I have just done a pregnancy test and its positive. But I do not want to have a baby now as I am due to leave for 18 months overseas. I am supposed to leave in 6 weeks time. I have only been seeing the father for about 8 weeks. He is a lovely guy but I don't know if he is the one for me and I am sure he would want me to keep the baby and for me not go to New Zealand. Any suggestions?
2006-10-06 19:56:16 · 34 answers · asked by Gillian C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It is only right that the father have a voice in the decision making process, it's his child too. Lots of people have children with someone that they don't stay with for one reason or another...it is the RIGHT thing to do.
2006-10-06 19:59:09 · answer #1 · answered by kveldulfgondlir 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This will sound very critical but I believe that the decision was made when you had sex (whether protected or unprotected) What I mean is that when you chose to have sex you chose the possible outcome of pregnancy which means that you chose the responsibility of another life. I don't feel you have the right to keep the information of this man's child from him. What if the situation were reversed? If he had information that impacted your life in a major way would you want him to tell you?
Many will try to tell you that it is not a baby but it is and to have an abortion would stop that babies life.
He is the father and he should be included in your decision. You decided to have sex together so you should decide this together. You don't know what he will want until you tell him. Maybe he would want to raise the child without you? Maybe he would want to go to New Zealand with you? Maybe adoption is the best choice? There are millions of deserving people out there waiting for a baby maybe you are their answer. There are many choices to this situation but abortion should not be one of them.
Life is so very short. I am assuming that you are young, you don't have to give up your life for the child. They just add to it and it is amazing how once you have them nothing else matters. I was in HR management and had a great career when my daughter came along and now I could care less if I ever work again!
Please don't make a quick decision on this! Talk to him, talk to someone that you really trust. Go to an adoption agency. Read about what abortion really is.
If you are capable of making the decision to have sex then be responsible with the result of that action.
Please know that I truly say all of these things out of caring for you and your unborn baby. I know that you are scared right now but realize that this is the most important decision that you will ever make!!!!
Talk to people that have had abortions and see what they say.
Most importantly TELL HIM!!!!!!
I hope I don't seem too harsh!
PS......I just realized that your name is my daughters name, exact spelling and our last name starts with a C. Very interesting huh?
2006-10-06 20:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by scrapaddict 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I were the father I would definetly like to know. It's not ethical to not say anything. It seems your more concerned about this pregnancy preventing your travel or career plans then any concern for the baby or the father. Your very young and you can postpone whatever plans these are. Your baby is both yours and your boyfriends so he has a right to know. If you posted this question on here then I think your conscience is trying to tell you something.
2006-10-06 20:12:17 · answer #3 · answered by azoreanguy 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Start with a follow up to your pcp, and then decide which alternative is best for you. You may decide to keep the baby, give it up for adoption or decide to terminate the pregnancy. but it has to be YOUR DECISION, don't let others tell you how you should feel or what you should do. it is a major life changing event if you choose to keep the baby or not, and you have to be able to deal with your decision for the rest of your life. Once you have come to a place in your mind what you feel you would want to do, then involve the father, he has a right to know too.
2006-10-06 21:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by Bunny 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Remember that this is a new life inside of you. This child can grow up and accomplish great things. We don't have any rights for the unborn in this country like we should. He/she is only going to stay in your body for 9 months of your life. PLEASE consider Adoption as an alternative. There are tons of parents out there who can't have children and would love to adopt your child. Abortion has a lot of side-effects and more and more studies being done prove it. Give it up for adoption and then go overseas. A little postponement is worth it to bring a deserving life into this world and give it to deserving parents. God brings life so please don't cut it off before it has a chance.
2006-10-06 20:32:07 · answer #5 · answered by Jamie Smorgen 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do what is right for you. If that means abortion then let it be. If adoption also great. If your not ready then your not which is good to know now than find out later in a pregnancy. If your not ready to be with this man then don't. I strongly suggest that you don't rush into anything that you will regret later on in life. I wish you the best and good luck.
2006-10-06 20:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This may be posted already, but I'll put in my two cents anyway.
If you're planning on keeping the baby, I say definitely tell him. If you're not expecting anything from him, let him know that, but at least if you tell him he will have the option of being part of that child's life or not. And if you are expecting a contribution of any sort from him, at least he'll be prepared when you come for it.
2006-10-07 03:31:16 · answer #7 · answered by desiderio 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. You know him for just 8 weeks.
2. It's possible that he force you to keep the baby BUT what's the guarantee that he will be with you forever?
3. Just talk with him and know his views. If he want to keep baby, ask for some sort of assurance and if he can provide it, keep the baby otherwise focus on your career....
2006-10-06 20:09:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Place yourself in his shoes. Whether you wanted a baby or not isn't that something you would want to know? If you were the guy wouldn't you deserve for your girlfriend to tell you? Especially since you said he is a nice guy. If he was some kind of creep that would be a different story.
2006-10-06 20:40:03 · answer #9 · answered by Stacy G 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do what is best for you and your situation. If having a baby now is not what you want then don't go through with it. If you think you will be pressured into keeping the baby then don't tell the guy. what he dint know wont hurt him. Just remember it is YOUR LIFE, YOUR BODY, you go do what you need to do.
2006-10-06 20:13:20 · answer #10 · answered by AzzGoodAzzItGetz 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seams like you have already made up your mind. If you don't personally have a problem with abortion then I would recommend that... and then don't let him know you did it. The fact of the matter is that when you leave you most likely won't hear from him again... and even if you do... 18 months is a long time to wait for someone.
2006-10-06 19:58:27 · answer #11 · answered by TheLizard 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋