Is it okay to tell your husband you are filing for divorce on the phone or by sms/email?

Question

we are still leaving together but I dread his reaction if I tell him after he come home late at night then I still have to share the same bed with him. n the only time we go out is with my son n i don want to have a row in front of the boy

Answer 1

Whatever the situation is, whetheryou are still living together or sharing the same room, if you have decided to file it, then you have to take the courage to tell him 'face to face'.

It's not easy.

It took me a while to think : what time? where? how should I phrase the issue? etc etc...and not knowing the repsonse was also quite frightful. Who knows if he will get crazy and hurt me...all these spinning in my brain for weeks or maybe months before I spoke up. I chose one night when my son has gone to bed, went through what I thought beforehand, and I did it, holding tears back as much as possible so that the words are clear ! Gosh !

Answer 2

Personally I believe that telling your spouse you are going to file for divorce should be done in person. Any communication over the phone or SMS maybe interpret wrongly by your spouse. That could result in a bigger misunderstanding. Unless you feel that your spouse is unable to take the blow and may have very drastic action after breaking such news to him otherwise there is no need for you to hide the truth from him. Ultimately the final decision lies with you. Hope that my views is of some use to you

Answer 3

Hello. I personally think that telling your spouse you are going to file for divorce is just one of those things that should be done in person. Basically because you probably owe him at least that much, as he would owe you. Unless it is impossible due to specific circumstances, I would not do it by phone or be email if I were you. Save those avenues for smaller things in life. I would not want to get a phone call or email with that news, and he probably will not want to either. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Why are you still sleeping with him? You don't continue sleeping with someone you plan on divorcing. I suggest you file for a temporary seperation until you can figure out just what it is you want...you can have him served seperation papers at work. Then if you decide to go ahead with the divorce you can have him served divorce papers anywhere you choose. But if you plan on filing for divorce sleeping together isn't the way to do it.

Answer 5

Maybe you could IM him or phone him and let him know that you need to meet him somwhere nuteral and in public. Then you could serve him the divorce papers yourself or with someone else there to help you. Not infront of your son and not in your home. This might be less hurtful and less confrontational in the long run.
Good luck.

Answer 6

Depends on your relationship....what kind of contact do you have? You are better to do things to protect yourself physically and emotionally. If you feel you need to look him in the eye then do so but not at your own safety.

Answer 7

Guess it will be better to sit down with him together with your lawyer.

At least you get to hear what he had to say about himself and you get to express yourself at the same time.

Of course, with the lawyer, he will not able to use force again you, unless he want to get himself in jail.

Answer 8

NO unless he is capable of beating you it should be done face to face. You may also wish to see a counselor and tell him with the counselor present.

Answer 9

If you're worried about your safety, absolutely.

I got dumped by e-mail once and it made it ten times worse, so if you want to break it gently, may I suggest you don't tell him electronically.

Answer 10

you know it is always hard to do you should tell him and maybe if he sees the papers he may want to work things out with you good luck