, and unless I can afford to live on my own with them now without his supposed support I cant get custody, I have no access to his finances earnings credit cards bank accounts, Im not even the benificary on his insurance, his sisters are. He never put me on our rental lease, and the land lord said Im not allowed to live here even though unfortunately wever been wed over 10 years. Hes filed for dissolution 4 times and dissmissed all of them, I have asked for help for years and just cant find any. Any suggestions?
2006-10-06 22:39:34 · 18 answers · asked by reiley143 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
good grief, where do you live?....If you are in the states, I know there are women's groups, and shelters for women with children, I just don't know what they are...there has to be somebody that can help you, advise you, hopefully there will be someone who can answer your question with the names of some of these organizations....Sounds like your partner is a real prize to the male species (sarcastically)...You are in a tough spot, and I hope down the road it gets easier for you, sincerely....
2006-10-06 22:47:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all if your legally married, it doesn't matter if your name is listed on the lease. your landlord can't make you leave unless your husband lied when he completed the lease about being married. In that case, the landlord must make you both leave.
next thing you must do is get yourself enrolled in school girl.
Go to your local community college and get a schedule of classses. There are many certificate programs that you can enroll in for under a year and get yourself not just a job, but a career. There is much help out there for women financially to go back to school. Most community college's even have free or very inexpensive child care (of which you can also receive grant money for) so taking care of your children should not be an issue here. Once your done there and can get a job and stand on your own two feet, there is no reason to stay in your marriage if you don't want to. Don't let anyone tell you they will take your kids from you if you are a good and loving mother. Get it together and get a voice and be heard through education and stability.
2006-10-07 19:01:45 · answer #2 · answered by lue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most states have community property laws that will give you 1/2 of all assets even if your name isn't on the deed for the house.
Attorneys often offer free 1st time consultations. Try to find one.
Since you live in the home and are married you can always go to the Dept. of Children and Family services (or call them) and talk with a social worker telling her of the situation. I suspect they will investigate to find out if there is grounds for neglect. Many many single mothers are on public assistance. Contact those offices and see what can be done. They obviously get to keep their children. Courts are not so willing to take children away from their mothers unless it can be proven that she is unfit. While nothing can be done about his insurance other than you contesting a will after his death. You can sue on behalf of your children and yourself.
You need an attorney. An attorney can also include within the settlement his fees to be paid for by your husband.
Other than that the only course I see you taking is to report him to child welfare for neglect due to him not providing you with funds to take care of them. If you have family try to see if they are willing to take you and you will have to try working and establishing yourself.
2006-10-08 00:04:21 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of this sounds not clear why would he do all of this, why are you so concentrated on getting something from him instead of trying to provide for your kids, I am not saying he doesn't need to take care of you but that's why there are laws that protect women with kids. In the meantime your kids are the ones that suffer, try to get a job and do not depend on him let him know that you don't need him and that you can take care of you and your kids and that he has no control over your life and maybe he will realize that he is a jerk then the ball would be in your court.
2006-10-07 12:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by Zuny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to your nearest domestic violence shelter and see if they will help. What you are describing is indeed abuse. You might want to check on that life insurance policy and any retirement holdings. In NY I was told when I married the second time that all my life insurance and retirement was transferred to my husband as beneficiary due to marriage. I had him sign a statement stating that he did not want that money so it could go to my children. do you have any family or friends that you can turn too. If he is telling you that you will not be able to get child support he is wrong. Sounds like he is trying to keep you a prisioner of his home. Good luck to you and your children
2006-10-07 08:09:40 · answer #5 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you are married or not, you are entitled to half, or more of the money and assets.
Get with it hunny, take the kids and go to your mums or a friends place, its during these times that you have to rely on family while you find your feet.
Get a job and take control of your life, that way the courts will not give him custody.
Take him to court and claim what it rightfully YOURS!!!!!!!
He will HAVE to pay child support, so you will have some kind of money for the kids........get organised stay strong.
Call a lawyer and get advice.
2006-10-07 07:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you married? You indicated "even though unfortunately wever been wed over 10 years".
Which is it?
You have 3 sons, you need to stay with this guy until you can get a job. Do you have an education? What have you been doing the past few years besides having sex and kids?
2006-10-07 05:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by mklwis 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I don't know where you live...if it's in the U.S. you need to consult a lawyer as soon as possible, the way your husband is treating you is considered spousal abuse in the states and are grounds for divorce as well as custody of your kids. He apparently has you totally snowed and controlled. See a lawyer FAST.
2006-10-07 06:24:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds bad but...find a way to claim domestic abuse. If he is abusive and you have a police report, money doesn't matter and the kids are yours with his money. I am not saying it's okay to lie and take a man for everything, but you are being mistreated and not respected as his wife and mother of his children. Just my thought. Good luck.
2006-10-07 05:50:03 · answer #9 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's obvious that you are looking in the wrong places for answers...There is help out there.....Everyone has the chose to control their own life and at this point you have allowed him all the power....Wise up and get out of their.....You must have family or friends that could help you until you can get established.....
2006-10-07 07:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋