Tell me the most hilarious, stupid, idiodic or sexalicious drunken story you have experienced?

Question

Mine occured when my mate his girlfriend and my girlfriend went out clubbing in town. We got back to his place but his idiot brother had let some of his friends sleep in my mates bed so we were all stuck in the rumpus room. Me and my girlfriend slept in the same sleeping bag, same as mate and his girl. We were whispering and kissing each other and all of a sudden my mate his his girlfriend were going at it right next to us and the funniest 'give it to me's' and 'take this weapon' and 'it's so big' were coming out of their sleeping bag. It didn't last very long and we tease them about it all the time. They are so embaressed

Answer 1

Fell off a balcony once, Three story's up! Thank god for the bushes That broke my fall. If you are wondering why I was out in the balcony, That's where the keg was !

Answer 2

the first time i got it in the @$$. my now husband was doing me from behind in the parking lot at the bar over the back of our car and it slid out and up my butt it felt good untill we were done then i couldnt walk back into the bar i had to stand there for what seemed like an hour. i couldnt sit on the way home while he laughed at me. ha ha didnt know how bad it hurt till the next day when i relized he litterally tore me a new @$$ hole. 4 days later we got really drunk and he was talking crap about that night so when we went to pass out i shoved my finger in his @$$. he came like theres no tomarrow and so hard to but i made fun of him the next day as i used no lube. lol pay backs a b/tch

Answer 3

For our anniversary my Ex and I went out on the town. She had bought me a pair of Crushed Suede pants and I bought her a velvet corset. We went out for mexican and went clubbing and she got tanked. When we got home she was all over me as these sort of nights end up being romantic. She tried going down on me (Something she'd been pretty shy about) She got me into her mouth and immediately hit her gag reflex and out comes a huge mexican dinner, $80 suede pants destoryed, $200 Velvet Corset completely destroyed, night over. But at least we had a good laugh that night.

Answer 4

This is a story that my uncle told me many years ago, before he passed away. He loved women. He loved dancing. He loved having a good time. And he loved women! I mean he REALLY loved women!

He went by a "bodega" that had gone out of business and some guys boarded up the front windows with plywood and had scrawled on it, "Social Club." They filled a few garbage cans with ice, and had beers for sale, had a small turn table with Latin music going, and a few tired out whores hanging around asking men to buy them drinks and dancing with them... all having a good time.

Well, that was an invitation for my uncle! He met one skinny, ugly thing and he was squeezing and grinding himself up against her, had her pretty drunk, too. She kept saying things like, "Ooohhh, if you continue to do that, I'll do something disgraceful..." and he continued. That ugly thing invited him to her studio around the corner and he went along, mumbling, "Yeah, I'm getting down! Yeah, I'm gonna show her a few things...!"

She asked him to sit on the bed while she went into the bathroom to "freshen up" but he chose to peek through the door which she left ajar... as she dropped her panties, he saw that "she" also had a larger penis than HE had! He screamed out, and between falling down the flight of stairs with his pants in his hands, or trying to put them on in the sidewalk outside of the building and trying to run at the same time as people saw him and laughed hysterically at him, he sobered up really quick!

True story. May he rest in peace (he passed away in the late 60s, too much drinking finally caused him to "rot" his liver...).

Answer 5

I hit myself in the nuts with my scanner today at work, i dont feel like explaining it though because you probally would not get it. i dont even think Quentin Tarintino could explain it.