I don't know how to deal with work situation?

Question

when I started at my job last summer I had been diagnosed with a long term illness and had times when I would be off work. I was very open about this to all concerned. Unfortunately, after only 1 month I became very ill and was off for 5 months very sick. i never recieved 1 phone call or message from anyone. On return I was told by my line manager that certain members of the team had "issues" about my absence. Since then some members have made it as difficult as possible and I have had to work really hard to intergrate ( I am one of the managers) However I am off again hopefully only for a couple of weeks .I feel so hurt and angry about all this but yet cannot show this any suggestions?

misslabel - not all of us can afford to resign not an option.
All of my collegues are aware that I have a serious life long condition

thats something I had not thought of thanks hammertim

Answer 1

I personally think you are been victimised, you were very open and honest about your illness and as it is a long term illness they were happy to accept your honesty and gave you the job, I think a talk with the superior manager is in order to get this situation sorted out, you have rights in the work place and it is part and parcel of the work policy for the company you work for to abide by them, if they continue to make your life miserable for you I would seek legal advice either through the work discrimination board or via a solicitor, I know this is something you can probably do without, but letting them get away with it now isn't going to be any good for your health or for future employers at that company, make your stand, it is your right, you were honest with them and should expect the same in return, I hope you are feeling better soon, good luck.

Answer 2

You have an illness, senior management knew about it so there is no question on that one.

At the next team meeting hijack it. When everyone is in there ask the question. Ask what they have all got against you and wait for their answers but be prepared for some tough and possibly hurtful words.

Then you have your say, tell them everything. Give it to them both barrels and if necessary, reduce them to tears. After the meeting, then offer to retire to the local and buy the first round, show no hard feelings.

I Know it will not be easy but clearing the air might make them a little bit more tolerant towards your time off sick and who knows, understanding you better might actually help integration as I bet it is the rumours that are causing the problems, not the facts.

Try not to get too stressed as this will cause further problems and could cause more time off work.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 3

Fully understand where you are coming from. I had a similar situation in work because I was off sick for over a month with depression and people were very cagey when I got back. Sometimes people don't know how to deal with sick people. If you feel you can be then try to be open with the work colleagues that you do get on with about what was wrong, at least that way someone will know what happened and if they hear rumours about you being a bad manager for taking time off then they can quash them knowing you had a legitimate excuse. Also try talking to your Occupational Health advisor/Union advisor because obviously working in a bad environment is going to affect your recovery (whether physical or mental illness) and make it harder for your to reintegrate into work.

If team members continue to make it difficult then complain to the management team that you feel you are being discriminated against. Catalogue everything. I didn't and ended up losing my job over it.

Good luck, whatever happens and hope that it all works out for you.

Answer 4

If you are working in the UK there is legislation to protect against this, If things are really bad start making a note of the things that are said, attitudes and keep a diary. This is very useful if ever it gets so bad that you can no longer work there, it is classed as constructive dismissal, even if it is not the management that are making your life hell. Raise the point to your superior and make them aware of how upsetting it is. They have to do something. If they sack you, you are on to a winner. The employee has so many rights these days that it is very hard to get rid of someone.

Answer 5

This will be hard for you to hear, but these are facts. Your co-workers are not your friends. Outside of work, you have very little contact with them and little in common. In a work situation, when someone from the team is absent, the other must make up the difference. This is very difficult in everyone. Certainly, in your personal life you;re sick and you feel like crap, but like the show, the job must go on. Other people are suffering for your illness as well and they don't like it.

I'm not really sure what your question is. You want to know how to make them feel all happy and cheerful that they have to do more work because of your personal issues? I'm not sure that thre's a way to do that. Everything has a consequence and your illness has the consequence of extra stress on the team. It's not all about you.

I can picture myself in both sides as someone who is frequently absent myself. On one side I feel like I should quit and lt someone more capable fill the position. Not just capable skillwise, but presense-wise as well. On the other side... the same thing.

You may or may not be legally entitled to hold your position or force your employer to hold it for you. But morally is that the right thing to do when there are others who can actually be there? My suggestion would be a resignation.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, though you would like a fair reading and opinion feedback for your question, it doesn't give enough description and background to allow anyone to do that. Any answer you received cannot be relied on as accurate. A long term illness can be cancer (at the top end) or pollen allergy (at the low end)...and your co-workers are apparently reacting to whatever information they have at their disposal and applying it to how you fit into their work world. It's a complicated subject matter that only you know the details about, and it would be maybe impossible for you to share enough of your story for anyone else to get a good enough grasp on it to give meaningful feedback. And meaningful feedback is what you need right now.

Answer 7

If people are not willing to make allowances for you being sick then to hell with them. Your line manager was only passing a statement it was not an offical complaint and did not come from the Human Rescources department. There is a good chance he was making it up to try and infleunce whether or not you took sick leave.Don't kill yoursely over settling in, to your team members you are still the newbie. afterall, you have only been in work for one month before you were sick and a short period after. Give it time and don,t worry. Concentrate on your health.

Answer 8

Look you were honest when you started your job so they will just have to deal with it tell them if they have a problem with you taking a lot of time off they can have your illness because you didn’t wont it in the first place but seems as how you have it there going to have to show some compassion and understanding to your situation.

Answer 9

You say you have been open about this with your employers, but do your team know the full details? Maybe they are hearing rumours and don't have the full picture.

Assuming its appropriate to give them the full details of your condition then maybe you should take them aside, perhaps over a beer and explain the reasons for your absense and the difficulties you have been through. I am sure you will find them understanding when they have it direct from you rather than second hand.

Answer 10

i am sorry candy this may hurt and i expect a lot of thumbs down for it but i think it was a good company to take you on knowing you had an illness.not knowing what your illness is myself i have to ask are you playing on it just for time off work?also your colleagues have to do your work when you are not there without extra pay so i understand their feelings.why dont you try to work from home?