i am in a relationship of 16 years. we have 2 kids together but not married. he is always lying to me and cheating on me with other women. i stay because of my kids. they are 14 and 12(boys). I love him but i want to know should i continue putting up with his behavior for the kids sake or leave and try to have a life of my own. Please help. i dont know what to do.
2006-10-06 20:02:44 · 12 answers · asked by teresa_lynn_36 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sweetie leave, its not going to get any better, the kids will understand, just dont badmouth him to the kids or try to turn the kids against him, this is between you and him, the writing should have been on the wall sweetie when you have stuck it out for 16 years and still no commitment of marriage and two kids, get out now while you are still young, dont let him lower your self esteem. You are a wonderful women and desrve better ok
Peace and Love
2006-10-06 20:08:05 · answer #1 · answered by kalela L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you talked to your kids about how they feel about their father? Don't bash their father, but ask them what they think of you two, and if you're comfortable with them, tell them you're thinking about leaving him.
I'm not trying to say anything, but it's not a traditional family you have. While a lot of kids need both parents, kids in a "Grey area" situation actually prefer their parents split. A separation might not be so bad.
You should be about your kids, but don't forget, this is your life, and you need to do what makes you happy. Your kids will see that someday.
When my mom separated from my dad, I was ecstatic. It helped not only my mom, it also helped me grow. Being around a bad relationship can be just as harmful to a child as the parents. And you want to show your children to be strong, and ensure their happiness.
2006-10-07 03:19:29 · answer #2 · answered by Pinky385 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as a relationship based on cheating and lies... as TRUE relationships will never exist with such things... if you want a true, functional, and wonderful (subjective) relationship, that relationship should be based on trust and honesty... Coming clean and saying how you truly feel is the first step. If your so-called partner can't handle that, then you should move on with your life... besides, you have kids to think about and you don't want them growing up with a liar and a cheater, right?
2006-10-07 03:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by Arashikitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh come on....Sometimes the kids will do better if the parents act like adults and do what is best for themselves. Why are you staying for this? Do you not think that your kids will happier if you are happier? They are not stupid. You need to move on with your life. Your boys are old enough to understand what is going on. Don't torture yourself anymore. It is time and you all deserve to be happy. You are not getting any younger. Get a back bone, stand up for yourself, and move on, that is what he is wanting if he is cheating on you. You deserve better.
2006-10-07 03:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, don't put up with it. The kids will do fine, being with him is not teaching the kids the right thing. You have to get ready and leave. Are you married? If you are you must get the evidence of his cheating and get a good lawyer.
good luck!
2006-10-07 04:59:26 · answer #5 · answered by peaceful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids are old enough to get past leaving him. I say move on and start a life with you and the kids with out him. You deserve better.
2006-10-07 03:05:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce...erps....break up/kick him out for the kids sake! They see whats going on no matter how you hide it they have a spiritual sense of normality in the home that will probably play out to similar effects in thier own decisions in thier own lives.
This is normality to them!
2006-10-07 03:05:26 · answer #7 · answered by jorluke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on; do you really have to ask? Think about it, you are a free women to do what ever you want. Your to good for that. Now remember, it is your fault if you stay and put up with it.
2006-10-07 03:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Head 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing that's letting him make it because you're not married...my advise to you is to suggest you two to get married since you already have two kids and the fact that they are already teens...thay can be called illegitimate you know..you just have to explain that to him and yes the truth hurts but talking to him about cheating on you should be solved because if not, you will be the one who is pitiful..goodluck!
2006-10-07 03:32:00 · answer #9 · answered by Janne Chrystyl V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what goes around comes around its called cama you obviously dont mind it if you have stayed this long i understand as i to have kids but dont just it back and wait for him go out yourself explore and have fun. maybe if he see's you doing the same thing hes doing he will stop and pull his head out his @$$ and see whats in front of him.
2006-10-07 03:06:25 · answer #10 · answered by evilella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋