I don't mean this to be gross - please here me out. My best friend has been married to this man for over 10 years and she tells me all the time that he never initiates sex and when they do have sex (which is usually only once a month after much begging) she has to get on top - cuz he is too lazy to do get on top... WHAT IS THE PROBLEM with this guy??? He watches alot of porn and has asked her if they can have a 3-some with another woman - which she said NO because that would be CHEATING - and He said - "I never thought of it that way" ... I have often wondered if he is gay or if he is cheating on her or does he have some other psychological problem??? Has anyone ever known someone like this - or know what is his problem? She will read your answers too. Thanks.
2006-10-06 20:06:30 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's actually very beautiful. Blonde, thin, good shape - always looks nice. She's still pretty young. I'm sure her looks do not factor in...
2006-10-06 20:13:52 · update #1
Like I said -she is my best friend - for over 15 yrs now - we talk about everything - And yes, her husband knows how she feels. - She asked me to ask you guys what you think - she is still anonymous here.
2006-10-06 20:28:52 · update #2
it's not like he really wants her
the part about the three-some is a clue....he has other interests.
monogamous marriage is no longer attractive to him.
2006-10-06 20:25:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
They should go to a marriage counselor and he should get a medical exam by a doctor. There can be medical reasons for a low sex drive. Since your friend is reading this: how long has this been going on? Is it a change for him? Was he like this from the beginning?
This husband does have some kind of problem but marriages are complicated and both people can be playing a part. If there is nothing medically wrong, counseling may help. Certainly you don't wont to throw a 10 year marriage away without looking into all the ways it can possibly be saved. But a 3 way is not one of the ways to save a marriage! It is cheating! I can't believe that the husband never thought of it as cheating!
Anger issues can be a big reason for sexual problems in a marriage.
2006-10-07 03:42:52 · answer #2 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man on top is 'typically' but ask any guy and he'll admit it's hell on the arms.
It is far less strenuous for the woman on top position for both of them and typically the woman enjoys the experience more due to positional placement and ability to control depth and contact to what she likes.
It is also significantly easier for a guy to 'hold out' if time is a factor. Woman on top gives a man a visual of the sex act as well as a chance to think 'baseball' to slow down if he needs it without getting noticed as easily.
Strange fact is some guys don't think a threesome is cheating if she agrees. Neither do some women for that matter.
Guys are just like women and can suffer sexual dysfunction. If he isn't chasing his hot wife around the house then she needs to get him to his doctor for a check up. Guys usually don't go to a doctor unless they are sick- talking flu here ladies! They also don't tell thier doctors anything is wrong unless A. it hurts REALLY bad B. they are bleeding noticeably C. They suspect they might die. So your friend should speak to his doctor herself before he goes and explain her concerns and his moods/attitudes and lack of sexual drive. If the marriage is fairly good and you see no obvious reasons for sexual dissfaction which there does not appear tobe from your post she really should drag him into his doctor and get some help.
Poor girl is going to have every single horny guy on here wishing he was her husband and wondering if her spouse is just nuts or blind. Hopefully a trip to the doctor can figure out and get some help for whatever is affecting him. Could be as simple as bloodpressure- or an imbalance in his system or perhaps he needs to be treated for depression just make sure she tells the doctor her concerns and observations before her spouses appointment because he wont volunteer this when he goes in himself.
2006-10-07 03:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by Answerkeeper 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Has she ever discussed her wants and needs to her husband rather than YOU? You're not the person she should be talking about this with, her husband is. Why would you assume he has a psychological problem just because he chooses not to be on top? There are a lot of women out there who don't want to be on top as well. There is no set position as to how everyone on this planet should enjoy sex. Maybe he just enjoys being on the bottom. Maybe it's you and her who have the problem since she seems that discussing her personal bedroom activities with you is the thing to do.
2006-10-07 03:18:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Thats odd. I have never been with a guy who wont be on top. My fiance is on top most of the time. I just prefer it that way. Sounds to me that hes a dawg for askin her to have a threesome. I dont think I could stay with someone who want the gal to do all the sacrificeing and work during sex.
2006-10-07 03:14:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Maybe he just doesn't like it as much on top--even though it seems most men prefer that position. That part seems unrelated to the fact that they have infrequent sex, which is probably and entirely different issue.
2006-10-07 03:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by retorik75 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe she should get toys and just go to town right in front of him while hes watching his porn. she should be loud and just *** over and over with out him. this might turn him on and the thoght of her lovin herself shows him she doesn realy need it from him since she has to beg and then do the work herself might as well do herself. then when he wants it she can just lay there. it blows away there ego and they do everything to boost it back up. if this doesnt work maybe he has a severe mental problem.
2006-10-07 03:24:10 · answer #7 · answered by evilella 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i say he isn't turned on by this woman. maybe she is overweight or smells bad. and anyway, why do u ask people here? ask him, cos if he watches porn and wants to have a threesom says everything is ok with his sexuality. he does want sex with another woman
2006-10-07 03:11:03 · answer #8 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Tell her to request her husband for 3some with another man...........Make sure that she request to find someone with LARGER organ than his hubby..........
see how he reacts !! Guess he will never ask for 3some with another woman...
2006-10-07 04:20:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's to lazy to satisfy one women why would he want a threesome. Oh, he probably just want to watch to women get off.
2006-10-07 03:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋